


Campaign 3: Revenge of the GM

by keroseneinablender



Series: The Devil is a Role-Player [5]
Category: Hataraku Maou-Sama! | The Devil Is a Part-Timer!
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:16:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 51
Words: 46,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keroseneinablender/pseuds/keroseneinablender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The third campaign played by our group of roleplayers after their journey to Japan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Like with the previous works in this series, I'm making liberal use of the dialogue in the official English translation and am using a work skin on the piece to indicate which character is speaking. Having work skins enabled while reading the fic is thus recommended.
> 
> Character Index:   
> Maou - Red  
> Ashiya - Murky yellow   
> Urushihara - Purple  
> Emi - Maroon   
> Chiho - Orange  
> Rika - Green   
> Suzuno - Blue   
> The GM - Black

I honestly can’t believe you’re actually ready for today.

How do you mean?

We were celebrating me finishing my dissertation last night, remember? 

And you said you hadn’t been able to think up anything for us to do.

And then you drank the whole damn bar.

Hey, if anything the alcohol provided inspiration. I was able to pound out a whole campaign’s worth of notes last night. 

I don’t think you should be running with the inspiration provided by alcohol.

Anyway…was there anything in particular you wanted to start. 

Suzuno owes me a new bike as I recall, since she murdered Dullahan in cold blood.

Alright then, you and Suzuno are at a bike shop and a man in a workman’s jumpsuit is putting the finishing touches on your new bike. 

Here, I wrote out the specs I want for it.

You planned that out in advance?

Yeah, when I said you owed me a new bike, I meant it.

“Whaddaya think? That’s everything on your list, right there.”

The man points to the bike, his voice full of confidence. 

“…Lemme try it out before I say anything.”

Do you not trust me or something?

“Yeah, I thought you’d say that. It’s fully machined and ready to go - I did all the fine-tuning myself. It’ll put up with whatever you put it through for at least the next hundred years, yeah?”

“I’ll be holding you to that.”

It better be able to survive being hit it with a giant hammer from a skyscraper.

And you complain about me not letting things go.

I climb onto the bike’s seat.

“Whoa… Dang.”

“…How much longer must we perpetuate this charade?”

Just make me buy you the bike already.

I pay you no mind as I bring my hands to the handle bars and stomp down on one of the pedals.

“Whooaaaahh! Wow! It’s so light! I can’t believe how light it is with this gearshift!”

I pump the gearshift two and fro as I navigate the garage.

“This is _awesome_!”

“Thank ya much, Maou! And I’ll cut you a deal, too. How does 29,800 yen sound?”

“Sweet, Mr. Hirose! She’s got the money for you. You got it ready, Suzuno?”

You should count yourself lucky I had the foresight to have Suzuno bring valuables to Japan with her. I take my purse out of my tote bag, a look of utter chagrin on my face.

“Mr. Shopkeeper…”

Was the name really too difficult to remember?

“…was there any manner of meaning behind your conversation just now?”

“Hey, it’s just part of the package, ya know? Part of the package. You really gonna pay the tab this time, though? Ya seeing Maou right now or something?”

“I would like you to refrain from such jests. Circumstances beyond my control are forcing me to pay this bill. Sadao, would you stop cavorting like a child? Return here at once so we can complete whatever antitheft paperwork we need.”

“All right, all right.”

I return and dismount the bike.

“Twenty-nine thousand, eight hundred yen for the bicycle, three hundred yen for the antitheft registration… Ah, you don’t have to worry about the last hundred. Thirty thousand works for me.”

“I appreciate the gesture.”

I take out three ten-thousand-yen bills and hand them to the shopkeeper.

“Thank you much! Say, while you’re here, are you in the market for a bike at all, ma’am?”

I shake my head at the suggestion. Since there’s no way Suzuno knows how to ride one…

“I will pass for now, thank you. I have yet to undergo the relevant drilling.”

“The rele-what?”

“I understand that although no licensing procedure is required, one must undergo a process of education that involves the use of a support device known as ‘training wheels’.”

And now I’m picturing the prim and proper, kimono-clad Suzuno pumping away at a child-bike with training wheels attached. Pony decals and handlebar streamers are involved.

“That could be pretty cute, actually, huh?”

I glare a bit at you.

That wasn’t meant to be in character…but it is something Maou would totally say.

“Honestly…Mr. Shopkeeper, I would have the receipt, please.”

“Oh? Uh, sure. I’m gonna have to handwrite one, if that works for ya. Hang on while I find my receipt pad.”

“If you could make it out to ‘Sankt Ignoreido Co., Ltd.,’ I would appreciate it.”

“Whoa, is that…”

Hirose pays the name of Suzuno’s corporation no mind. 

“And there you go. Thanks again! Take good care of that thing for me, Maou. It’s a gift, I guess, yeah? 

“Um, yeah…”

I wave at Hirose and walk my new bike away from the shop.

I follow suit, using a summer parasol to protect myself from the heat.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hey, like, what’re you even gonna _do_ with the receipt, anyway?”

“If I retain a full account of my monetary resources here, I may be able to receive the equivalent amount back in the future, once I am finished with slaying you.”

“Oh, you’re gonna report to the Church that the Devil King you were sent to kill bummed a bike off you instead?”

You _have_ to admit they wouldn’t really take that seriously.

I glare at you from underneath my parasol.

“I would be happy to spread the word far and wide across the Church that the Devil King is a vile, conniving demon, one not even beneath begging a Church official for a bicycle.”

That would still sound strange to them.

“Hey, you know how politicians and stuff like to pretend they’re all ‘of the people’ and like that, right? I don’t see what’s so wrong about me doing that. Gotta prove that I got my finger on the pulse of the common man, you know? Plus, for me, it’s not even some fake act I’m putting on.”

Yeah, you’re _actually_ dirt poor.

“Hang on, Suzuno. I wanna hit the stationary store.”

I run into the nearby stationary store and purchase some glue.

“What you need glue for?”

Yeah, what are you planning here?

“Hee-hee! How nice of you to ask. Behold!”

I fish a small, red plastic plate from my pocket.

“This is a reflector plate from my beloved Dullahan. The one you crushed into a pulp, if you recall. I pried it off after the cops called me over to haul it away. Kind of a memento, you know?”

So in order to memorialize your beloved Dullahan, you desecrated its corpse?

I use the glue I just purchased to attach this plate to basket of my new bike.

“With this, the soul of Dullahan, the noble steed who gallantly abandoned his life to protect his master, shall survive into the next generation! From this moment forward, you shall be named Dullahan… _II_!”

Would that even do anything? I mean you aren’t using magic or anything right?

Well would it do anything special?

You know, why _not_? Why _wouldn’t_ it do something? Your ritual succeeds in infusing your new Dullahan with the spirit of the old, and you become the first Devil King in history to perform bicycle necromancy.

“…How exciting.”

I know right! I managed to perform necromancy without using any magic.

I’m pretty sure that was sarcasm, dude.

“Are you quite ready then, Devil King? We should go.”

I sigh deeply and continue on my way, not waiting for you to answer. As I walk along, I’m clearly looking peeved.

“…Did that, uh, cost more than you were expecting?”

I sigh again.

“I think I am beginning to understand why Emilia allows you such leeway in this world.”

“Oh?”

“Are you on friendly terms with the owner of that bicycle shop?”

“Yeah. …Well, not really at first. We both met when we kept volunteering for neighbourhood cleanup duty. But his wife liked taking their kid over to MgRonald a lot. We’ve kinda come to know each other a lot more since.”

You know, just when I think you’re not taking this seriously, you go and do something like that.

What do you mean?

You keep track of the NPCs I throw at you, _and_ how well your character is supposed to know them.

Yeah, and? You never know when someone is going to become useful or important.

“I had resigned myself to my fate once you said we were traveling to the bicycle shop today.”

“What d’you mean by that?”

I remove a booklet from my tote bag and hand it to Maou.

“I am referring to the monetary figure that you, the Devil King, would attempt to extort from me. It sent shivers up my spine, to be frank, wondering what exorbitant sum you would ask for. I appreciated, after all, that I did owe you a substantial debt.”

Wait, you were expecting me to ask for _more_ from you?

You did seem to place a great deal of value on Dullahan’s life.

I thumb through the catalogue.

“‘Mountain bike,’ ‘road’-no, ‘load cycle’? Or even one of those wilderness galloping BM-whatevers! I was perfectly expecting one of those to come my way!”

“…You don’t have to pretend you know anything about bikes, Suzuno.”

“Diligent study is the key to life itself! My point is that, even with the antitheft registration, it was… _disarming_ to be asked for only thirty thousand. I had withdrawn two hundred thousand yen from the bank earlier.”

_Holy crap_! How much money do you have?

“Look did you seriously think someone living in abject poverty like I do would ask for a top-of-line bike model? The Dullahan you destroyed goes for 6 980 yen brand-new at the Donkey Hottie Discount Store over in Hounancho.”

Donkey Hottie? _Really_? That evokes images far different from discount stores.

I toss the brochure back at Suzuno.

“The barbarous Devil King is given the chance to make a purchase with a human being’s money. I would have expected anything and everything from you!”

That’s how most PC’s would behave, honestly.

“You could _try_ trusting me a little, man. Or are you just that dead set on the Devil King being a total prick all the time? Besides, no offence to Mr. Hirose or anything, but he doesn’t deal in, like, Tour de France stuff.”

I laugh indifferently.

“But you withdrew two hundred thousand yen? You only just came here, you haven’t worked a single day, and you got that much in your account? ‘Cause, like, I’ve been working this hard and I don’t think my balance has _ever_ gotten past two hundred thousand.”

“Well, unlike yourself and Emilia, I had the time to make ample preparations.”

I shrug.

What _kind_ of preparations? What _did_ you pawn on that day out with Emi?

“Huh. Well, neat. Better keep my pinkies up around you, I guess.”

I pout a bit as I speak.

Don’t think that’s going to get you a handout.

“Anyway, though, thanks. I appreciate this.”

“I-it was restitution. And only that. It is now yours, and you may use it as you wish.”

“Sure thing.”


	3. Chapter 3

What are our surroundings like, anyway? I don’t think either of us asked.

The shops pretty much look the same as they always did, but many of them have bundles of unadorned white tree branches lined up in the middle of the shop space.

“D-Devil King?”

“Yeah?”

I stop and point to my side.

“Wh-what is that? It seems that a great number of establishments have suddenly begun dealing in flowers.”

“Oh, those? Those are ogara sticks.”

Okay…

“Ah, I see. So is that a dried version of the remnants you’re left with after preparing tofu?”

“…What? Oh, uh…”

I think you misheard me.

“No, that’s called okara. I’m talking about ogara. O-Ga-Ra. Ogara sticks, all right?”

“Ah, right! Perhaps we could have some okara croquettes for dinner tonight.”

“Jeez, Suzuno, what are you, some kind of housewife?”

And what is with this fixation with okara?

“I have to hand it to the chefs and cooking experts of Japan. Croquettes are a wonderful cuisine indeed, but using the okara usually disposed of during the tofu-making process to create a lovely low-cost, low-calorie foodstuff was a stroke of genius!”

Are you done singing the praises of croquettes now?

“Look, the Obon holiday is coming up, yeah? Those ogara are used to light the mukaebi and okuribi, the fires that’re meant to welcome in and see off the spirits of the dead that visit during the holiday.”

I point at another bundle as I speak.

I notice Maou and Suzuno in the crowd and approach them.

Roll perception.

3.

5.

You are both too absorbed in your conversation to notice her.

“Obon… Ah, yes, the festival when families offer their respects to their ancestors, yes? But that begins in the month of August, does it not?”

“Yep. It used to be celebrated in the seventh month of the old Japanese calender, which is August nowadays. But in the Tokyo area people light those mukaebi fires to bring in the spirits in July. That’s what those sticks are for.”

“Hohh! I had thought this nation was rather secular by nature. Perhaps these traditions are more a part of the culture’s fabric than I anticipated.”

“But, why does the Tokyo holiday come sooner, then?”

“Well there’s a few different theories, but back when Japan switched to the Western calendar and the shogunate moved their ceremonies to the same dates on the new calendar, it was really just the Tokyo area that followed suit. The rest of the country didn’t so much. Kinda weird to do things the same time for hundreds of years and then get told you have to start doing it some other time from now on, after all.”

“I see. Interesting.”

You did a lot of research, yourself.

“Wowww…”

“Most people in Japan get time off of work around the middle of August for Obon, you know? But the government at the time had the strongest grip on power in Tokyo and part of the Kanagawa area, so only those parts switched over to the seventh month of the new calender. Everyone else celebrated Obon the same time as before - the seventh month of the old calendar, or August.”

“…You’ve done your research, I see.”

“You sure know a lot for being Devil King and all, Maou!”

“Yeah, I kinda read up on that stuff last year. Not that it’s much more than trivia these days, but…um?”

“Hmmm?”

“Yes?”

We both turn around slowly, finally noticing you.

“Aghh!! J-jeez, Chi, when did you show up?!”

“Chiho! Since when were you there?!”

I’m carrying a silver-coloured portable cooler instead of the bookbag I normally have.

“Did I surprise you?”

I smile in triumph.

“I got you back for what you did to _me_ before, Suzuno! …Of course, all I got to hear was about how you were going to make okara croquettes for dinner, but…”

“Ohhh… Ha-ha! Neat. But you’re out of school already? That’s kind of early.”

“It’s all half-days ’til summer break. All our final exams are over so…”

How did Chiho do her exams with all this supernatural stuff going on?

Clearly she has nerves of steel.

“Ooh, new bike?”

“Yep. Suzuno kind of trash-compacted my old one.”

I lovingly pat Dullahan II’s saddle.

“The Devil King said he had found a worthy bicycle. I have merely paid for it. But enough of me. What brings you here, Miss Sasaki?”

“Oh, I was about to buy what you were talking about.”

I point at a shop between the two of you.

“Ogara?”

“Yep! My mom asked to. And I was planning to visit your apartment after that, so…”

I raise one of my shoulders upward to highlight the cooler hanging from it.

“One of my dad’s relatives gave us some ice cream, but neither of my parents have much of a sweet tooth. But we have a ton, so I thought maybe I’d give some of it to you guys.”

“Ice cream?! Seriously?! Are you sure?! Man, that’s awesome! We’ll take it, we’ll take it! Thank you so much!”

Why so excited for ice cream?

Because we never get it. There’s no way Ashiya would allow them to.

“Oh, good! So give me just one second, all right? I need to buy that ogara.”

I watch the scene.

“…Should I just leave him as he is? Would that hurt anyone?”


	4. Chapter 4

“Ice cream?”

“Ice cream?!”

“And…and, and it’s a premium gift pack from Haggen-Boss?! Are-are you truly sure about this?!”

Okay, it’s official, you all suck at naming things.

I take off my shoulder-bag cooler and point it towards Ashiya.

“Don’t worry about it, Ashiya. We still have more than enough back home.”

I fall to my knees.

“I…I could hardly begin to thank you and your parents enough, Ms. Sasaki…”

I bow my head deeply.

Meanwhile, I’ve made my way over to the cooler.

“Ooh, wow, look at all the flavours in there! C’mon, Ashiya, let’s do this! Get the spoons out!”

“Urushihara… You know there’s something you need to say to Chi first.”

Yes, kowtow before me like your fellow.

What exactly about my character makes you think he _ever_ would?

Fiiiiiine.

“Oh, it’s fine, Maou. I know how Urushihara acts by now.”

I smile bitterly to myself and lightly pat Chiho on the shoulder.

“Yeah… Well, anyway, thanks. Really.”

“…! Um…uh, Yeah. You’re welcome. Um… Oh! Suzuno, we should let Suzuno have some…”

I’m not in the room.

“Huh?”

“You looking for her? She went right back out once we got here.”

“Oh… Really?”

I’ve opened the cooler and am going though it’s contents.

“Wow, strawberry, green tea, mint… Daaaaang, dude, is this pumpkin? Whoa!”

I begin to help myself to some choice flavours.

“Whoa whoa whoa! Save some for Suzuno, Urushihara!”

“Aww! Who cares about about Bell, dude? Finders keepers, losers weepers!”

What are you, _twelve_? I puff up my cheeks in anger and reclaim one of the half-pints in your arms.

“Either she gets some, or _you_ don’t get any! How many of these were you planning to eat, anyway? You’re gonna get brain freeze!”

“Dude, I’m not a child, okay? I’m, like, several million years older than you!”

Several million? How _old_ is Lucifer?

Old.

You never bothered to come up with an actual number?

He’s so old he just lost count of his own age at some point.

  


You never bothered to come up with an actual number.

“Years don’t matter with you, Urushihara! You’re still a child! Even a grade-schooler would be a lot nicer than you!”

“Guys, can you keep it down? It’s too hot to be yapping at each other.”

I pick up the cooler and hand it to Ashiya.

“Let’s just take one each and leave the rest for later, okay? Nobody’s gonna mind if we give the vanilla to Suzuno, right?”

“Absolutely, Your Demonic Highness.”

I deferentially accept the cooler, give Chiho another bow and begin stacking the cups in the freezer.

“Oh, come _onnnn_. Just one?”

You can have none.

Just pick a flavour.

…Strawberry.

“Why do we hafta leave any for Suzuno? She’s our mortal enemy and stuff.”

“U. Ru. Shi. _Haaaa_. Ra?!”

“Wh-what, Chiho Sasaki?! She’s kinda _your_ rival, too, dude! In a lot of different ways!”

“Well…yes! She, she is! She’s my rival, _and_ my friend!”

“Huhh? What’s _that_ s’posed to mean?”

“I mean the rival thing’s _one_ thing, but the ice cream’s _another_! That’s why you’re a child, Urushihara! You don’t even understand _that_!”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, _I’m_ the child and that’s why it’s all my fault, huh? No way I’d ever understand some crazy girl acting all jealous of-“

I slap you upside the head.

“- _oww_!”

“That’s enough, Urushihara! If you dare to pelt our kind and generous guest with any more verbal abuse, I’m confiscating that strawberry cup and cancelling our Internet!”

That seems a bit harsh, don’t you think?

“A demon like you, eating all our food, wasting all our money, not lifting a finger to help out around the Castle…I would put Crestia and the Church-anointed food she’s poisoning us with over you any day of the week! And now you berate Ms. Sasaki, a walking saint who’s provided nothing but support to His Demonic Highness and sincerely cares about the state of our Castle! The gods above may forgive you, be never shall I!”

Woah okay… I take a step backwards.

“A-all right, all right… Man, that teenage girl’s got you whipped. Maou, too.”

I have one hand on my head and the other on the strawberry cup as I return to my desk.

“Now then, Ms. Sasaki… Please, come over here. There’s a bit more of a breeze closer in. I have some barley tea to drink.”

“You know, I thought it would be hotter in here, but this apartment gets a pretty good breeze, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess that kind of saves all our hides, huh? We got the corner room, so there’s a few more windows than normal.”

“Maouuuuu, are we really not gonna buy an AC unit this year?”

Maybe if you stopped spending all our finances, we could afford one.

“I told you, man. We can’t contact the landlord, and we can’t afford to install at anyway. Besides, if we bought some cheapo AC, the electric bill next month would kill me.”

“Barrrrfffff…”

“I’m not really a fan of air-conditioning myself. They have AC in the classrooms at school, but whenever we’re done with gym class or whatever, someone always turns it, like, all the way down. It’s freezing!”

“Indeed, the greatest achievements of civilization wield the power to destroy all of us. The mere thought of the electricity bill is enough in and of itself to send shivers up my spine!”

That would be what concerns you the most.

“Yeah, I can totally picture the guy, too. Probably never shuts up, I bet, huh? Then, if you turn up the thermostat at all, he’s probably like ‘Ohhh, it’s so hot, it’s so hot!’ and turns it back down the moment no one’ paying attention.”

“Yes! Exactly!”

I nod eagerly.

“I’m pretty familiar with guys like that. It’s like their mind is always short-circuiting on them. They just want satisfy their urges _right now_ without thinking of the consequences. And they’re _always_ the biggest loudmouths, too.”

“Right, right! Wait…”

“Hmm?”

“How do you know all that, Maou? You didn’t actually go to school in Japan or anything, right?”

“Nope.”

“It always seems like we’ve had a lot of the same experiences, but…you know, that’s kinda strange when you think about it, right?”

Yes, it is Maou, care to explain?

“Yeah… I guess, so, maybe. I guess you could say that demons have more…forceful ways of solving their problems. But stuff like that… I guess it’s not much different between humans and us.”

Nice save.

“…Ugghh, one of those little cups isn’t enough…”

My eyes swivel towards the refrigerator.

Just then I walk past your apartment.

“Oh? Hey, Suzuno, where’d you go? Chi wanted you to have some ice-cream, too.”


	5. Chapter 5

I’m carrying a set of large objects in front of me.

“Ah, my thanks to you. I will gladly partake of it once I am finished with this task.”

“…Hey, what’s that?”

“Hmm? Logs. Why do you ask?”

“I can see that. I was asking what you’re gonna do with it.”

“As a member of the Church’s Missionary Office, I have an interest in this Obon holiday. I decided it would be best to experience it for myself.”

“…And?”

What does this have to do with you carrying logs around?

“And to begin with, I have to light the mukaebi, yes? And then the smoke from this fire will attract the spirits of one’s ancestors back down to earth?”

None of _your_ ancestors were ever on Earth to begin with.

I beckon you into the apartment.

I knit my brows and open the door.

“What? They say it is best to do the task while the sun is in the air, so I wanted to handle it as soon as-“

I karate chop you on the head.

“- _ow_!”

You know, you’re all lucky I know you’re doing that for flavour, and don’t make you roll damage for these things. Someone would roll a crit, and next thing ya know, you have a dead body on your hands.

“Wh-what are you doing?!”

“Are you trying to burn this apartment down?! ‘Cause you’ve got _way_ too much fuel for the job!”

My eyes well up.

“I was hardly going to burn all of this! The logs are so that I can build a fire pit in the back garden! I am only going to burn this set of ogara, and…”

I unleash a second karate chop.

“Ow! H-how dare you strike me while my hands are full!”

“That’s even worse! You saw Chi buy just one little bundle of them! And now you’re building a fire pit in our yard?! How many ancestors’re you trying to get over here?! You’re not making a campfire!”

Well, my ancestors do have a longer trip to make than most.

“Hey, let’s just calm down a sec, okay? I’ve got some vanilla ice cream for you, Suzuno.”

“It shall be mine!”

Woah, woah, it’s just ice cream.

You don’t have any room to talk.

I take the ice cream, and top it using some supplies from my room. I savour it a moment before returning to the previous matter.

“Well, how are you supposed to light a mukaebi, then?! As far as I saw in my research, there are monks that build these enormous fires! Vast pyres of flame, set ablaze in pits lined with straw from the makomo rice plant!”

“Ashiya.”

“Yes! Right here.”

I snap my fingers, silently requesting the horoku and some supplies to start a fire.

I bring forth the requested items.

“You can buy all this stuff at the hundred-yen store, by the way. They throw in the newspaper for free to pack the dish in. This is a horoku, by the way, a clay pan you roast tea in.”

I take a single bundle of ogara out of the the pile Suzuno brought in and step outside the room.

“And the ogara here is ninety yen a bundle at the place Chi it from. So we’re talking no more than two hundred yen for the whole thing.”

I head outside, climbing down the stairway. 13.

I follow you, crestfallen. 17.

I follow you as well. 12.

I place the dish on the ground near the front gate, and use the bundle of ogara to fill it.

You still have about a third left over.

I pass that to Suzuno. I then use the lighter to light one of the pieces of newspaper.

“…Ta-dah! That’s the easiest way to light a mukaebi.”

“…What?”

“By the way, if you live in a housing complex like this, make sure you do it outside, all right? Otherwise it might set off the smoke detector. Any questions?”

I alternate my gaze between you and the tiny fire in the dish.

“…Simply ridiculous. The mukaebi is a cherished family ceremony, meant to attract the souls of one’s revered ancestors. You dare to call this simple, plain affair a ceremony?”

“Well, like, what do you want? I mean, this is kind of _it_ , you know? Right?”

What else were you expecting?

Given her preparations, an inferno.

“It _was_ kind of plain, yes, but there’s nothing wrong with what he did. It’s best if you can use a flame from one of the lantern they put out for Obon, or from temple dedicated to revering the dead, but that’s easier said than done here in the city. Oh, also…”

I hunch over the dish.

“You put your hands together like this, and then you pray for your ancestors to return home without getting lost.”

“And…is that all?”

“That, and if you have a butsudan, those little shrines people have in their homes sometimes, you can make a little horse out of a cucumber and put it there.”

“Oh, yeah we make that every year at my place.”

“Out…out of a cucumber? Wh-what in Heaven’s name is _that_?”

A fruit, though many people would call it a vegetable.

Ha, ha. You know what I meant.

“So when Obon is over, you have to build an okuribi, a fire to lead your ancestors’ souls back to the afterlife. But one thing you do for the mukaebi is take a cucumber, stick some toothpick legs on it so it looks like a horse, and stick it in your shrine. That encourages your ancestors to ride it, so they’ll come to the fire more quickly. Then when it’s over, you make a cow for them out of an eggplant, and that way they’ll ride that and go back a lot more slowly.”

I nod my agreement at every major point.

I bring a hand to my temple and groan.

“…I have encountered a vast range of religions in my time, but a ceremony like this one is rare. Never has something so simple seemed so complex to me…or vice versa.”

“Well, if you wanted to get _real_ with it, you’d do stuff like line up a bunch of candles down the road, or build a really big fire like you were trying to do. But here in the middle of the city, this is about all you’re gonna get. Some Buddhist sects don’t even do any of this, and besides, there aren’t too many places around here we can go lighting fires. If you wanna see the whole shebang, you could always hit up one of the countryside festivals somewhere in August.”

“Wow. You sure know your stuff, Maou.”

I didn’t think you’d’ve gone _that_ in depth with your research.

“Yeah, well, you should’ve seen some of the other crap I tried last year while I was trying to regain my demonic force. I was hoping maybe some demon would catch my mukaebi and come on down, for example.”

And that was one of the better plans.

“But it’s not like any of my ancestors are here on Earth anyway. Kind of a waste of fire, you know?”

“You speak as if your ancestors would be awaiting you in your realm.”

I wince at your remark.

“Pft. D’you think the stork delivers demon babies to the underworld or something? I’ve got parents and family lines just like everyone else.”

“Parents…? You?”

“‘Course, they’re both gone now. So…like, if you’re asking whether I wanna light a mukaebi and get ‘em over here, honestly, I don’t really care.”

Your poor parents.

“Oh… Kind of a sad thing to say, though, just like that.”

“Well, what, you think we’re the kind of goody-goody demons who leave flowers on their family grave or something?”

The way you worded that makes it sound like there are actually demons like that.

“Even if they had one, I’d have no idea where it is. I hardly even remember anything about my parents.”

“R-really…? Um, I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Nah, nah. _I’m_ the one going on about it. Anyway.”

I lean towards Chiho and the dish and fan the flickering flame.

“Don’t forget to take care of the fire once it’s out. In the real ceremony, you’re supposed to put it out with water droplets collected lotus leaves, but you should still have a bucket of tap water handy just in case. You can toss the ashes into a potted plant or in the burnable garbage.”

“…Hardly one iota of emotion to it, I see. I feel as if I’ve gained insight into the spiritual contradictions that drive modern Japan.”

“Hey, when in Rome. Think of it as me keeping an open mind, huh? Hey, you mind filling a bucket with water for me?”

“Hey! Maou!”

I stick my face out the Devil’s Castle door.

“We got trouble comin’ on your six!”


	6. Chapter 6

“Trouble?”

I look quizzically upstairs.

“What kind of _trouble_ , exactly?”

“Oh, good day, Yusa!”

“Ah, Emilia! Oh, is that time already?”

Huh?

I’m holding an unopened solar umbrella in one hand and a paper bag in the other. I level the tip of my umbrella at Maou and brush him out of the way.

“Lucifer! How did you know I was coming?! You didn’t stick another one of your GPS transmitters somewhere, did you?!”

“N-no! Nothing like that! I just saw you in the camera I installed outside! Dude, chill out a bit, okay? We got ice cream!”

‘Chill out’ is just about the _worst_ thing you can say to someone who’s mad at you, fyi.

“I am as ‘chill’ as the coolest, freeze-dried, most ice-covered cucumber in the universe! And I’ll be even ‘chiller’ once I’ve finally slain you all!” 

“N-no, really! I’m not lying! Look!”

Like I’d really try that again after you almost killed me last time! I run into the apartment and grab the camera and a cup of mint ice cream before coming back out, waving them both in the air so Emi can see them.

I immediately focus on the ice cream before shifting my view to the camera. Then I turn sharply to Chiho and Suzuno.

“Hey there, Chiho. Is that your ice cream?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. We got this huge gift set, but my mom and dad aren’t into sweets at all.”

“…Makes sense. Not like these vagrants would ever be ahead of the game enough to buy Haggen-Boss.”

“Do you even realize how small that makes you look? Rating how successful a guy is by whether he buys dessert or not?”

I pay you no mind, and take out a handkerchief and begin dabbing my face with it.

“The mint-flavour Haggen-Boss is only sold as part of those gift boxes. You’re never gonna see them individually. Boy, I can just _imagine_ the tears of joy you all must have shed the moment Chiho gave that to you. I’m sure the demon realms would be shocked and horrified to see _that_ , hmm? Whether you’re the Devil King or not, I would hardly call that ‘ahead of the game’.”

Lots of things about their lives these days would shock and horrify the demon realms.

“…I’m sorry, Maou. I can’t really defend against that.”

I bow my head in apology to you.

“…So you here to gawk at our abject poverty, or what? Sitting in your stupid air-conditioned office all day, your stupid air-conditioned apartment all night… You’ve got the biggest carbon footprint for a Hero ever!”

“Well, sorr-ee. The AC came preinstalled, so it’d be a waste not to use it, right? It’s a pretty new energy-saving model, too, and I got it set set to eighty-two degrees, no matter how hot it gets outside. I don’t think you’ve got any right to complain.”

Can I complain about our lack of AC now?

No.

“Ugh! Dammit! You’re so obviously trying to lord it over me with you middle-class-ness!”

I stamp my feet, frustrated.

Why is it that, Chiho, who is a _teenager_ , is more mature than the centuries old demons here?

What did I do?

I turn towards Suzuno.

“Are you all set? Sorry I’m a little early.”

“Ah. my apologies. Give me just one moment. I will make my preparations shortly.”

I begin to scurry off towards the stairway.

“Oh, wait. Before that…”

I stop you and hand you my paper bag. Over the lip you can see a box of energy drinks.

“Ah, yes… Is this the supply we discussed?”

“Yep. Two bottles per day, okay? These are valuable, so don’t lose ‘em.”

“…What kind of secret smuggling operation is this?”

We both glare at you.

“Be _especially_ careful with him.”

“There is no need to remind me.”

“Hey!”

I grit my teeth at the two of you.

“I don’t remember doing anything that’d make you think I was going to rummage through her stuff!”

Now if we were talking about Urushihara…

Hey!

“I think that would be one of the _least_ despicable things you’ve ever done.”

“Despicable? How could you call me that? I made it up to assistant manager in less than a year!”

“I don’t think that’s what she’s talking about, Maou.”

Not everything is about your _job_ , you know.

“Are you going somewhere with Suzuno, Yusa?”

“Mm-hmm. We’re gonna look at some appliances and phones.”

“Appliances and phones?”

“Indeed. It seems I am destined for an extended stay here, so I need shore up the necessities of daily life, but it seems my pretrip research was a tad behind the times. I thought it best to have Emilia accompany me in case I find myself at sea midway.”

“Ohh, I get it.”

“Not that she’d have to stay if I could ever get around to slicing that destitute Devil King in two.”

Or you _could_ just give up on slicing up the destitute Devil King at _all_.

“…Of course, I guess I already said I wouldn’t be doing that anytime soon. And since I’m not the kind of Hero to break a promise, I’ll just have to station her here until I figure out a Plan B, you know?”

And it’s _only_ my promise to Chiho that is keeping you in one piece, just so we’re clear.

“Uh…yes.”

“Ha-ha-ha!”

Why are you laughing? Has the thought of murdering me gotten funny for you now?

“Oh, I’m sorry. It’s all right. I’m not gonna do it right in front of you or anything, Chiho.”

It really seems like I’m the only thing keeping you alive.

“…I’m a bit concerned about what you’ll do when I’m _not_ there, but…”

I chuckle a bit.

“Well, I suppose that depends on how the Devil King acts, hmm?”

“Gah! There…there isn’t a Devil King out there as meek and diligent and environmentally conscious as I am! And I don’t even care a little bit about whatever kind of illegal drug handoff you just did right in front of me! So rest easy and get the hell out of here!”

I shoo Emi away with both arms.

“You don’t find that embarrassing at all? Trying to convince your mortal enemy that you’re a meek, diligent, environmentally conscious Devil King?”

“My aim is to be Devil King I don’t have to be embarrassed about, man!”

“Huh. If anything, maybe the people of Ente Isla should be embarrassed about how much trouble they had finishing you off.”

I shrug in an exaggerated manner before looking down at the nearly extinguished fire at my feet.

“…That, and what’re you doing, starting a fire in this heat? I noticed the smoke on the way here. I thought maybe you were burning something.”

“Uh…”

“About that…”

“You weren’t aware, Emilia?”

We all exchange glances.

“…You really don’t know? Man, way to give ammo to all the old folks living around here. I can just hear ‘em now: ‘Kids these days! So ungrateful!’”

“…I’m sorry, Yusa. I can’t defend against _that_.”

“So be it. I will explain to her later.”

“Uh? …Uhhhh?”

Why are you all focusing on me not knowing what the ogara is? 

“Regardless, Emilia, I thank you for this donation. I will be ready in just one moment.”

I turn towards the stairwell.

As you do so, the last piece of ogara fizzles out, and a bright light materializes directly above the clay dish that once held it.


	7. Chapter 7

“Oh?”

“Huh?”

“Wha?!”

“Yaghh!”

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa!”

“Oh, crap!”

I grab Chiho and drag her towards the apartment’s sole tree.

The light from the Gate is now so bright that it is becoming difficult to keep your eyes open.

I continue to stare at the Gate anyway.

Why?

There might be something coming out, which it would be useful to see.

Your eyesight, I guess.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Congratulations, your decision to stare directly into a very bright light has caused you to be temporarily blinded.

“Grab onto something! It’s a Gate!”

“What?!”

I quickly grab the handrail.

So do I.

“Which way’s it going? In, or out?!”

Those of you who still have your sight can barely make out a dark outline that seems to be coming out of the Gate.

“Something’s coming out!”

Realizing this Gate won’t be able to suck Chiho into it I release her, but keep her behind me.

“…What _is_ that?”

It’s still to far away to tell for certain, but it doesn’t appear resemble either a human, demon or an angel.

“It…it’s not a human or a demon!”

The approach of the silhouette is accompanied by the dimming of the light of the Gate.

Can we make out what it is now?

Yep, it’s….a giant golden apple.

What?

An apple? Seriously?

….Um…maybe getting smashed before writing out the campaign wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had…I’ll try and work this out, you just interact with your magical fruit for a while.

“Some kind of fruit…? No, that couldn’t…”

“It’s pretty big…”

The Gate closes and the apple lands in the ashes of the ogara.

“Man oh man…”

“Whoa whoa whoa.”

“Ah! Ah…ah…”

I pick up the apple.

It’s heavy enough that it takes two hands for you to do so.

I move the dish into the corner to prevent it from being broken.

I use my handkerchief to rub the remaining ash off the apple.

While all of you are doing that, my sudden blinding has caused me to collapse and begin thrashing around in the apartment’s doorway.

“My eyes! My eyes!”

Your sudden shouting brings us to attention.

The combination of this and the light from the Gate prompts me to head towards the doorway.

“What are you yelling about Urushihara?!”

“Dude, my eyes!”

While approaching the doorway, Alciel manages to kick you.

“Agh!”

“Q-quit squirming around on the floor! I may wind up kicking you!”

“You already _did_ kick me!”

“And that’s what you get for lying around by the front door!”

I notice the giant apple in my king’s hands.

“…Your Demonic Highness, what is that enormous fruit in your hands?”

Anyone want to eat it?

I shudder to think what side effects the GM would come up with if we ate a magical apple that just fell out of the sky.

“Is that…really an apple?”

“I guess it could be a pear, depending on how you look at it…but…”

“…They don’t grow ‘em this big. Not even back in the demon realm. Don’t tell me this is demon shaped like an apple or something. Someone could’ve at least stuck a shipping label on this thing for us…”

There’s demons that can turn into plants?

Yep, they tend to look like humanoid gnarled trees, though.

“Ugh. Give me a break. How many times _is_ this now? Something incredibly weird happening whenever the Devil King and the Hero are in the same place?”

Yeah, it’s almost like you’re both PC’s and the GM wants most of the party to know about the plot of the campaign or something.

“It’s barely been a week since the whole thing with Sariel! I swear, nothing good ever happens around you!”

“I echo that right back at you, lady.”

You’re the one who decided they wanted to play a Lawful Good character it what was up until that point an Evil campaign. And then killed two fifths of the party.

“Besides, most of this recent crap was set off by you humans, wasn’t it?!”

“Ngh…”

“Yes…well, my apologies.”

Thank you.

“I mean, did you even think there’s a demon out there right now who can open a Gate as blinding as that one?!”

I can think of one.

That’s ominous, given it’s coming from _you_.

“It’s probably some troublemaker from the Heavens again, no doubt! So here! Take it! Why don’t you stick it in the fridge for a few hours so it’s nice and cold before you dig in?!”

I bring the apple closer to Emi.

“What are you, stupid?! We’re about to go shopping downtown! How’re we gonna carry _that_ thing around?!”

“I don’t care! That’s _your_ problem! You’re the one skulking around me and getting all up in my business all the time! You weirdo stalker Hero!”

“How… How dare you call me a stalker! If you weren’t a demon, do you even think I’d even _dream_ of hanging around you, you Devil Welfare King?!”

“Ngh… Just shut up! Look at you, dressed up like you’re CEO of the world or something! Stupid Business Casual Hero!”

Is that the apple of discord you just dropped on us? Because it’s having that effect.

Hold on, hold on, I’m almost done working through this.

“Well, a lady like you, you’d need to wear a kid-sized UniClo sports bra! Flattest Hero Ever, am I right?!”

“That’s _it_! I’m gonna hack you apart right wear you stand!”

Whoa! What about that last comment set you off?

I’ve made it perfectly clear that is a sore spot with my character, it’s not my fault you apparently failed to pick up on that.

“Uh-ah-whoa, wait a second, Emi! People’re gonna notice! C’mon, no holy sword! Please, we can talk this out!”

“Silence, fool!! My power shall smite all demonic perversions!!”

I summon the Better Half to my hand.

“Agh! Ahhh, ahh, ah, are you serious, Emi?!”

“My liege!”

Alarmed by the sight of the Hero summoning her holy sword move to protect my king.

Stairs.

5.

As you are still wearing your indoor slippers, your feet find no traction on the steps, causing you to fall downward.

“Ah, ah, aahhhhhhh?!”

“Oh, good job, twinkletoes.”

I don’t see _you_ even attempting to aid our king in any way, despite the fact your sight has obviously returned, so kindly shut up.

“Hmm? Where’s Chiho Sasaki?”

I’m staring into the distance under the tree, apparently oblivious to what is going on around me.

I shrug quizzically at the sight.

Aren’t you still lying down?

“You my full permission. Slay him.”

“Hey! Don’t add gas to the fire! Stop her for me!”

Might I remind you Suzuno would be perfectly happy to see you dead?

“…Oh, dammit, you’re on Emi’s side, that’s right! Crap!”

“Devil King! Prepare to die!”

I begin an overhead swing designed to vertically cleave you in two.

I heft the apple between me and your sword.

What?

I really can’t do anything else, and it clearly has magically properties of some sort, so hopefully it will save me.

Well, you would be right. The apple spouts a pair of arms and stops Emi’s holy sword in its tracks.

“Huh?”

WHAT?! I thought the point of what you were doing was to make the magical apple thing _less_ insane!


	8. Chapter 8

It was, there is a creature inside the apple that would totally save his life.

“Y-your Demonic Highness…rrngh…”

I address my king as I recover from my fall down the stairs and begin to take in the scene before me.

“Is that…? Uh.”

“Wha…”

“What the hell is _that_?!”

Dare I ask for more details on the arms?

They appear to be those of a human baby, and they for some reason were able to stop your holy sword in it’s tracks.

“Light of Iron!”

Before you ask, whatever this apple is just defended the Devil King, Suzuno would totally see this creature as a threat.

I stagger to my feet, unsure what to do in this situation.

“…Uh, so like, what just happened?”

I’m now on my feet and looking on from atop the stairs.

“M-Maou? I think you, uh, maybe wanna put the apple down for now.”

“The apple…?”

I begin to gradually lower the apple to the ground.

In doing so, you notice the arms it now sports.

“Aghh! What’re _those_?!”

I unceremoniously toss the fruit to the ground.

“Ahh!”

The apple begins to roll towards Emi.

“Ah, ahhhh…!”

I sprint away from it.

The apple curves its path to follow you.

“Yeaaggghhhh! What, what, _stop_ , it!!”

The apple continues to chase you around the apartment’s front yard, before finally settling down right in the middle, still extending it’s pudgy arms towards Emi.

“Hey, uh, Emi, you gotta admit, it’s got its eyes on you, or hands or whatever, man.”

“ _Huff…huff…_ Wh-who does? Get it away from me!”

I dispel Better Half into my body for safekeeping.

Are you afraid the _fruit_ is going to steal it or something?

The arms on the apple slump to the side, as though they are exhausted of power.

“Yaghh! _Now_ what?!”

The apple begins unpeeling itself, revealing the inside to be hollow. And inside the apple was a small girl.

“… _Bipf_!”

Bless you.

That was the girl sneezing, not me.

“… _Bipf_!”

As she sneezes a second time, the discarded skin of the apple forms itself into a dress, fitted snuggly over her. As the dress forms a purple emblem in the shape of a crescent moon appears on her forehead.

“Mm?”

“Ooo!”

The crescent moon disappears, and the girl scratches her forehead were the emblem used to be. She looks at her surroundings for a moment, makes her hands into fists, lays down on the ground….and falls asleep.

“All right… _Hold up_. Wha, what, what on, what kind of, who…”

I’ve actually rendered you in capable of making a coherent comment? This day shall live on in legend.

“How, how, I don’t know, how would I…?”

I begin looking around to see if anyone else just bore witness to this ridiculous scene.

There’s someone headed this direction from the rail station.

“Ma-Maou! Dude, someone’s coming!”

“H-hey, Emi!”

“Wh-what?!”

“Get this…this kid? She’s a child, right? Get her upstairs!”

“Wh-why _me_?!”

“She’s a girl! So’re you! Pick her up! I’ve never carried a human baby before!”

I love how that implies you’ve carried non-human babies before.

“What, you think I have? I mean, I hugged one once, okay, but she hadn’t been lying in dirt when I did!”

“Hero! Devil King! How foolish the both of you are!”

I spring into action, gently picking up the child.

“Ooh, good one.”

“Clerics such as myself must learn how to handle the young for their baptismal ceremony! You! Alciel! I wish to bring her up to Devil’s Castle! Bring some bedding out!”

“D-don’t you order _me_ around, Crestia! Ow ow ow ow…”

I attempt to lurch my way up the stairs. 15.

You manage to climb up without incident.

I follow behind, removing my sandals at the base of the stairs to reduce my chances of slipping on the way up. 13.

You also manage without incident.

“Hey, you go up there, too, Emi! Why’d Suzuno take her sandals off? Bring them up to her!”

“Probably to keep from slipping, I’d guess! …Whoa! Bell! The bag!”

I grab the things Suzuno and I dropped over the coarse of this affair, and climb the stairs. 11.

Your ascent is awkward, but you manage without falling.

“That, and…”

I just noticed, Chiho’s been really silent throughout this whole affair.

“Hey, Chi! Chi, what’s up? I haven’t seen…”

You spot her right where you left her under the tree.

“Huh? Uh…hello? Chi?”

My cheeks are tinged red and I have a content smile on my face.

“Hey, Chi! Chi?”

“…We did it.”

“Huh?”

“Maou… _held_ me. He went up and held me tight. Hee-hee! So tight…”

“Ahhhhhhhh… Hey!”

I clap my hands in front of your face.

“Agh!”

“Please, Chi, back to reality!”

“Ahh! M-Maou! I, uh, I that-!”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry, but we don’t have time to chat about it over coffee, okay? Let’s go back to the Devil’s Castle!”

I grab her hand and begin to drag her towards the stairs.

“Um? Ah, ah, ah! M-Maou! Hand, hand!”


	9. Chapter 9

You know no matter how much ice cream you have your characters eat it’s not going to allow you to escape the reality of this situation, right? The apple girl is still here, sleeping off to one side.

I finish my cup.

“Okay, well, I need to go, so-”

“ _Wait_ a sec!”

I grab your leg before you make your way to the door.

“Hey! Let go of me!”

I attempt to shake him off. 12.

15, you’re not getting away from this that easily.

I point a finger in the air.

“Sshhh! You’re going to wake her, Emilia!”

I meekly sit back down.

And I release your leg.

I keep my voice at whisper so as to not wake the sleeping girl.

“…Bell and I don’t have anything to do with this! You guys figure something out yourselves!”

I’m also whispering.

“…Like hell it doesn’t! That baby girl made a total beeline for you! You have to take her with you! Or at least, stay here, stay here until we figure out what’s going on!”

The GM should reveal it sooner or later.

“Forget it! You know what happens whenever you try to ensnare me in your crap? Nothing _good_ , that’s what! I want out of here, as soon as I possibly can!”

I continue staring into space despite the feud unfolding around me.

“His hands… So _tight _…”__

You sure you want to stick with this apple girl thing? Everyone here seems to be trying to ignore it in their own way.

Hey, it’s spicing up the game isn’t it? Even if the action is all them avoiding the plot as much as they possibly can.

“You think I like this, either? You, constantly butting into my daily life and making me solve all your problems? I’m _sick_ of it!”

What do you mean, ‘solve all your problems’?

Well, every point related thing the GM has thrown at us had been somehow related to _you_ , hasn’t it?

_I_ was more after _you_ , the king who so kindly left me in field to die.

You can let that go at any time, you know.

“Well, you’re sure gonna have to do it now, aren’t you?”

“Like hell I am! You made that mess yourself, lady! And now I’m gonna make you _sleep_ in it!”

“Stop being gross! I always live up to my promises! It’s not _my_ fault if you keep pretending I promised you the world and a half!”

“Will you quit acting like-”

“Both of you, be quiet! You’re going to wake her up!”

“So tight… Maou’s hands… So big…”

“…What happened to Chiho, exactly?”

“She’s been that way ever since we all came in here.”

“Silence, Lucifer. Nobody asked you.”

She’s been revealing in being touched by her crush since the Gate incident.

I groan and put a hand on my hand, since you two are uttering refusing to defuse this situation.

“This is all your fault for lighting that freaky fire anyway! You called her over here like all those customers when you put that dumb tree out at MgRonald!”

“How is _that_ my fault?!”

The GM didn’t ask me for a magic counter or anything when I lit that fire.

“And what’s the tree got to do with it?! You didn’t even know what a mukaebi was! What right do you have to whine at me? That stuff common knowledge in Japan! It’s got nothing to do with me!”

“Hah! I knew it! You really _did_ summon her! Whatever fumes of demonic power you’ve got left must’ve reacted to another traditional Japanese ceremony! You brought her here; _you_ take responsibility!”

What part of ‘the GM didn’t ask me for any counters’ didn’t you understand? No spent counters, no magic.

“What the hell d’you mean by ‘fumes’?! I’ve got a _strategic reserve_ , dammit! You could at least _try_ to help out a little whenever trouble shows up!”

“Help out? As if I’ve never done _anything_ for you before now?!”

“Well? Have you? ‘Cause lately, it’s mostly been you stickin’ your neck in my business and gettin’ nailed to crosses and stuff!”

“ _What_?!”

“You wanna go, or?!”

“Will the two of you shut _up_ already?!”

I summon Light of Iron and aim an attack at both of their heads.

Again, you should be thankful that I’m not making you roll for damage on this.

“Agh! Wait! Sorry!”

“Hey, if you’re trying to be funny, then _rngh_!!”

“Nnnh… Aphh!”

The apple girl sits up, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

Oh, good going, you caused the very thing you were trying to prevent.


	10. Chapter 10

The girl looks around the room before settling her eyes on Maou.

“Uh… Hey.”

“Oooo? …Hell-oooo.”

I approach this strange little girl slowly.

“Y-you can speak Japanese?”

“Mm, a li’l.”

“A little, huh? Hmm. I see.”

I nod distractedly. Anyone else want to help me with the mystery kid.

You seem to be doing a damn good job with her to me. Besides, do you really want me and my junky Charisma to interact with a plot-important _child_ NPC?

Guess not. But I don’t see what’s stopping the rest of you.

“So, uh, what are you?”

“Ooo?”

The girl looks back at you, bewildered. Clearly she does not understand the question.

“No, uh…I mean, your name. What is, uh, your name?”

The girl yawns another yawn before answering.

“Alas Ramus.”

“Alas Ramus?”

“Mm, Alas Ramus… _Bipf_!”

She swivels her head this way and that, taking in her surroundings again.

“Ah!”

We rear back at this sudden burst of activity.

What does the girl look like anyway? I don’t think you’ve mentioned it.

She looks to be about the age of a human one or two years old. Her hair is silver, save for one tuft which is purple at the end. Her eyes are purple as well.

The emblem that was on her forehead isn’t there anymore?

Nope.

“So Alas Ramus, where did you come from?”

“Mm, h…home?”

“Um… Oh, home? Well, yeah, I guess you did come from home…but… Like, where is your house?”

“Hou… House? Don’t know ‘house.’”

Is that really all I get?

What other answer did you expect from a toddler?

“…Do you have a mother or father?”

“Mo…fa?”

Alas Ramus shakes her head, confused.

“Well, I mean…uh, can you tell me about your mommy and daddy, Alas Ramus?”

“Daddy is…Satan.”

“I see, your daddy is Satan. …Wait.”

“Did she…”

“She just said…”

“‘Daddy is Satan’…”

“…Right?”

…I don’t suppose she means a different Satan?

Nope. Congratulations on your new little girl.

_Why_?!

“M-Maou?!”

The sound of this mysterious little girl calling Maou ‘daddy’ is enough to break me out of the stupor I’m been in since she arrived.

“You, you, you had a _child_ , Maou?!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on a sec, Chi!”

Why are you doing this me to me?!

“Is…is it one of those things?! Did you have a wife and kids back when you were Devil King?!”

You know for a fact that I didn’t!

_I_ might know that, but Chiho doesn’t.

“No! Nothing! So just calm down for a bit! I’ve never had anything like that!”

“Is…is that true, Your Demonic Highness?!”

“Oh, come on, Ashiya! Don’t start on me, too!”

Are you punishing me for screwing up your plot one too many times, is that it?

“My liege fathering a child out of wedlock would be earth-shattering news across the demon realms! She must be provided with the most gifted of tutors at once in order to prepare her for the throne! And yet you’ve kept this child from my knowledge for…well, obviously _months/em >, at least! What is the meaning of this?!”_

“Wait! Why is everyone so freakin’ convinced that this is _my_ girl?!”

Well the GM did say that she was, that’s pretty strong evidence.

Their characters don’t know that!

“But, oh, what sort of devilish strumpet did you have liaisons with, Your Demonic Highness?! Our forces were mostly comprised of men, but did this saucy encounter occur before we invaded Ente Isla?!”

Well to be fair, gender ratios in roleplay don’t tend to stop saucy encounters form happening.

You’re not helping!

“No! I’m telling you, it’s not like that!!”

Alas Ramus climbs out from underneath her blanket. She then slowly and tentatively rises to her feet. She then makes an unbalanced dash across the distance between herself and Maou. She then proceeds to bring Maou’s hand to her nose, as if she is smelling it.

“…Daddy.”

She beams widely and hugs you.

Come _on_ , really?! You’re leaving me with no choice but to accept this child as mine.

I retreat to a corner of the room before I get dragged into this mess somehow.

“W-wait! How come you’re so sure I’m your dad?!”

“Daddyyyy.”

“ _Please_ , man, stop throwing any more dynamite into the volcano for me!!”

Was that directed at her, or me?

“W-wait, wait! Who’s your mom, then? Your mom!”

Alas Ramus squints her eyes at your question. She raises one of her arms and points it straight at Emi.

“Mommy.”

“…Eh? Uh… M-m-me?”

What did _I_ do?

“Daddy. Mommy.”

Alas Ramus points at Maou and Emi in that order.

“…………ooh.”

I faint on the spot.

Yeah, I guess Ashiya would find that revelation overwhelming.

I raise from the corner to help him.

“Aghh! Ashiya! Ashiya, don’t conk out on me! You okay?!”

“Yu… Yu, yu, yu, Yusa?”

The ice cream I have been picking at is crushed in my iron grip.

“The Devil King is the father and the Hero is the mother? This is nothing short of a cataclysm…”

Alas Ramus is standing between her parents, waving her arms back and forth gleefully.


	11. Chapter 11

Since you both have rejected her, Alas Ramus launches into a crying fit.

Oh, come _on_.

“Hey… Hey, calm down, Alas Ramus. Your mommy and daddy are right here, all right? Me, and that girl over there.”

I thought we just finished trying to explain how we’re not her parents.

Well that doesn’t seem to have worked, has it?

“Erraaggghhhhhh! Satan, Daddyyyyyaaahhhh!!”

I wish you would stop making those horrible noises.

“Oh, man… Hey, what’re we gonna do about this?”

Anyone?

“Hey, Emi…”

I clap my hands in front of Emi’s face.

“…Hey!”

“Agh!!”

I fall to the floor in surprise.

“Mwaaaammmmiiiiieeeeee!!”

Alas Ramus flies shouting into your arms.

“Weeaaaaannnnngggghhhh!!”

I pull her into my arms, since there’s not really much else I can do.

“Whoa, hey, uh… What am I supposed to do about this?!”

I turn my eyes upward.

We’re all staring at you.

“…Ah! Don’t just _stare_ at me like that! Uggghh… You people haven’t forgotten already, have you? This child stopped my holy sword without a scratch. She can’t be any _regular_ kind of baby, all right?”

“Yes, Emilia, but stating the obvious will do nothing to improve our lot. Think of this child, this mere babe, seeking out the only mother she knows in life.”

“Bell! Quit lecturing me like an advice columnist! This is your problem, too!”

“Weeeaaaannnnhhh!!”

What is it going to take for us to get you to stop screaming?

Stop Alas Ramus from screaming.

“You should be happy for this, Yusa! I almost wish I could take place, even!”

Sure, be my guest, you wrestle with the demon child.

That was an _almost_ , and besides that would probably just illicit more screaming from the GM.

Fine.

“Yeah, I’m sure, Chiho! Probably for different reasons, too, am I right?!”

“Mrraaaammmmiiieeee!!”

“I told you, I’m not your mommy or anything… Please…”

Alas Ramus latches onto your chest and looks up at you.

“Ngh…snif… Mommeee!”

She starts quivering and crying again.

“O-okay, okay… Ugh, what am I gonna do with you…?”

Fine I give up. Wrap my arms around Alas Ramus and give her a full body hug.

“Ennghh… Mommy…uwahhh…”

I release Alas Ramus from the hug, but continue to rug her yellow dress calmingly.

“So…what’re we going to do now?”

“What? I dunno, what _are_ we gonna do?”

“I asked first!”

“Not that it matters, but you sure give a mean hug, you know that?”

I mean you managed to make that ungodly screeching stop.

“…You realize that’s just tightening the noose around my neck, right?”

“Hey, uh, if I could ask a question, how come that girl knew Maou was Satan? I mean, _I’m_ one thing, but Maou as a human looks pretty different from his demon days.”

“Don’t ask me.”

That’s a question for the GM.

Who doesn’t give away all information for free.

“She smelled my hand just now, but maybe there’s something about that only she could tell, or something.”

“The only thing she could’ve smelled from your hand was MgRonald fry oil.”

“So what? That smells _great_!”

Uh…

“…But, man, I guess we’re stuck with this, huh?”

“I know!”

I raise my hand.

“This must be imprinting, right? She must think Maou and Yusa are her parents because those are the first people she saw.”

I shake my head in response.

“It kinda looked that way, yeah, but she wouldn’t have instinctively known my name, too. She said ‘Satan,’ and I _know_ that apple wasn’t around to hear that. Or did she?”

“Oh…guess not.”

Still it was a fairly good guess.

“I mean, Satan is a pretty common name to give a demon where I come from, but she just plopped right down here and called me Satan. I kinda doubt she’s referring to anyone else.”

She wasn’t. You are the Satan she is looking for.

“So…so do you have any recollection of Alas Ramus at all, then, Maou?!”

“Chi, Chi-this isn’t a custody battle.”

“It strikes my curiosity to hear that Satan is a common name in the demon realms…but what are you trying to say?”

I nod.

“Well, here’s the simplest theory. Somebody did up Alas Ramus into that protective apple thing and sent her over to me. And…”

“…And whether that somebody’s friend or foe, we should probably expect a visit soon. Right?”


	12. Chapter 12

“Yep. Pretty much. And I hate to say it, but you’re probably involved in this as much as I am, too. No way that girl’s got any demon in her.”

“…Thanks for reminding me. I feel bad for Chiho alone, though… getting her involved in all of this.”

“Don’t say ‘alone.’ How ‘bout expanding that to us, huh?”

I meant that we keep getting Chiho involved in Ente Isla matters. Besides Emi wouldn’t feel one jot sorry for causing you trouble.

“W-wait, what do you mean? I don’t get what you mean by ‘Yusa’s probably involved."

I look at Alas Ramus.

“This kid stopped my sword. She reacted to me when I had my holy sword out. That much is all I need to know. You remember how Sariel wanted his hands on my sword, Chiho. Sariel never said why he wanted the holy sword so badly. And no way am I gonna let him have it-not as long as the penniless Devil King still lives and breathes. And now, with all those questions still unanswered, we have this kid who could stop a holy sword. I’d be crazy to think that _wasn’t_ related somehow.”

Especially given the GM’s reaction to my character ignoring that particular point. And also…

“Hey, stop weaving little slams against me into your long-winded diatribes, all right?”

“Oh, speaking of which, how’s Sariel been the past few days?”

Excellent question, really. GM?

Phone.

“He’s gaining a lot of weight.”

“Huh?”

“Well, I mean, he’s going to MgRonald multiple times a day so he can see Ms. Kisaki. And he orders a supersize combo every time! I can totally tell Ms. Kisaki’s just acting nice ‘cause he’s helping her reach our sales targets. But anyway, you’d be amazed how much of a gut’s starting to show after just a week.”

And Sariel’s been hanging around the MgRonald _because_?

He’s smitten with Ms. Kisaki. So he made his cover story of being the manager of the Sentucky Fried Chicken his permanent gig.

“…Well. I don’t know if that slopeheaded angel is involved with this or not, but if we get in any more trouble, the farther away _he_ is from it, the better. That guy routinely gets in my way, after all.”

“I…I doubt that Sariel is directly related to Alas Ramus, regardless of his past behaviour.”

What makes you say so?

“He most certainly did not use up his holy magic powers in our previous battle. He remains here by his own free will. If he and Alas Ramus were aware of each other, he would have come to us at once.”

Just to be safe, I turn the surveillance webcam.

I peek out the kitchen window.

I shoot a glance out the front door.

“Besides, ‘Alas Ramus’ means nothing in the heavenly tongues. It is human-the very language spoken in Ente Isla.”

“Oh?”

You would know that how, exactly?

As Suzuno is part of the missionary branch of the Church, I was allowed to look at the GM’s language notes.

“‘Alas’ means ‘wing’. ‘Ramus' means ‘branch’.” Both are terms from Centurient, a language used only in Isla Centurum.”

And by Centurient, you mean Latin, right?

Huh?

Alas meaning wing, Ramus meaning branch, that’s Latin.

…I’m not Tolkien, okay?

“This tells me that there is a set of parents somewhere in Ente Isla, a mother and father who loved their child enough to give her such a deeply meaningful name. Whether they are human or angel, I cannot say. I sincerely doubt she is demonic in origin, but…”

“So how ‘bout I summarize everything we know? We’ve got this kid, Alas Ramus, whom we know nothing about. And we’ve got no way to respond. We just have to wait for this friend, or foe, or whomever to show up.”

“Yeah, so basically, that brings us back to the first problem, who’s gonna take care of the girl?”

“Did she fall asleep? She’s been pretty quiet.”

Yeah, the GM hasn’t made a horrible screeching noise in a while.

“…I just hope this little girl isn’t wrapped up in some kind of weird conspiracy.”

I pat her back as she rests.

Given the fact that the GM had her literally fall out of the sky in front of you, I wouldn’t hold out any hope.

I lean in and pinch one of her cheeks.

“Don’t do that! We just got her asleep.”

Please.

“Aww, you really got it good, Yusa…”

My cheeks puff up in a possessive rage as the jealousy within me begins to bubble to the surface.

“Chiho, Chiho, your feelings are painted on your face!”

I sigh.

“Well, I can’t take her in. I’m a single woman with a job. I can’t watch over her all day.”

“Perhaps, but having another mouth to feed within the Devil’s Castle will stretch our finances to bursting. Plus, as three men under one roof, I feel we are ill-suited for the business of child-rearing.”

And one of us does little else besides eat us out of house and home anyway.

“I’m sorry… I really want to help you out, but I don’t know how I could get my mom and dad on my side.”

Yeah, I guess they wouldn’t react too well to Chiho suddenly bringing home an infant.

“There is no need to feel tormented, Chiho. This, after all, is an Ente Isla matter.”

I place a reassuring hand on Chiho’s shoulder.

“Seeing a young abandoned child go from home to hone through no fault of her own would be difficult indeed to stomach. I would certainly not mind taking her in. I am not particularly employed at the moment…and I have experience with great numbers of children from the past.”

It’s settled then, Suzuno takes the baby.

I fugitively shift my gaze between Emi, Alas Ramus and my own hand.

“…Um Maou? Is there…something wrong?”

“Yeah, there’s one thing I’m not quite comfy with… Two, actually.”

I turn to Emi.

“Maybe I’m just overthinking things, but… Why didn’t she say ‘Mommy is Emilia,’ too…?”

“Huh?”

Yo, GM?

Yeah?

You’re aware that this whole situation is going to be running roughshod over Chiho’s feelings, right?

Hey, since you can’t really participate in the battles, I decided to give you another form of conflict to deal with.

You just felt like jerking around with all of us today didn’t you?

“Right. So it’s settled. We’ll keep Alas Ramus in the Devil’s Castle.”

When did we settle that?


	13. Chapter 13

Since Alas Ramus wants to stay in the Devil’s Castle, I’m going to let her stay.

“We must respect the desires of the child herself. However! If you do anything that has an ill effect on this infant’s education, I will seize her immediately.”

Guess that means _you_ should keep on interacting with her as little as possible.

Ouch, man, why so harsh?

Well I guess that means Suzuno and I can continue on with our original plan and go out shopping. I gather my things and prepare to leave.

As do I.

“Mommy, don’t go again!”

Alas Ramus has tears in her eyes as she begs this of you.

“Hey, listen, Alas Ramus… Mommy’s just going out for a while, all right?”

“Going out?”

“Right. Yeah. She’ll be coming back, okay?”

“…Really?”

Alas Ramus looks at you pleadingly.

“R-really. I’ll be back soon, all right?”

“Okee. I’ll wait.”

Why do I get the feeling this exchange is going to end up causing trouble for me down the line?


	14. Chapter 14

I modestly tap on the door of the Devil’s Castle.

You can hear someone fumbling around inside, before unlocking the door.

“Ashiya?”

“…Hello, Ms. Sasaki…”

“Is she okay right now?”

Or is that, horrible, _horrible_ sound going to continue?

“…She finally fell asleep a moment ago. Come on inside.”

“All right. Thanks.”

I remove my shoes, step inside and place the plastic bag I’m carrying on the floor, trying to make as little noise as possible as I do so.

I lean down on the other side of the bag.

You hear a motorcycle roar outside.

Please, _please_ tell me that Alas Ramus is still asleep.

Yes, quite deeply it would seem.

Then why would you do that to us?

To keep you on your toes.

“Here… I brought pretty much whatever I could think of.”

I begin taking items out of the bag.

“Powdered milk… Sugar-free yogurt… And a few different brands of microwavable baby formula to test out. What did you do for dinner last night?”

“…Crestia gave us some udon noodles yesterday. We minced them and boiled them with an egg and some ground-up fish. That was soft enough for her to eat. She didn’t have any trouble chewing it, and she can drink water all right, so think we are safe feeding her human food.”

The GM granted us that mercy, at least.

I nod slightly and continue to remove items from the bag.

“Here are some sterilized wet tissues for cleaning up any accidents. And here’s a children’s toothbrush. Don’t use any toothpaste, though; not until she’s able to spit it out by herself. I got a bottle of mineral water, too.”

“Toothbrush…”

Is he so sleep deprived that simple words are losing their meaning to him?

“Ah, yes, we didn’t brush her teeth last night. Why such a small bottle of water, though? How is it different from regular mineral water?”

“It’s a special oral rehydration formula for infants.”

I just blink at you.

“It’s hot out right now, right? If she gets dehydrated, you can have her drink this to maintain her salt and blood sugar levels. It’s kind of like a sports drink for little kids.”

“How is it different from the adult version?”

Any particular reason you’re quizzing me on the stuff I decided to bring in?

Ashiya wouldn’t exactly be familiar with it, now would he?

Alright, alright.

“It’s made so that children can easily digest it. You can make it from tap water, too, but you don’t have a water filter installed, do you? Tokyo’s tap water is supposed to be a lot better than it was way back when, but that’s not much help if the pipes in your home are old and rusting. She started out as, like, an apple and stuff… I figured she’ll need to have the cleanest water we can give her. This is meant for emergencies, though, so we can’t just have her drink this.”

“…I see.”

I nod in admiration of your knowledge.

“When you _do_ give her something to drink, put it in this.”

The next item I remove from the bag is a large plastic cup, with a straw sticking out of the centre of the lid.

“There’s a valve inside the straw that keeps the drink from spilling if you drop it. If she can talk that much, she probably won’t have any problem with this. …Though, do they even _have_ straws in Ente Isla?”

“There were… I believe. It was human thing; I paid it little attention. Emilia and Crestia would know…”

You’re very much asking the wrong person, in other words.

“Well, if Alas Ramus doesn’t know how to use a straw, try this instead.”

I take out a drink box labelled CHILDREN’S BARLEY TEA.

“Does it make any difference whether it’s for children or adults?”

“Oh, a big difference. Whether it’s brewed hot or cold, the barley tea sold in stores can be too bitter for children a lot of the time if it isn’t made right. That, and more important, this drink box comes with a straw, so she can use it to practice if need be.”

“Practice?”

I’m assume she’d have to be assisted in some matter.

“Right. So what you want to do is squeeze the box in the middle so that just a little bit is pushed out the top. That way, the baby will realize that sucking at the straw will make the drink come out. Then she’ll get curious and figure it out for herself.”

I have a look of awe on my face as I watch you.

“And all the rest of this is diapers!”

And I have variety.

“So you can try these out, one after the other, and use whatever works best for her.”

“I…You… You have been such a tremendous help to us, Ms. Sasaki. I, Ashiya, have no way to express the gratitude I feel for your selfless support…”

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic!”

Is this the sleep deprivation talking?

“No, I…I mean it. In fact, if you will it, I would gladly recommend you for the position of Chief General of my liege’s regrouped demon forces once he regains his powers within Japan!”

“I’ll…pass on that, thanks.”

That gig didn’t work out too well for my last character.

“Besides, all I did was use some of the money Maou gave me to shop for a few things you need. Oh, lemme give you the change and receipt. Could you give this to Maou for me?”

“…Yes. Yes, I most certainly shall. I, Ashiya, stake my very life upon it…!”

I smile a bit at your antics.

“It was kind of fun, too, so… My cousin on my dad’s side got married, and he’s already had a kid. Whenever I come to visit, I like helping out with him while we’re playing around together. His wife taught me a lot about this kind of thing while we chatted.”

“I…see! Is that how you learned…?”

“Yeah. That, and…um…And I… I thought…someday, with……Maou………..I wouldn’t mind that…”

“Um, Ms. Sasaki?”

“Huh? Oh, uh, um, um, never mind never mind never…”

I fail my arms about, cheeks red, checking the apartment for any excuse to change the subject.

Urushihara and his computer desk seem to have vanished.

“Oh, but did Urushihara go somewhere? He didn’t…escape from you, did he?”

“Pfft… If he had the guts to attempt something like that, do you think I would be as exhausted as I am?”

I let out a deep pensive, sigh.

“…As I am sure you can imagine, Ms. Sasaki, the volume and frequency of Alas Ramus’s crying overnight was beyond anything we could have imagined.”

Which explains _why_ Urushihara disappeared, but not where to.

“…So where’s Urushihara, then?”

Sounds like my cue.

“Ugh, dude, it’s so hot. You got that food ready yet, Ashiya?”

I open the closet door.

You were in the closet?

In an ultimately futile attempt to escape Alas Ramus’s crying he fled in there, and has thus far refused to come out.

“Oh, hey, _you’re_ here, Chiho Sasaki?”

I hop off the middle tier of the closet, make my way to the fridge, take out a bottle of barley tea and return to the closet.

“Well, uh, make yourself at home, I guess?”

With that I shut the door again.

“…Ashiya…”

“I saw nothing. As long as he remains out of sight, everything is fine. My liege and I took turns attempting to assuage Alas Ramus last night, but her wailing never stopped. Hour after hour, it was ‘where’s Mommy, where’s Mommy’ …Ever since last night, Lucifer has spent most of his time in the closet.”

I’d’ve thought you would be happier about that, since you’re all convinced I’m a damn terrible influence who should not be allowed anywhere near children.

“Well, we can only hope Urushihara dries up and turns into a prune, I suppose.”

Hey!


	15. Chapter 15

“So Yusa never came back?”

“No, she did, along with Crestia…but that only made things worse.”

“The child’s intention was to sleep together with Emilia.”

I open the door to the Devil’s Castle, carrying a shopping bag.

“Oh, Suzuno!”

“I’ve brought the bento boxes and nutritional drinks you requested, Alciel.”

I offer the bag to you.

I sluggishly lean over and take it.

“…Do not expect any thanks. How much was it?”

“One gingerspice pork bento from Orion. Five hundred yen. You can have the nutritional drinks. Those were part of my stockpile.”

Wouldn’t that make them consecrated, then?

Is that a problem?

Well, no. Free is free. I silently pluck a five-hundred-yen coin out of my pocket and hand it over to you. Then I stand up and remove the lid on my bento box.

“…I hope you don’t mind if I have some lunch, Ms. Sasaki.”

“Huh? Oh! No, not at all! Go ahead.”

I smell the ginger and open the closet door just wide enough stick my face out.

“Hmm? Food?”

“Silence, wastel.”

The look on my face says I am in no mood for you.

What’s _your_ problem?

Besides the usual, you mean?

You, shut it.

I was kept awake all night by one child. Do you really think I would be in any mood to deal with another, especially one who is _older_ than me?

_Fine_. I retreat behind the closet door again.

“I have to admit, Ashiya, I’m surprised to see you actually shell out the money to get something from Orion Bento delivered.”

“The child’s crying fits last night were gruelling to endure. Even with a wall between us, I was woken up multiple times.

And as such I am uncharacteristically wearing a full face of makeup today.

“And her fury was even more unrestrained this morning. She made every effort to keep the Devil King from reporting to work. Emilia had left and never came back, so she must have assumed the Devil King would pull a similar escape.”

“Oh, no… But it’s not like Yusa can just stay over all the time either, huh?”

She still has her job and everything after all.

“Emilia is not without concern for our plight, of course, but it seems that not even she can fend off the vagaries of reality.”

I produce a mobile phone from my sleeve and show the screen to you. It’s displaying a text from Emi, _I’m sorry, can you take care of her? I’ll show up tomorrow_.

“You bought a cell phone, Suzuno?”

“Mm? Ah, yes, yesterday. Emilia taught me a great many things.”

“Oh, wow! Hey, let’s trade numbers while we’re thinking about it! You went with DokoDemo for your carrier, huh?”

“N-numbers? Hmm. How does one do that? I think there is some kind of infrared light-gun function that can transmit the number over…”

I begin intently tapping away at my phone. Eventually, I resignedly hand it over to Chiho.

“…I apologize, Chiho. I am all too unfamiliar with this. Please perform the required deed for me.”

“Okay, but are you sure you don’t mind me using it?”

“It is quite fine. I have only just made the purchase, and Emilia’s is the only name we added to the directory.”

Really, who else would I be calling? I hand you the phone.

What model of phone _is_ this anyway?

I have the item information somewhere…here we go.

“Suzuno, is this…DokoDemo’s ‘Jitterphone 5’?”

I nod, my face betraying surprise at you knowing what model my phone.

“Good heavens, Chiho! You could tell what model it was with a single glance?!”

“Well…this one, yeah.”

It says right here, _distinctive_ , and over here, _usually marketed to retirees_.

“I had no particular interest in this or that model. As long as I could make calls, I would be content with anything. That, and I have little confidence in my ability to operate machinery, so I requested a type as easy to use as possible. That is what they provided me.”

Well, whatever works for you, I guess. I find the IR transmitter on Suzuno’s phone and tap it against my own phone’s censor.

“And there we go! I sent my phone number to you, too, Suzuno.”

“My thanks to you. My knowledge of telephony before I came here limited to large, black, rotary-dial models. The instruction manual was so full of unfamiliar terms, I simply wanted to throw my hands in the air!”

I meekly accept the phone as I speak.

“…Daddy!”

Oh no.

The beast has awoken!


	16. Chapter 16

“Grkkk…”

“Where’s Daddy?”

Her face grows visibly redder as she fails to see either of her parents in the group of people present.

“Daaaaaaaddyyyyyyy!!!”

Noooooo, not this again, have you not tortured us enough?

I hurriedly attempt to assuage the girl’s fears.

The firestorm of tears rages on despite your efforts.

“Here, let me look.”

I brush the limp Ashiya away from Alas Ramus.

You notice that the diaper she is now wearing is quite swollen.

“Ashiya, this diaper…”

“Ah, yes, I purchased that yesterday. After Emilia left, Alas Ramus had quite the little accident. I failed to consider hand-washing her clothing, and the pharmacy was closed by then, I had to visit the convenience store by the rail station…”

“…Ashiya, you should really know better.”

“What…what about?”

What makes you think child care is something he’s done before?

There’s someone in here with a laptop, right? Google it.

“I mean, of _course_ , she’s crying. You didn’t change her diaper once since last night, did you?”

I take out a clean diaper and spread it on the floor. Then I lay Alas Ramus on top of it.

“There should be a bottle in my bag that looks like a big medicine dropper. Could you fill it up for me? Tap water’s fine.”

“Y-yes, but, um, the pipes are hot right now, so it’s going to be a shade lukewarm…”

That’s even better. Hurry!”

I take the bottle out of Chiho’s bag and hurry to the sink.

I grab both of Alas Ramus’ legs with one hand, lift them up and undo the diaper tape with my free hand.

“All right, how about we get you nice and clean?”

Is this striking anyone else as fucking weird? A party mainly made up of powerful magic users winding up stuck trying to care for a random infant.

Yep.

We’ve just learned to roll with the weirdness.

I’d like to point out that you make most it yourselves.

Besides, knowing the GM, and given what has already been revealed about her, there’s no way Alas Ramus is just some ‘random’ infant.

I accept the bottle from Ashiya and use it in changing Alas Ramus’ diaper.

Her crying ceases.

Halle-fucking-lujah.

I stare at Chiho and Alas Ramus, my eyes like saucers.

“…She was crying out for Emilia, so I reasoned she was just feeling lonely…”

“Well, I’m sure she _is_ lonely, but babies don’t really have a lot of different ways to express their concerns, you know? If something bad happens to them, all they can do is cry out, they only way they know how.”

And unfortunately for us, the GM decided to go the realistic route… I ball up the old diaper with the rest of the trash and toss into the burnable refuse bag. Then I use a wet cloth to clean up my hands before picking up Alas Ramus and brushing cheeks with her.

“There, see? Feels a lot better clean, right?”

“Oooo.”

“It’ll be all right, okay? Daddy will be home soon, and…um, Mommy…too, okay? So be a good girl until they do!”

“Okee!”

Her eyes are still tearful, but Alas Ramus flashes a meek smile at you.

“Awww… There’s a cute little girl.”

I can’t help but grin at her.

As she brushes away her tears, the purple crescent moon reappears on her forehead and body releases an ever-so-faint glow.

See? Definitely not a normal kid.

I hug Alas Ramus tightly.

“Ahp!”

There any particular reason you’re suddenly showering her with affection?

It made something happen. I figure if I keep doing it, maybe something else will happen.

As I watch these events unfold, I place my hands on the floor, completely defeated.

“Truly, I am no match whatsoever for you, Ms. Sasaki… How embarrassing it is! Yes, embarrassing to let my previous name as the demons forces’ master strategist go to head…! And such deft maneuvering you demonstrated to me in the way of diaper application… Truly, the scales have fallen from my eyes…”

I move that many, many experience points be granted for performing such a feat.

Changing a baby’s diaper?

Quieting the beast that had the rest of us stymied.

…What am I supposed to say to that?


	17. Chapter 17

“When do you think Yusa will come back?”

“Once her work is complete, I would imagine. No sooner than six in evening.”

“You know Emi’s work shifts, Suzuno?”

“No, but I did lie in ambush for her once.”

Not knowing how to respond to that, I glance at my bag, suddenly remembering something.

“I’m sorry, Suzuno, but there’s a notebook with a pink cover in my bag. I stuck a piece of paper right under the cover, but could you get that out of me?”

“Certainly. One moment…”

I search through Chiho’s bag until I find the notebook and remove a sheet of paper.

“Is that it?”

Yep. Open it up.

I unfold the paper for you and hand it over.

“Lemme see… Today Maou’s shift supervisor from morning until past the lunch rush. Kisaki’s scheduled to show up after that, and… Oh, he’s getting off early today, 4pm, it says.”

And what time is it right now?

2:30 in the afternoon.

“…Oh, I know! Say, would you mind if I took Alas Ramus to MgRonald?”

“Pardon?”

“What?”

“Well, I think she’s gonna be pretty bored, cooped up in here all day. Maybe if we took her on a walk, she’d get in a better mood and remember something about her past for us. That, and she can get to see ‘Daddy’ quicker, too.”

You’re really bent on making her happy to advance the plot, aren’t you?

It’s the only thing that seems like it might work.

“Daddy!”

Alas Ramus throws up her arms in joy.

“I do not understand why my liege decided to take Alas Ramus in, but as long as we do not know the origin of this child, I feel it dangerous to bring her out in public…”

If someone is looking for her, that would attract their attention.

“No. I agree with Chiho. We may have had quite a tumultuous time with her, but if we wish to make any progress, I feel we need to seize initiative. The societal mores of this country would likely grow unfriendly before long to the idea of you caring for an unknown child. What if Alas Ramus fell ill? Would you take her to the doctor uninsured, without any documentation to prove you are related?”

And you know the GM would do it, if only to add spice to your lives.

“There is nothing to fear. I am confident I can handle myself against your run-of-the-mill angel or demon.”

I wouldn’t tempt fate if I were you.

“Once things are set into motion, we can decide what to do once circumstances change. That would be good for her, and for you as well, no?”

“…Yes. But…”

“And also note, Alciel, that no matter what our situation is, no matter how we clashed in the past, we are all in agreement right now on one central point - that we need to keep Alas Ramus protected, heart and soul.”

“Dude, _I_ never said that.”

Well, good for you. You got outvoted 5 to 1.

And, honestly, the only reason it wasn’t 6 to 1 is because Rika hasn’t met Alas Ramus yet.

“ _In_ which case, I think it a fine idea to take Alas Ramus outside. It is the best thing for her health and happiness.”

I turn my gaze towards the closet.

“I also feel _his_ presence is having a deleterious effect on her upbringing.”

“Agreed”

I nod eagerly.

“Hey, stop ragging on me!”

“…Very well. But as my liege’s faithful servant, I cannot simply pass off the child he agreed to take care of without a second thought! I will come with her. On that condition, she may go outside.”

I wolf down the remainder of my bento and drain one of the energy drinks Suzuno gave me.

The drink causes you to collapse flat on your back the instant you empty it, your body racked with pain.

“Nh!”

“Ashiya?!”

Your eyes close and you fall unconscious.

“Ooo, Al-cell sleepy!”

Sleepy? Given that description it sounds like I should be losing hit points.

Nah, you’re just out. The loud snore you emit soon after falling unconscious indicates as much.

“…Well, that was the telling blow, I suppose.”

I shake my head in disbelief.

“I woke up several times last night, and I was in another room. Listening to Alas Ramus’s wailing from inches away must have pushed Alciel over the brink.”

I warily watch the closet door as I pick up the bottle Ashiya dropped as he fell.

“Emilia gave this to me yesterday. It was not the gentlest approach, I grant you, but without this, I doubt, Alciel would ever allow himself any rest. Illness would come soon after, and I have noticed by now that whenever Alciel is too ill to go on, the demons around him have a tendency to make things even worse.”

…Why is everyone looking at me like that?

That…was kind of messed up.

How do I help my neighbour to relax so that he doesn’t get sick? I know, I’ll poison him.

Some Good character you are.

Like _you_ have any room to talk. As I explain my actions, I point to the bottle in my hand.

I notice the unfamiliar script written on it.

“…What’s that language written there?”

“The Ente Islan language. Think of it as a sort of…relaxant, for demons.”

Relaxant my ass.

“Hey, that reminds me…”

I glance at Alas Ramus and the collapsed Ashiya.

“Alas Ramus… You know Ashiya’s name, don’t you? You said ‘Al-cell’.”

“Ooo?”

“Alas Ramus?”

“Yeh?”

She raises an arm.

“My name is Chiho.”

“Chee-o?”

“Chi-ho. Although Daddy like to call me ‘Chi.’”

“Chi-cha!”

Alas Ramus’s face brightens.

“Daddy’s friend!”

“Now, now, Alas Ramus. Chiho is more of an elder sister to you. ‘Chi’ would be far too informal.”

“Oooo? Oo?

“Try it. Call her ‘Chiho, my sister.’”

“Chio…mmm… Chi-Sis!”

“Oh, that is _so cuuuuute_!!”

I rub my cheek against Alas Ramus’s.

Are you trying to make us all forget the horrible din she put us through?

“Chi-Sis, Chi-Sis…”

Alas Ramus turns her eyes towards Suzuno and stares at her.

“…Oo.”

“Wh-what…?”

“And you know who this lady is? This is Suzuno. She’s kind of like a big sister, too.”

“Suzu-Sis!”

She points at Suzuno while shouting her new name for her.

My face begins turning crimson.

“Suzu-Sis… Mm. Oh. Hmm. No. That is fine, but… Mm.”

“Chi-Sis, Suzu-Sis!”

“Awwwww, I can’t get _enough_ of you!!”

“There…there is no need to parrot it endlessly like that…! And stop looking at me with those eyes! This is unfair! She is just too darling to bear!”

And on some of us, it seems to have worked.

“…You girls are acting _so_ stupid.”

I straddle Ashiya’s unresponsive body so that I standing in front of the closet door. Then I give it several loud smacks with my palm.

“Agh!!”

I begin flailing around in the closet.

“I presume you heard us. Chiho and I are going to take Alas Ramus outside. Tell that to Alciel once he wakens. We will return by the Emilia or the Devil King are finished work.”

“All right. Fine. Dude, you really scared me. If anything goes wrong. I’m not here, okay?”

“That is the fervent wish of all of us, but surely you could at least serve as our walking, talking memo pad.”

“…Since when are you all in the same clique now? It’s like, there’s me, and then there’s everyone else. You girls are human!”

"I invite you to ask the question to yourself. Even the bitterest foes may unite for a common cause at times. But there is _no_ common cause to be found in defending you!"

"Luciffar, useless?"

Children do pick up on things so quickly, do they not? And they are so _honest_ , too."


	18. Chapter 18

“Daddy!!”

Alas Ramus’s shout reaches across the MgRonald. At the sound one crewmember forgets about customer service duties, another loses his grip on the tray he was carrying, a third forgets to remove her finger from the drink dispenser button, sending orange juice overflowing into the drain below. The beepy jingle indicating a batch of fries is done echoes over the now silent scene.

I stand in confusion.

Every member of the crew slowly turns their eyes towards you.

I rush towards the three girls near the entrance.

“Daddyyy!”

Clearly she thinks you're rushing forward to lovingly embrace her.

“Hooowwww _coooooouuuuld_ yoooooouuuuuu?!"

I confront the pair of you.

“Why did you bring _her_ in here?! This… I mean, this isn’t even funny!”

Are you _trying_ to make me loose my job?

“Um… I’m sorry. I just thought it’d make Alas Ramus happy…”

“She was crying out to see you. And we thought a chance of scenery would help stimulate her past memories. So we brought her up here.”

It’s not that I don’t get what you were trying to do, it’s that I wish you hadn’t done it.

Alas Ramus is squirming around in Chiho’s arms.

“Daddy, Daaaaddy!”

“Agh! Hey, stop moving around…”

“ _Please_ , stop repeating that!”

Alas Ramus is starting wriggle out of Chiho’s arms.

“Daddyyyyy!”

I support her so she doesn’t end up falling on the floor.

“Daddy! I’m here!”

“You, you, you sure are, ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Behind you, the crew is gossiping.

“That’s Maou and Sasaki’s kid?”

“Dude, no _way_. If Maou actually did that, I’d take him out on the street and strangle him.”

Oh good.

“Where’s Kisaki! ‘Cause, man, if she hears about this, it’s gonna be a horror show.”

That’s what I’m worrying about.

“Ah, crap, crap, crap, the fries are burning!!”

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… Maou, I’m, I’m sorry if this is bad or something…”

You notice Kisaki approaching from behind Maou, though neither he nor Suzuno seems to have done so.

Do I notice Chiho at least looks panicked?

You do, but you don’t realize why.

“What is it, Chiho? You look ill. Has the heat affected you?”

“Hellooooooooooooooo, Maaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

Kisaki is now standing behind you, her face terrifying.

“Eep!!”

“Oo?”

I stand bolt upright.

“If my eyes aren’t deceiving me, that little girl Chi just brought in called you ‘Daddy,’ didn’t she? _Hmmmmm_?”

“…She did.”

That’s it, I’m gonna die.

That’s _rreeealllyyyy_ pathetic, you know that, Devil King?

Strangely suited to the way the character’s life has gone though.

Kisaki shows no signs of having moved.

I slowly turn around, afraid to face Ms. Kisaki’s wrath.

Her face is neither angry nor happy, rather she seems somewhat distressed. Then she turns towards Suzuno.

Why Suzuno?

“You’re Maou and Sasaki’s friend, aren’t you? …Kamazuki, right?”

I nod meekly.

“Would you mind if I spoke with Sasaki for a few moments?”

Oh, that’s why Suzuno.

“I… You may… I mean, sure. Anytime.”

What was _that_?

I was trying to adjust my speech patterns to something that wouldn’t sound odd to Ms. Kisaki.

“Thank you. Hey, Maa, show Ms. Kamazuki a seat for me. I’ll take the baby.”

“Uh? Um, okay, but…”

Why do you hate me?

What do you mean?

Alas Ramus is going to start screaming again isn’t she? So like I said, why do you hate me?

Relax. Ms. Kisaki takes Alas Ramus without asking further permission. Unlike what you apparently expected, Alas Ramus sits comfortably in her arms.

“Could you go to the staff break room for me, Chi? You, too, Maa, once you’re done seating her.”

But being completely out of the woods is apparently too much to ask. The blood drains from my face as I hear this.

Ms. Kisaki begins to head behind the counter.

I pensively follow her.

I watch them go.

“…My apologies. This was, perhaps, too shallow-minded of me.”

I forgot about the consequences it would undoubtedly incur at your job.

“Nothing ‘perhaps’ about it, man…but I guess I got nothing to whine about. You were just trying to help her, so. Feel free to sit down over there wherever. You won’t have the AC blowing on your face that way.”

I point towards one corner of the dining area.

“I assumed you would be angrier.”

“Oh? What do I have to be angry for? I mean, like, it kinda blew up in your face, but if anything, I gotta thank you for lending a hand. Sorry ‘bout this.”

I look you in the eye, trying to sound as sincere as possible. After all, you really only have to take care of Alas Ramus because _I_ do.

“…I do not need a Devil King patronizing me.”

I turn my back to you.

“Hey, what kind of Devil King would I be otherwise?”

Maybe one that actually acts like a _Devil_ King.

“Just wait in one of those seats for me…”

A new customer steps through the door of the restaurant.

“Whew… Three in the afternoon, under the blazing sun! The moment when my goddess of beauty will provide me with the sweet, sweet ice cream that do deftly, so immaculately cools and quenches my hearts!! Oh, my beloved goddess! I have come to you today, at this moment, to bring my love to your soul!”

Apparently Sariel eating at MgRonald every meal includes him appearing at snack time.

Sariel scans the dining area before bring his eyes to the counter, where he notices the goddess he has sworn eternal loyalty to, as well as what she is carrying in her hands.

“Gnrahh!”

“My. He _has_ gained weight.”

That’s _really_ what you took from that scene?

Suzuno's observation does alert Sariel to the fact that she and Maou are standing right next to him. He brings his head up to face you.

“Have…the heavens forsaken me?”

Why would _I_ know? I mean I get asking Suzuno, but why ask me?

“Is this the punishment of the gods, exacted upon me for abandoning my post? Has the heart of my eternal goddess already been… _struck_ , by the arrow of another man? Has she returned this man’s advances? And, by all that lives in heaven, is that the blessed, crystalline symbol of their love that she bears?!”

“Uh, you handle this, Suzuno.”

Why me?

Because I really have no idea what to do with him, and I have to meet with Chiho in the break room. With my comment, I make my escape.

“Crestia Bell! Am I dreaming?! Tell me this is a dream! If I have lived in sin up until this point, then I swear I will repent! I know I have been something of a womanizer in the past, but this time, I promise you, I am serious! Please, allow me to confess my sins! Allow me to beg the forgiveness of the gods!”

“Why is an archangel begging a…a lowly human cleric for confession?!”

Hey, that’s a good opportunity to see if he knows anything about Alas Ramus, though.

“This must have been what the morning’s horoscope meant when it said ‘rocky times for romance lie ahead’! Such a merciless, merciless trial the gods have conceived for me!”

I don’t know… this sounds like it will be painful… but fine.

“…Lord Sariel, do you know at all where that child came from?”

“Ahh… Joyful indeed, would I be if it were mine…”

He collapses to the ground and weeps plaintively.

Well, he doesn’t seem to know anything.

But he still might have other useful information.

“…Well, so be it. Come to me, my lord, and tell me of your sins.”


	19. Chapter 19

“…All right. How old is she?”

Huh. I was expecting something more…frightening. I glance at Chiho.

“I’m guessing about three… No, she’s smaller than that, actually. A little less than two, maybe. Hmm?”

“Um. Y-yes… I think so.”

“You think so? You didn’t ask her parents how old she is?”

Well we really can’t. We have no idea who or where they are.

“…Well, I guess if you asked me how old my niece was, I wouldn’t be too sure about that, either. But it’s a lot easier to remember what grade in school they’re in for some reason, you know? But anyway, relax. I’m not gonna yell at you guys or anything. Not in front of this girl.”

Hey, she’s actually proving to be good for something other than making loud noises.

“Now, just so we’re on the same page here, this is definitely not your kid, right?”

“No! Not at all! …It’d be kinda nice if it was, but…”

“Your free to think whatever you want, Chi, but there’s a time and a place for everything, okay?”

So keep the fantasizing away from work?

Yes.

“So you two… You aren’t a romantic couple right now, correct?”

“C-correct.”

“I, uh, right.”

Kisaki smiles wryly at your responses.

That doesn’t bode well.

“Did you think I was going to punish you bringing romance, or your family or whatever, into the workplace? I mean, really, if you guys _were_ a couple, we wouldn’t need to have this little talk right now.”

“Um?”

Why does that sound like your encouraging us to become a couple?

If the GM wants that to happen, nothing the two of you do is going to stop it.

“I don’t care if you asked Chi for help, Maa, or if Chi asked you first. But lemme ask you this. Have you ever thought about what it looks like to people, a girl who’s still in high school regularly visiting a man’s house to help care for an infant?”

Oh, you were just getting at _that_. Should have known you would bring in what people would think.

“But…but Maou doesn’t have anyone else he can ask. He didn’t even really have any stuff…”

“Maybe you…don’t understand quite yet, Chi. People… They can be shallow, you know? They can jump to conclusions, and they can spread all kinds of things before you even know it. And, sadly, you can’t fight that. Because there’s nothing ‘there’ to fight.”

Kisaki lightly rubs her finger against Alas Ramus’ cheek.

“You smell like Daddy!”

“Oh? I do, huh?”

See? MgRonald fry oil.

“Young people can be shallow a lot of the times, too. They hear me talking, and they’d probably say something like ‘The world doesn’t understand us!’ But you guys didn’t, and I have to praise you for that.”

Kisaki places Alas Ramus on one knee, supports her with one hand, and spins her chair around.

“I…I don’t think I know enough about the world to be able to say that.”

The chair stops with a squeak. Kisaki lifts a smiling Alas Ramus into the air.

“Wheeee! Yaaaaa! Ha-ha-ha!”

The girl rocks two and fro clearly excited.

Do you even need us anymore?

“Well, if you can say that, you’re at least half a grown man.”

Kisaki returns Alas Ramus to Maou.

“You can go ahead and take off, Maa. It’s still early, but if it’s gonna stay this empty, we’re not gonna miss one crewmember too much.”

“But…I really…”

“You’re this kid’s ‘daddy’, aren’t you? Then quit worrying about another hour’s wages and start worrying about time you spend with her. I’ll see what I can do about your request for more hours, too.”

With that Kisaki adjusts her crew cap and leaves the break room. Does that answer your question?

“…More hours, Maou?”

“Hey, a man’s gotta work. I’ve got dependents now.”

_Now_? I was under the impression you'd had one for a while. 

Says the one playing an actual 16-year-old girl.

At least she actually _does_ things on a consistent basis, unlike some other characters.

“If this keeps up, I might have to send her to school sooner or later.”

“So…you’re really going to take her in?”

How far ahead are you planning?

“Well, not take her in, exactly.”

I give Alas Ramus a couple of pokes on the forehead.

I just figure I’ll watch her until I get some answers to my questions. If her parents ever show up, I’ll be first in line to hand her over.”

Duly noted.

Oh god, what are you planning?

“You know, Chi… You told me your mom and dad were cool with coming over to my place, right?”

“…Yes.”

“I want to keep what Ms. Kisaki said in mind from now on…and that’s why I need to ask. Would you mind if I…took advantage of that trust in me for a while longer?”

“N… What?”

That… wasn’t what I expected you to say at all.

“Things are still relatively peaceful right now, but…”

It sounds to me like you are making a conscious effort to tempt the GM.

“…you know, Emi and Suzuno are still technically against me, so… Right now, here in Japan, if you asked me who’s the guy I feel safest in fully relying upon for something… Well, you’re about it, Chi. And I know it’s kinda unfair to say this without ever giving you an answer to that question, Chi, but…and I know it’s gonna be a pain in the ass sometimes…but if you can help me out, I’d really appreciate it.”

I stand agape at your comments.

“…Chi?”

A tear begin rolling down my face.

“…Hey! Hey, why’re you crying?! Chi, I… Hey! Did I offend you or something?!”

I calmly take out a handkerchief and wipe the tear away.

“Oh…I’m sorry. I, I just… I’m kind of happy, so…”

“No, _I’m_ sorry! My bad, okay? I’m older than you; I mean, I’m the _Devil King_ , and I’m still relying on you for everything… Wait what?”

Do it really take you that long to realize I said happy?

“I’m happy to hear that. I’m happy to know that you’re relying on me, Maou.”

“Huh? Ah? Eh? Happy… What? So why’re you crying, then?”

“Hee-hee… I apologize. This is just how human beings behave.”

“Well, it makes no sense at all to me. I mean…”

Such emotional outbursts are a near nonexistent phenomenon in demons.

Yeah, that.

“I know that you can’t give me an instant response. I’m prepared to wait as long as you need, and I don’t care what you say to me in the end. So…”

I take Alas Ramus’ hand.

“Chi-Sis?”

“So I’ll do whatever I can to help, Maou.”

“R-really? Uh… Well, thanks. And sorry.”

“You got it!”

“Hey, Maa, could you open that drawer and get that-”

Kisaki chooses that moment to burst back into the room. Her eyes arch upwards as she catches sight of the scene in front of her.

“…Ugh. Guess I better stop hiring women for a while.”

She walks angrily over to the desk and removes an envelop from one of it’s drawers.

“I got these as a newspaper subscription freebie, but I don;t have any use for them, so I figured I’d give ‘em to you instead.”

She sighs.

“You _do_ understand what I just told you both, right?”

She perches the envelope on Maou’s head and leaves the room again.

Dare we open the envelope?


	20. Chapter 20

“Hey, Emi, somethin’ bad happen to you?”

“Huh?”

“I dunno, you’ve just had this really peeved look on your face all morning.”

I bring a hand to my forehead.

“Not some kind of trouble with that Maou guy again, I hope.”

“Wh-what made you think _that_?!”

“Well, Emi… I mean, whenever you’ve been troubled about something lately, it’s never been anything _but_ him.”

The glories of having one especially troublesome PC running about.

“What? No! No, it hasn’t!”

“Oh, reeeeeeally? I don’t seem to remember you ever acting like this at work before I started hearing about Maou.”

That’s because before Maou, Rika didn’t exist as a player character!

“I mean, like, whenever we went out to eat, you always looked so happy that it made all my own troubles seem like nothing. Whenever we went out together, too. It’s really been just a little bit ago that you’ve been all serious like this.”

“Oooooh…”

“Oh, wait! I think your AC broke down this time last year, right? I remember you said you had a lot of trouble sleeping in the heat.”

How long where you planning Rika as a character? I know you sat around watching what we were doing before throwing together a character sheet, but were you taking notes or something?

Yes.

I softly place my head on my desk.

“Oh, and that one time you complained about how DokoDemo was giving you too many hours and you couldn’t arrange an appointment with the electric company guy…”

“Rika, you got me, all right? You win. You don’t have to keep beating a dead horse.”

A call comes in on Rika’s workstation.

“Oh? Oh. Oop, I got one.”

Thanks for the brief solace.

It’s just a die roll.

I finish the call.

“So what is it, girl? What’re you arguing about this time?!”

“You're _so_ enjoying this, aren’t you?”

I flash a resentful look at you.

“Hey, it keeps the boredom from setting in.”

Seriously, this is the most interaction I get with most of the rest of the party.

You have no one but yourself to blame for that.

“Plus, you know, I hate to leave a friend hanging when she’s in need!”

“Something tells me the ‘boredom’ excuse is a lot closer to the truth.”

I grin to myself.

“Things are…well. You know. Kind of a pain. But I can’t sever myself from them or anything.”

“Ohh?”

“There’s a small child involved.”

I nod to myself, elbow planted firmly on top of the cube’s wall.

“Yours and Maou’s?”

“Well, that’s what _she_ says, but…Agh!!”

Realized how I’m gonna take it, did you?

“Wait, what, really?”

“N-no! Not _that_ way. I meant… Well, not exactly _no_ , but no, okay?!”

“Whoa, whoa, chill! You’re not making sense.”

“…Okay, so listen. Seriously this time.”

“Oh, I’ve always been serious!”

I flash an utterly innocent look at you.

Yeah, right, _you’re_ innocent.

Well, you’re the one who brought up that Alas Ramus thinks that you’re her mom.

*sigh*

“…So, there’s this little kid at Maou’s place right now, right? Apparently… Well, he’s watching her for someone.”

“She related to him?”

“I don’t know all the details.”

Only the GM does at this point.

“Do you remember the girl in the kimono you met a little whole ago? I saw the child when I came to see her.”

“Oh, yeah… She had kind of a rare name, right? Kamazuki or something? Suzuno Kamazuki.”

“Yeah, her. She lives right next to Maou, like I told you, so I kind of have to see her, whether I want to or not. So that’s how I found out. Anyway…”

I place an elbow on my desk and sigh.

“For whatever reason, this girl thinks I’m her mother.”

“Huh?”

I crane my head forward.

“I’ve never seen her before in my life, and she’s all ‘Mommy, Mommy’…”

“She’s not just, like, really, really friendly with you, and that’s why she calls you that?”

“No, I… I think she’s really gotten it into her mind that I’m her mom, you know?”

I shake my head.

My previously jovial expression is now one of sincere concern.

“Oof… Yeah, that’s a problem. If she was just really clingy, that’s one thing, but if she seriously wants to be your daughter…”

I cross my arms and lean back in my office chair, deep in thought.

“Um, I’m sorry if I’m getting morbid or whatever, but this girl… Did her mother die right after she was born or something?”

“Huh?”

“I mean, if she was usually with her mom all the time, she wouldn’t start calling other people ‘Mommy’ after being away just a couple, three days. ‘Cause otherwise, either you’re like, her mom’s identical twin, or she never had any memories of her mom in the first place.”

“That…”

That’s really dark.

I did warn you.

“Was it something like that?”

“Hmm… I dunno. I don’t really have the whole story.”

“Ah… All right. Well, hell, it’s Maou’s problem anyway, isn’t it? Why do you have to care at all, Emi?”

Because apparently she’s the key to this campaign’s plot.

“I just figure… You know, there’s only so much someone like you can do here, and maybe we’re both overthinking it, but if you don’t have any intention of seeing that stuff through to the end, why get involved at all?”

I give you a pat on the shoulder.

The chime signalling the end of your shifts rings out.

“Yeah, but I already told him I’d stop by today…”

“Oh, Emi. You’re _totally_ getting involved, aren’t you?”

Like I said, plot.

“Yeaaah… I guess I kinda got caught up in the mood over there, you know?”

“Well, if you’re just trying to stick to your guns for no reason around Maou and his buds, that’s all the more reason to get out.”

“It, it’s not that… Okay, maybe a little…but it’s not _just_ that.”

I’m also uncomfortable with the idea of there being a child in the Devil’s Castle.

“It’s not like I’m feeling sorry for the girl or anything but…if it’s fun for her to spend tine hanging out with me. I don’t really see any reason to deny her that…”

“You always were Ms. Nice Guy like that, huh? For better or for worse.”

Well I _am_ the Hero.

“Of course, I guess there’s really no telling what;s good or bad for the kid until she grows up a little more, huh? In which case, why don’t you approach her in whatever way you like? Think about what’s good for you, not what’s good for Maou or whoever. Say, Emi, you’ve never pet-sitted for friends or anything, right?”

“…Where’d _that_ come from?”

“Well, I mean, you’d be amazed what feeding a dog for a day or two does. A lot of the time, it’’ be pure love, you know? So I’m just saying, don’t dig in too deep here. Otherwise I bet it’s gonna hurt whenever she goes back to her family.”

He-he-he-he-he-he.

That’s worrying.

“…Yeah, I’ll remember that.”

“Well, super! Better get going now, huh? Your beloved bundle of joy awaits!”

“Rika!!

I take off my own headset and chase Rika out of the cube.

“…Her family, though, huh…?”

I head to the changing room. …Oh, hey, _now_ I know why you gave me these.

Huh?

“Hey, you know, Emi, if you wanna make your with her special, how ‘bout this?”

I return from the the changing room and present Emi with a handful of paper sheets.

“I didn’t know this ’til now, but I guess DokoDemo’s sponsoring this joint, so there’s a pretty big employee discount.”


	21. Chapter 21

The six rectangular pieces of paper are lying on the table in the centre of the Devil’s Castle.

“Wuzzat? Wuzzat?”

“Well coincidence or not we’ve got them all together.”

And there’s _no_ way it was. You intentionally made sure both Maou and Emi got tickets to this Tokyo Big-Egg Town place.

“These will serve us quite well, will they not? An amusement park, after all, is built for the enjoyment of young children, I believe. We could combine these coupons and have quite a ball together.”

“Amusement park! With Mommy and Daddy!”

And Alas Ramus clearly wants to go.

Yeah, _as a family_. Which something Emi would refuse to do.

So do you want to lodge a protest?

But if we do that, wouldn’t Alas Ramus pick up on that and start bawling again?

Maybe.

“…Nugh. Look, if _this_ is the kind of thing you’re bringing in here, should I take that as you accepting your role in this?”

“I-in what…?”

“Hey, Alas Ramus? I’m thinking about taking you somewhere, but is it okay if Mommy doesn’t come along?”

12 to persuade the kid.

15.

“No! Together!”

Alas Ramus stands up off your knee to face Emi.

“Okay, well, how about you go out together with Mommy and I don’t come with you?”

8 this time.

She just dominated you with a 19.

“No!!”

“…And there you have it. If anyone else has any brilliant ideas, feel free to start convincing Alas Ramus anytime. Me and Emi’ll help you out as much as we can.”

“Chiho Sasaki, are you willing to see that-”

I give the door a loud smack.

“- _aghh_!”

Fine, see if I try and give you people advice anymore.

I’m sure we can do without it.

“But, Your Demonic Highness, if you are together with Emilia and Alas Ramus…”

I step up. And before you ask, _no_ , I’m not going with what _you_ were going to suggest.

“…I’m sorry, Yusa, but would you mind going together? For her sake?”

“Uh? Chiho?”

“I mean, just think of it as watching over Maou to make he doesn’t do anything weird. That’s okay by you, right? Besides, Maou’s never even been to an amusement park before. I mean, he’s barely even walked as far as Shinjuku from here in Sasazuka, and that’s only two miles or so. Doesn’t that make you nervous, someone like that carrying a baby around the city?”

Thanks a bunch.

“That, and we still don’t even know why Alas Ramus is here in Japan, either. What if there’s some other bad guy like Sariel around here and he tries to go after Alas while Maou’s wandering around by himself? What if Maou gets killed, even?”

“…You truly would make fine attorney, Chiho.”

“But what about you, Chiho…?”

“Oh, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m just saying, if we’re really worried about Alas Ramus here, we should try to be together with her as long as possible so we don’t have anything to regret once it’s all over.”

I place my hands on my hips and look down at the ‘happy’ parents.

I hang my head in resigned disgust.


	22. Chapter 22

“Chiho!”

I’m running behind you, my sandals clacking on the sidewalk.

“Huh? Oh, Suzuno. What’s up? Did I forget something?”

“No, nothing of that sort…”

I brush back the hairs stuck to my brow.

“It may not be my place to say this…but I hope you will not mind.”

Mind what?

“What is it?”

“What…? Well, I… I am referring to Emilia and the Devil King going out together…”

“Ohh.. Well, if you’re worried about Maou getting slashed into ribbons following some argument with Emi, I guess I can’t blame you.”

Why would I be worried about that? I’m his enemy remember, at most I would concerned about that fact that Emi would be slicing him up in a public area.

“No, I… There _is_ that, yes, but it is not what I mean.”

I smile.

“I do kinda worry, though. After all, I don’t think Yusa hates Maou as much as she says.”

That would be enough to make her faint on the spot if she heard it, you know.

Did she?

No.

“But Maou told me that he’s trusting me and all, so…”

“What?”

“…Hee-hee! Oh, nothing.”

I put a finger in front of my mouth.

“But if we’re going to worry about anybody here, I don’t think it’s me. Yusa’s leaving them alone tonight, too, right?”

“Ah. Yes. She has yet find the resolve to stay together with them, she said.”

It would take pretty extreme circumstances for her to find that resolve, for the record.

“In which case, I bet _he’s_ gonna pitch a huge fit once Yusa goes home. Ashiya, I mean.”

“Alciel?”

I look up in confusion.


	23. Chapter 23

“My liege! It far too dangerous! Please, I beg you to reconsider!”

Nice to know my prediction was spot on.

“Calm down, man. You think that after all this, Emi’s gonna choose _now_ to murder me in public?”

“Even if Emilia herself poses no threat, think about Ms. Sasaki’s hypothesis. What if someone out there should seek to take Alas Ramus’s life, in the worst case…?”

“Look, seriously, calm down! If that’s true, then it’s true whether we go out or not, okay? You think that barricading ourselves in here and locking all the doors and windows is gonna be enough to protect form some assassin from Ente Isla or the heavens? I mean, eesh, if I’m gonna pee my pants over somebody who I don’t know if he exists or not, I’m gonna die of heat stroke in here _way_ before anybody kills me!”

“Your Demonic Highness, the bite of a single termite has the power to make a mighty castle wall crumble!”

“That’s not even the right metaphor, man! You’re talkin’ about trying to block a bullet with shield made out of cardboard! What’re we gonna do if we keep Alas Ramus in here day and night and she winds up like Urushihara, huh?”

“The girl boasts much higher qualities than _that_ , my liege! When she finishes her meal, she brings her dish to me for cleaning and thanks me for the food!”

“Oh, so you’re saying I’m below Alas Ramus now?!”

“Exactly!”

She’s an NPC you all would have been thrilled to be rid of a few sessions ago!

“Urushihara!!”

“Dude, you guys are being _so_ unfair!!”

Am I hearing all this?

The windows are open, so yep.

I enter the apartment.

“What are you fools squabbling about? I can hear every word!”

“Welcommmmme, Suzu-Sis!”

Alas Ramus raises a chubby arm to greet you. She’s ripping up some newspaper sheets for fun.

“Oh. Um… Yes. Good to be back.”

“Suzu-Sis, it’s Sepila!”

“Hmm? What is it?”

Roll a knowledge check to see if you pick up on what she’s talking about.

Okay… 7.

Guess not. Alas Ramus pulls on your kimono sleeve in order to show you a colour page taken from an old newspaper. It’s an advertisement for a family minivan.

Why is she showing me an advertisement for a minivan?

A photo of the car is printed front and centre, with a cartoony cityscape in the background. The back door of the car is open, with a large flock of helium balloons floating out the rear of the van.

“Sepila!”

Roll again.

5… which given it’s worse than the last one, I’m going to assume I still don’t pick up on what she is trying to tell me.

Nope.

“Hmm…? Oh, um I see. Where is Emilia? Has she gone already?”

“Yeah, she left pretty quickly after Chi did. You didn’t see her on the way out?”

“No… But it surprises me that her departure has not sent Alas Ramus into crying jag.”

“Well, she promised Emi that she wouldn’t act up, so.”

And please, don’t you jinx this.

“We’re aiming to put the plan into action on Sunday.”

“Your Demonic Highness, you must give this thought…”

“Ketter, Netack, Market, and… no Binah. Daddyyy, no Binah!”

Alas Ramus bats her hand against the car ad as she calls for you.

“Uh, what?”

Let’s see if you have better luck.

10.

Well, that was better, but still not good enough.

What’s up with this kid and car ads all of a sudden?

I whisper into Ashiya’s ear.

“If you are that concerned about this, Alciel, then let us surveil them in secret.”

The suggestion makes me turn a ghastly shade of white.

“We more than enough discount coupons.”

Since the cost was no doubt what is so concerning you.

“You can, at least, keep track of their movements.”

“B-but… Even if my liege took the free pass and Emilia paid her own way, Alas Ramus would receive little in the way of a discount for her child admission. And even at half price, when you factor the train costs into the equation… Depending on timing, they may have to eat at a restaurant as well, and that only makes things worse…”

“Look, Alciel.”

I grab one of the coupons left on the table and show it to you.

“This amusement park charges no admission for entry. Prices are assigned for each of the attractions instead. Even if you did nothing apart from shadow them, the transit costs are all you need to be concerned about.”

“Ah… I…I see.”

It’s embarrassing that I didn’t notice that.

“-So will you all just _go_ already? I’ll be right here at home, soooo…”

And you’ve just ensured Ashiya’s never, ever going to leave.

“No! It cannot be allowed! Damn you, Urushihara, you’re set to take advantage of my extended absence to purchase more same-day shipping folderol from that accursed Jungle.com!”

“If you wish to go, then go. I will gladly stand guard over Lucifer.”

“Dude!”

“…What are you scheming here?”

While the rest of you are talking, I’ll just be cleaning up the bits of newspaper Alas Ramus has spread all over the room.

“I am ever bit a resident of this building as you are. If some trouble were to befall us, do you think Lucifer would be capable of providing any support by himself?”

“Ngh… You…”

“Whoa, dude, Ashiya, stop acting like you reluctantly agree with her!”

“More to the point, if someone related to Alas Ramus does enter the scene, he or she may not necessarily be the rogue that Chiho suggested. If her true parents were to appear, we must provide an environment for Alas Ramus that will allow us to proceed with things in a smooth, harmonious manner. There is a chance of some ruffian attempting to harm her, of course…but given the location of the previous Gate that was opened, there is a very good chance of this visitor appearing in Villa Rosa Sasazuka him- or herself. In such a case, do you think Lucifer is capable of handling them on his own initiative?”

“Ngh…nnnnngh.”

“Dude, Ashiya, make her take that back! Say _something_ , at least!”

“Of course, I suppose we can worry about that once the day arrives.”

“Nnnnnnngggggggghhhhhhhhhh.”

I turn towards Maou.

“And if something should befall you, I suppose there are worse fates than having Emilia come to the rescue.”

“Mmm, yeah, I guess so. I might get my demonic power back, too, y’know, if there’s a lot of people around.”

“Hoad! Tiperay!”

She still flashing that car ad around? 6, if you were going to ask.

Yes about the car ad, and yes I was going to ask.

“Still, there’s not much point worrying about it if we don’t know what’s even going to happen. I’ll just worry about the most likely scenario, which is absolutely nothing happens and it’s just another normal day.”

You know, you saying that has all but guaranteed that it’s not going to be.

“Hm? How do you mean?”

“What do you _think_ I mean?”

I give Alas Ramus a pat on the head.

“I’m gonna keep on working. That’s all. If I can’t keep this girl fed, then we’re screwed, besides.”


	24. Chapter 24

“Ugh. I can’t take this.”

I collapse in the front foyer of my apartment, not even bothering to take off my shoes.

“It’s too much for to deal with…”

I groan to myself as I move to grab my bag and take my sandals off.

“…Why an I acting like such a wimp?! I’m just acting as Alas Ramus’s stand-in-mother. It’s not like I’m a c-c-cuh- _couple_ with… No! No way, no how, not _ever_!”

Who exactly are you making this defence to?

She’s talking to herself again. I brush my hair away from my sweat-soaked neck and forehead.

“…I should probably go to the hair salon or something…”

The cell phone in your bag suddenly begins to belt out the _Maniac Shogun_ theme.

I fumble through my bag and pick up the call.

“H-hello?!”

“Oh, hellooooo? This is Emeraaaaalda.”

“Huh? Eme?! I-I’m not looking forward to it or anything, all right?!”

Looking forward to what?

Her date with Maou, would be my guess.

“What are you taaaalking about? Oh, did I catch you in the middle of worrrk or somethiiing?”

Emeralda clearly has no idea what you’re talking about.

“Oh, um, no, it’s not, not like, it’s all right. _Totally_ all right.”

“Oh? Well, all riiight. You sound pretty agitated, thooough. I just want to call you because I’m getting a little worrrried.”

“Worried? I-I’m working, all right?! I haven’t forgotten about my obligations as the Hero or anything!”

“…Oh, gooood. _Such_ a relief.”

“Huh?”

“One of my ‘reeds’ told me the Church was up to something seeeedy, so I didn’t want anything bad to happen to youuuu, Emilia.”

Reeds?

Those are what she calls her spies.

“Oh? Well I wouldn’t be worried. There’s somebody with the Church here who made contact with me, that much is true. But she’s not like Olba. She can listen to reason.”

I give Emeralda a quick summary of the events of the last campaign.

She’s leery of a top Church official making contact with you at first, but she gets more at ease as your story continues.

“You made it sound like just another day, Emilia, but that sounded terribly daaangerous, no? That angel is still there with you, yes?”

“Well, yeah, but… We got some strong allies here in Japan, too, let’s just say. I don’t think we’ll need to worry about him too much for now.”

He seems to be throughly occupied by the tyrannical despot running the Hatagaya station MgRonald.

“Of course, I still don’t really know why they’re so intent on getting my holy sword back from me.”

“Hmm…And come to thiiiink of it, we’ve never given much though to the sword’s orrrigins, either. The Churrrch says it was bequeathed to us by the heavens years and years ago, but that’s just their storrry, hmm? I had best pursue this question on myyy end.”

That’s going to be a plot point later, isn’t it?

“Thanks. Try not to overdo it, though, okay? I’m sure you have your government work to think about, too. How’s the reconstruction effort going?”

What?

Emeralda’s part of coalition between the different governments of Ente Isla seeking to rebuild Isla Centurum.

“Ooooh, you’d better not aaaask me. I’m likely to whiiine at you the remainder of the day. But it amaaazes me to hear that Crestia Bell, the inquisitor feared as the ’Scythe of Death,’ is such a small and demure wooooman! If you think she can be trusted as an ally, well, that is wonnnderful news.”

“When it comes to ‘small and demure,’ I’d say you still take the cake, Emeralda.”

“Yesss, well, when I walk around the castle, I am often mistaaaken by the palace guard for a lost chiiild and the like.”

Emeralda _is_ meant to be an adult women, right?

Says the person whose character looks like a fourteen-year-old.

“So was that all you were warning me about?”

“Ah, yes! There was thaaat, yes, but I also had a question for youuu. Has Laila come over there?”

“Huh?”

What are you hinting at now?

“She said she was traveling to the marketplace outside of the castle a little while ago, but she’s not been heard from siiince. I know she didn’r have freedom to travel arooound much, so I figured of she was going somewhere, it’d be to you, soooo…”

“Well, I mean, even if she did, I don’t know what my mother even looks like… But, wait a sec, you were _living_ with her?”

“Liiiving, or let’s call it… Oool, I hesitate to use such a term with you Emilia, but perhaps you would say ‘crashing’ in my home?”

“Oh… Oh.”

Yeah, that seems the only sensible reaction to that.

“Well, anyway, there hasn’t been anyone else here lately apart from Sariel and that Crestia girl, and… Agh. Um, listen, um, I don’t know if this is related or not, but…”

I reveal all I know about Alas Ramus, while dancing around who she thinks her parents are.

“A small girrrl, done up like an apple? I’ve never heard of such a person, or devvvil for that matter, and here in the Western Island, we’ve not detected any large Gaaates opened lately apart from Crestia Bell’s.”

“You haven’t? …Hmm. I guess not.”

You guess not what?

Well… Alas Ramus’s name is Centuriat, right? So whoever sent her probably opened did so from Isla Centurum. Hence, not large Gates opening on the Western Island.

“Well, sorry, but I don’t have any leads here, either. I figure maybe she’s related to Laila somehow, but maybe I’m overthinking it. I’ll keep my eyes open, though, not that I’m capable of too much at this point.”

“Oh, no no no. She was always something of a free spiiiirit, so she may decide to drop by my doorstep todaaay for all I know. I just thought I’d let you knooow. And I’ll see what I can dredge up about the child without arousing to much suspiiicion. Bye for nowwww!”

“Oh, wait, Eme…!”

She’s already ended the call.

“…Oh, well, I guess. She couldn’t be that dangerous if she’s my mother, anyway.”

I leave my foyer and turn on my air conditioner and my TV at the same time.

“…Yeah. I really better hit the hair salon. Don’t want to look all sweaty and exhausted in front of him.”

As I mutter this to myself, I play with one of my hairs.


	25. Chapter 25

“Daddyyyy, can we go yet? Can we go yet?”

It’s still only nine, and we just finished breakfast.

She’s been ready to go since seven, and two-year-olds aren’t exactly known for their patience.

And that impatience’s been compounded by the fact that she’s only spoken to me on the phone for the last four days, hasn’t it?

Yep. Alas Ramus continues to tug on your arm.

I move to brush her away again…Wait a sec, I totally forgot something I wanted to do. I slap my knee in realization.

“Oh, right. Man, I’ve been working so hard lately, I totally forgot. Hey, Ashiya, I’m going out for a sec.”

“Your Demonic Highness, where are you going?”

This had better not be a convenient excuse to leave me with the kid, I’ve already had to spend a ton of time watching her while you’ve been at work.

“Over to Mr. Hirose’s.”

And, relax, I’m going to take Alas Ramus with me.

“I gotta talk to him about my bike.”

I turn to Alas Ramus and pat her head.

“About, you, that is, little one.”

“Oo?”

She tilts her head upwards as you do so.

I take Alas Ramus outside and begin walking hand-in-hand with her towards Mr. Hirose’s.

The shutter in front of the shop pops up just as you arrive.

“Mr. Hirose!”

“Hmm? Ohh, mornin’, Maou! What’s…”

He stops speaking for a moment when he spots Alas Ramus.

“…up?”

“Hey, uh, you can put luggage racks and stuff on the bike you sold me a bit ago, right?”

“Y-yeah, but…you didn’t…”

I pick up Alas Ramus.

"Wahbf!”

“Do you have any seats that would fit a little girl this size?”

Might I ask what you’re going to say to him regarding Alas Ramus’ origins?

I’m looking after her for some relatives.

You’re going to have to roll to see if he buys that.

17.

He finds the still finds the situation slightly odd, but decides you story is reasonable enough, and you spend the next hour browsing child seats before, finding a…5000 yen model that is to your liking.

“Man, _that_ was refreshing. I couldn’t have predicted his response any closer.”

Did you do that just to torment the poor man?

I spend the next little while attaching the child seat to Dullahan II’s front handle.

“That was terribly devious of you, Your Demonic Highness. What if this leads to certain untoward rumours around the neighbourhood?”

You don’t need to say it, I know this is the sort of question Ashiya would ask.

“Oh, it’s fine. I told him I was just watching her for some relatives.”

And he totally bought it.

“…My liege, may I ask you a question?”

“Yah?”

“There may be little point asking now, but what made you resolve to take in Alas Ramus in the first place?”

“You don’t like it?”

“No, not…not as such, Your Demonic Highness, but I merely thought that leaving her in Crestia’s care would have presented little in the way of issues to anyone…”

Yeah, well, I guess it's pretty much you, Suzuno, and Chi taking care of her. Sorry 'bout that."

“No, no, not at all…”

“You know, I just figured that, if something bad did happen in the end, I better be the one who steps up and takes responsibility for it. We don’t have any proof of anything, and _I_ sure don’t remember anything about her, but…”

You decided to take parental responsibility for her anyway?

“But, you know, I got a little worried.”

As I say this, I tap my forehead several times.


	26. Chapter 26

“Your Demonic Highness, please - _please_ \- be careful out there! You are dealing with the Hero, and there is no telling when or where she may strike!”

“Chill out. If things get that bad, I’ll just haul ass over to security, okay? Whatever happens to me, I’ll make sure Alas Ramus stays safe.”

That’s certain to calm him down, great job, Your Demonic Highness.

I take Alas Ramus and leave the Devil’s Castle.

Why is that always your response when you don’t want to talk to my character anymore?

It works doesn’t it? You’ve never followed me to continue the conversation.

I follow him.

You _had_ to spite me, didn’t you?

Well, yes. And also Ashiya was going to follow you anyway, he’s running surveillance, remember. I did take the time to throw on a pair of sunglasses as a disguise, though.

I board the train at the Keio New Line, and yes, I do know I have to make transfers to reach the park.

I hide in the crowd and join you on the train.

After a series train transfers and an elderly couple raining a series of ‘so cuuuuutes’ on Alas Ramus, you reach your destination.

I begin to make my way to the surface. I don’t want Emi accusing me of being late, after all.

I hide behind a pillar as I watch you with a look of concern. Do I see any threats?

None.

“Nobody threatening nearby… My liege, I swear to you that I, Ashiya, will protect your back from the shadows that lurk among us!”

16 that I spot him.

Given how conspicuous he is, that’s more than enough.

Huh?

“You’re the most threatening-looking person here, Ashiya. You should really get rid of those sunglasses. Did you them at the hundred-yen shop? They look terrible on you, and you’re sticking out like a sore thumb.”

“Ah! Ah, ah, ahhh! Ms. S-Sasaki!”

I leap backward at the unexpected sight.

“Wh-wh-wh-when did you come here?!”

“I was on the same train as you. Suzuno texted me your plan. …But, really, if something _does_ happen here, aren’t you more of a problem than Maou is?”

“H-how do you…?”

“You don’t have a cell phone, right, Ashiya? How are you supposed to contact anyone?”

“I-I was planning to look for a pay phone, but…”

I imagine the GM would make you roll to see if you even found one.

“… I kinda figured that’s what you’d say. If you don’t have any way of making contact… Maou doesn’t know you’re tailing him, right?”

“Um, yes, well, I thought it would be distracting if Emilia found me, so…”

Then might I ask why you didn’t prepare a bit more this little convert op?

“Well, I can lend you my cell phone if we need it. Let’s get going. We’re going to lose them!”

I begin to press towards the exit.

“But, Ms. Sasaki, why are you…?”

“I know this is the right thing, but I’m still worried!”

“…Ah. My pardons.”

We begin clambering up the escalator in pursuit of Maou and Alas Ramus.

I’m looking at a station map to try and identify the gate I’m supposed to meet Emi at.

Alas Ramus is running at full steam, prodding you to hurry up.

I’m waiting by the gate, with my hair pulled back and wearing a wide-brimmed hat.

I gasp upon noticing you.

“Wh-what is it, Ms. Sasaki?”

“Yusa… Wow. She’s really trying hard today.”

“Mmh… That isn’t Emilia, is it? Hmph! Not very practical battle wear. Does she not realize she is the Hero?”

“What’s Maou dressed in today, Ashiya…?”

“The same as always.”

I’d assume we’d’ve heard something if he wasn’t.

“No need for him to dress in such ostentatious frippery for Emilia’s sake. And even before Alas Ramus, the presence of Urushihara has already made our budget a tragedy unfolding in slow motion. There was no money to purchase new clothing for the summer.”

Alas Ramus spots Emi and begins dragging Maou towards her.

I beam at Alas Ramus, but give Maou a glassy-eyed stare.

15 on spotting the both of them.

What _now_?

You spot Ashiya and Chiho watching Emi and Maou from behind a pillar.

“Hee-hee-hee-hee! What do you think? ‘Cause I think Emi Yusa’s got the perfect look going right now.”

I grab both Chiho and Ashiya by the shoulders.

“Oh… You’re Yusa’s friend…”

“M-Ms. Suzuki?!”

I snicker softly.

“Wh-what are you doing here, though?”

“That’s something I’d like to ask _you_ guys if anything! Here I was wondering what Chiho and Ashiya would be doing in the same place, and who do I spot you looking at but Emi and Maou, huh? So I figured, hey, we’re all peas in a pod, here, I’ll just run up and say hi.”

I had to show up to work in this outfit, if it gives the two of you any clues.

And I’ve already sat out _waaaayyyy_ too much of this campaign.

“You wouldn’t _believe_ what a surprise it was to see her! I’ve _never_ seen her show up dressed up like that. It’s kinda hard to tell from this far, but she totally went to the salon yesterday. It’s, like, totally obvious up close.”

“R-really?!”

“Oh, are you interested to hear more?”

“That, I, um, it, it’s not that I, if I said no, I…”

My cheeks are bright red.

“Hee-hee! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to pick on ya that much. You really don’t have anything to worry about, Chiho. That’s just Emi being all obstinate, you know?”

“…Huh?”

“Emi and Maou, you know, they generally don’t get along too well, right? That’s just her was of putting up a wall. So she doesn’t get outdone by him. Y’know, though…”

I turn to Maou.

“It’s funny how you can try really hard with something like that and totally miss the mark sometimes. Maou, meanwhile… He’s totally natural. I’d say he won that battle.”

Alas Ramus begins to drag her two ‘parents’ towards the Tokyo Big-Egg stadium.

“Well, there they go.”

I grin mischievously.

“What’re you two gonna do?”


	27. Chapter 27

Alas Ramus is staring at the water swaying in time to the music.

“Ooooooooo…!”

“Hey.”

“Whaaat?”

“You put some sunblock on her, right? It’s pretty sunny out.”

“Ahh… Well, they said it’d be okay as long as doctor prescribed it, but…”

Uninsured, undocumented child.

Where did you read sunblock’s only okay if a doctor prescribes it?

He had me Google child-rearing info, that is part of what I found.

“Well, you could at least think about buying her a hat or something. There’s clothing shops in Lagoon here, so let’s go there first. If you’re gonna step up and care for her, you really need to start looking out for what’s best _for her_.”

“Yeah… Sorry ‘bout that. …Whaddaya think, Alas Ramus? Having fun?”

“Oooooohhh… Aaaahhhh…!!”

She’s still absorbed in the fountains.

“Absorbed in the fountains, huh? Well, great.”

We continue watching from the overlooking terrace.

“Wow, what a happy li’l family, huh? That girl’s sure taken a shining to Emi, hasn’t she?”

“…She’s so cute.”

I sigh at the sight of Alas Ramus.

We watch the show to the end before walking into the Lagoon mall in search of a hat.

“Hey, a UniClo.”

“Forget it. Why are you so preoccupied with UniClo anyway?”

“What? It’s cheap. Cheap and easy. Nothing I don’t need.”

“You could at least _try_ going to another store sometime. I don’t know what kind of picture you’ve got in your mind, but it’s really not that much more expensive.”

“Huh.”

“Don’t just go ‘huh’! What happens if Alas Ramus winds up being as low-class as you are?”

“Nothing wrong with being frugal.”

The two of you are starting to sound like an old married couple.

I think they’ve gone a bit beyond _starting_.

True dat.

“…Let’s go, Alas Ramus. We don’t need this dead weight with us.”

“Ded way?”

I pull Alas Ramus along ahead of Maou, onto the clothing floor. I begin checking out a few of the children’s clothing selections.

“Hmm… These are still gonna be a little big for her. She’s gonna grow pretty quickly, though. I guess getting a bigger size isn’t too bad, as long as she’s not dragging it behind her. …And I notice _you_ aren’t speaking up. You realize I’m still talking about several months down the line when I say ‘quickly’, right?”

“If you’re waiting for to chime in every time you open your mouth, keep waiting. I’m not exactly interested in long conversations with you.”

Hasn’t stopped you anytime before now.

“Look, how long are you planning to keep this child anyway?”

“…Who knows?”

It’s really up to the GM, not me.

“Maybe her parents’ll show up today. Maybe I’ll be taking care of her until she gets married.”

“Married…? I’m sorry if I keep asking this, but are you _sure_ it wouldn’t be better for everyone if you just stayed in Japan forever?”

“Ooh, hey, this one look pretty good. That’ll cover her down to her shoulders, too.”

Huh?

Nice to know it isn’t only me he does that to.

I pluck a straw hat off the clothing rack and try it on Alas Ramus.

It fits her surprisingly well.

“Maybe this isn’t something I should ask, but don’t you care about the generals you left behind in Ente Isla or anything?”

You’re not avoiding this conversation.

“Them? Yeah, I’ve given up on those bastards.”

“…Huh?”

Nice to see you’re concerned for the troops you left behind.

“Hey, Alas Ramus, you can get this with a pink ribbon or a yellow one. Which one do you like?”

 “Mmm, Market!”

Knowledge roll.

7.

You don’t notice any special meaning in the word she uses to refer to the colour yellow.

I shrug.

“Haven’t you ever thought about why Emeralda and Albert and Olba and Suzuno just pop over here whenever, like, they’re in the next city over?”

What’s the price on this hat anyway? …Oh dear god.

“…It’s been over a year now. I kinda missed my window. Whatever part of the Ente Isla invasion force survived must’ve been stamped out ages ago. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be having the most powerful fighters of the human world going on grand tours of Earth all the time."

That’s… actually really sound logic.

“You… You think so? Well, jeez, _that_ was easy. Guess that’s the demon realm for you, huh? The big man at the top falls, and the rest just crumbles to dust.” 

“I couldn’t put it better. Without me, those guys are worthless. But even if I went back now, without any of my power, I’d be killed whenever the next would-be king decided to come around. That…”

I resign myself to the purchase and make my way to the register.

“…That, and even if I _did_ regain my Devil King strength, no way I could conquer the world now.”

“W-well, yeah. With the demons annihilated, there’s not much point calling yourself Devil King anyway, huh?”

“Demons annihilated? What’re you smoking, lady?”

I sneer at you.

“When you humans fight a war, does every single one of you march down to the battlefield en masse?”

“Huh?”

You hadn’t joined us yet, but we actually left behind _named_ NPCs, and they’re presumably still around.

I proceed on to the register. I have the cashier snip off the price tag before placing the hat on Alas Ramus’ head.

“Mph! Cute?”

Alas Ramus sidles up to the provided mirror as she stares upward at you.

“Oh, yeah. Totally cute!”

A silly grin crosses my face.

“Hey, can we worry about her clothing next time? It’s right around lunchtime, so the attractions oughtta be pretty empty right now. Which one you wanna go on first, Alas Ramus?”

“There, Daddy! There!”

She’s pointing to the Free Fall ride.

“Oooh, you’re probably gonna be either too young or too short for that one, girl. How ‘bout we wander around a little and check things out?”

I begin to walk Alas Ramus towards the rides.

I follow after the two, still in fog.


	28. Chapter 28

“I’ve never seen two people look so depressed over buying a hat before.”

“Yeah, who can say? Maybe it was really expensive or something.”

I idly pick up a hat similar to the one Maou bought and look at the price.

Alright, here ya go.

“Two… _thousand_ , five hundred yen… He…he completely blew through the money we saved on that free pass…”

I can’t leave you alone with money can I?

You say that, yet you left Urushihara home alone. And Suzuno ain’t gonna be able to stop him from shopping online.

Don’t remind me.

“Huh? Hey, Ashiya, you need something to drink? You don’t look too good.”

“Ha! Ha-ha-ha! No, uh, no worries! Onward, ha-ha-ha-ha!”

I hang the hat back up with a shrill chuckle.

“I gotta say, though, this is a lot more _normal_ than I thought it was gonna be. Like, they’re acting all mature and stuff, you know? I thought I’d step in if they started fighting or whatever, but I guess they’re playing nice for the sake of the kid, huh?”

“Huh? What, so you weren’t here just to gawk at them, Suzuki?”

“Oooh, Chiho, you shouldn’t look down on your big sis like that!”

I judgementally pinch you cheek.

“Mmph, fthorry…”

“I’m gonna deny that or anything…”

Then why did you decide to pinch my cheek?!

“..but, like, what else am I supposed to do with my time off, y’know?”

Get a hobby!

“I just figured I’d observe her and provide backup if need be.”

“Ffraffup?”

“Sure. That girl’s from Maou’s family, right? If the girl likes Emi that much, she’s gonna be awfully hurt once she goes away. At times like that, it helps a lot just to have someone to drink with you, right? Someone who knows what you’re going through to some extent.”

“Ffh…”

I release your cheek.

Finally. I rub my face with my hands.

“Right.”

“And also, I’m kinda interested in how Emi acts when she’s out with a guy, y’know?”

“See? See? You’re just gawking at her! You pinched me for nothing!”

“I’m not _gawking_ , Chiho. It’s kind of like being a voyeur, if anything.”

“That’s even worse!”

Emi nearly killed Urushihara over similar charges!

“Oh, are _you_ one to talk, Chiho? You aren’t even related to Maou.”

You’re not related to Emi, either!

Why are _you_ sneaking around him like that?”

“I-I-I’m not, that’s…”

“Aw, c’mon. I’m not gonna tell anyone. Just go ahead and tell you big sis what’s up.”

“…I am glad _someone_ is enjoying this, at least.”

Could you two cut the gossip?

“Aw, don’t be such a party pooper!”

I grab you by your shoulder and wrench you backwards.

“Agh!”

“And you, too, Ashiya… I know Emi’s the indirect reason your company went out of business and all, but she’s not your enemy any longer, is she? She’s not gonna prey on you guys or anything, so why’re you acting so serious about this?”

Well, it’s not so much prey on us as it is cut off our heads and spit on our corpses.

I can’t just tell Rika that, now can I?

“You know what, Ashiya? I think you should try reading some Natsume Soseki sometime.”

“What? Why? Where’d that come from?”

“Oh, I just think it’d have a lot to teach someone like you. Like, how not to act so tough and formal all the time, y’know?”

I continue at a whisper.

“Still… I do like that a lot more than taking the subtle approach, though.”


	29. Chapter 29

You totally caved. 

She wanted those balloons!

“Ugh…I can just see it now. The doting daddy, unable to say no to his daughter.”

I take a drink of some mineral water as I watch Alas Ramus on the merry-go-round.

She’s shrieking with delight. Eventually the ride stops and she and Maou get off. Alas Ramus’ attention is immediately diverted by a poster advertising a hero show playing in the park.

I’m staring off into space, clearly thinking hard about something.

“Emi? …Hey, Emi?”

What are you doing?

You just dropped a huge bombshell on her, she’s still going to be thinking about it.

What bombshell?

That apparently the army that invaded Ente Isla wasn’t the entire population of the demon realm.

“…What? Oh, sorry. What is it?”

“Why’re you spacing out on me, man? Is the heat frying your brain?”

“It—it is _not_! Stop sidling right up to me like that! What is it?!”

I point to the poster Alas Ramus is staring at.

“I think Alas Ramus wants to check this out.”

“…Did you buy a TV or something?”

Huh?

“A TV? No. The antenna on the roof’s still analog, even.”

Well then why would she want to go see a show, since it’s like she’s seen one before.

“But, I dunno, Alas Ramus really seems to dig all these rainbow colours. I don’t know if this rings a bell in her mind or something, but…”

That’s what she liked about the balloons, too.

“That’s fine with me, but it’s gonna cost you money apart from the Passport, right? Can you cover that?”

“……………..I can apologize to Ashiya later. I already bought that hat anyway.”

All the more reason not to spend _more_ money, that was an expensive hat.

“…Well, whatever. I’ll cover Alas Ramus’s ticket, okay? You can find a way to cover yours.”

“ _Thank_ you.”

I bow gratefully to you.

I head right over the nearby ticket booth.

The clerk meekly bows to you in response. The next show is sold out, and the next one is two hours away.

“The next show’s sold out! It’s gonna be two hours until the next one!”

I yell this information back to Maou.

“Seriously? Well, how ‘bout we get tickets for the next show and have some lunch for now?”

“All right! In that case, two adults and one child.”

The clerk hands you the tickets. An adult ticket is fifteen hundred yen, so you can collect that much form Maou while I remove the cost for the others.

I go back to Maou.

“Here. One adult ticket. That’s fifteen hundred yen.”

“Got it.”

We make the exchange and then head towards a nearby restaurant.

“Boy, they’re getting really friendly with each other now, hmmmmm?”

I don’t respond.

Neither do I.

“One those superhero shows, though, huh? I never went to any of those when I was a kid. Whaddaya think? Wanna go in?”

“That’s…a tad much.”

“I kinda doubt we’d get a lot out of it.”

“No? Why not?”

My brows furrow in confusion.

Why are you so determined to follow them _everywhere_ they go?

“Well, it’s kind of for little kids, isn’t it? It’d be sorta weird if the three of us went in by ourselves…”

Unless you’re volunteering to try and disguise yourself as our kid.

“Wow, somebody’s behind the times. This isn’t just a father-son thing anymore.”

“Huh?”

“Even grown-ups like watching this stuff these days. All by themselves, even. You used to hear about the ladies going crazy for the handsome heroes in kids’ shows before they transform into their fancy outfits. This is kinda their chance to see those characters in real life, you know? Or their prerecorded voices, at least.”

“Huhhh?”

“And this anime here, with the girls…”

Fine, you win.

“…That’s _Pretty and Pure_ , right? I used to watch that when I was younger, but there’s so many characters to keep track of nowadays…”

“Some people dig that show because they’re just anime fans, but a lot of the voice team have gone on to become successful actors, too, y’know? I saw a magazine article about how there’s this huge mass of male fans who go nuts for it.”

“Wow… So I guess it’s got appeal for men and women, young and old, huh?”

“No, I, er, I would hesitate to go that far, but…”

Just because you’ve apparently been won over, does not mean Ashiya’s willing to spend money on this.

Cheers erupt from the stadium. Some of the voices are clearly not prepubescent.

My face freezes.

I snicker.

“How ‘bout we we go eat some lunch, too?”

I point out an open-air Italian café directly in front of the stage show entrance.


	30. Chapter 30

“We’ve got a pretty good position, huh? Pretty amazing to think it’s all advance tickets only. I mean, look at that stage. It’s so tiny.”

“I heard if they didn’t assign seats, the kids in the back wouldn’t be able to see the show.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“Well, y’know, there’re a lot of…folks out there, in the world.”

What does that mean? And can you really not move over at all? You’re too close for Emi’s comfort.

It’s a full house, so no, he can’t. The sun is beating down on you, and with all these people packed in, it feels a good four or fives degrees hotter than outside. After a short wait, the loudspeakers blast out a theme song, while smoke and fireworks zip across the stage. These loud explosions are enough to send Alas Ramus reeling. A large tree prop is standing in the middle of the stage, about the height of a two-story building. Each of the fives heroes in the show drops from it, landing with their own signature pose. These heroes appear to be modelled after ninjas.

“Wow, they’re falling form pretty high up!”

“…Why are you so impressed? You’re the Devil King!”

“Do ninjas really go around in those colours, though?”

“It’s a kids show. Relax!”

But a ninja is fluorescent pastel colours would be no good at stealth…

You really decided to latch onto _that_ , of all things?

The ninja team begins fighting a group of enemies. They appear to be space aliens.

“Dang! Those guys can really move! They should, like, join Special Forces or something.”

The children in the audience cheer loudly when the alien’s boss appears on stage.

“Oooh, rock on! The villain’s got a fan club!”

Of course you would say that.

“They’re not cheering _for_ him. They’re cheering about how he’s gonna get his ass kicked in a sec.”

“Oh, quit ruining the fun, man! Hey, Alas Ramus, which side are you—”

Hang on.

What?

Alas Ramus has been strangely quiet, normally bright colours get her all excited.

I was wondering when one of you would notice. Alas Ramus is staring glassy-eyed at the stage, her face totally expressionless.

“Uh…Alas Ramus?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I dunno, she’s kind of spacing out. Hey, what’s up, Alas Ramus? Your tummy hurt or something?”

“Se…pila.”

Knowledge check, Maou.

I’d really like to know what you keep having us make these rolls for. 4.

“Huh?”

“Fall down…”

Try the roll again.

6.

“What? What is it?”

“Daddy, that’s Sepila!”

Again.

4 again.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

“All fall down from the tree. Mommy took me and ran. Market’s gone, too.”

Try again, this one’s easier too.

...3.

*sigh*

Apparently, his concern is preventing him from remembering whatever it is you seem to want him to.

Apparently.

“Tree? Market? What do you…”

The purple crescent moon mark appears again on Alas Ramus’ forehead.

“Agh!”

I tilt her hat to cover it up.

Can I catch a glimpse before is fully covered?

Make a perception roll.

17.

You catch a glimpse of the mark before Maou has a chance to cover it up.

“What…is that?”

“…Didn’t you notice it? That same mark showed up on her head the first time she showed up in my yard. It went away really quick, but…”

I start shaking Alas Ramus.

“Hey, Alas Ramus, speak to me!”

“Whoa, don’t shake her like that!”

What are you _doing_?

“We better get out of here. Um, pardon me! My child’s not feeling very well…”

I pick up Alas Ramus and shoulder my way out of the crowded arena.

I grab our belongings and follow her.

I jump into the Lagoon building in search of air-conditioning.

You quickly spot an empty bench.

I sit down.

“Devil King! Buy me something for her to drink!”

I grab the bottle oral rehydration formula and offer it to Emi.

“Uh, does this work?”

“Give it!”

I snatch the bottle from his hand and bring it to Alas Ramus’ mouth.

“Get me something else cold, too! Not to drink, but to put on her head and stuff to cool down!”

“R-right!”

I begin running off in search of a vending machine. Wish we knew what happened though, besides the dice deciding that I don’t know whatever the GM is hinting at.

“Is she alright?”

Someone’s calling to you, Emi.

I look up.

You see a young woman standing before you, clad in a long, white dress and a broad-rimmed white hat.

“Uh, yeah, she’s fine. I don’t think it’s heat exhaustion, so she must have an upset stomach or something…”

“…Mommy?”

That’s Alas Ramus, just so we’re clear.

“I’m right here. Are you okay?”

“Uh-huh…”

Her voice still indicates she isn’t all there.

I try to hide her forehead from the young woman, by pretending to clear it of sweat. I don’t know who she is, but I don’t want her seeing that mark.

“May I have a second?”

The girl kneels down to eye level, her hand above Alas Ramus’ head.

“Wh-what’re you doing?”

She’d better not hurt her.

“Sshh. This will take just a moment.”

On this girl’s ring finger, you can see a ring embedded with a small stone. It seems to shine purple in the sunlight.

“…Oo…ooh?!”

Suddenly, Alas Ramus picks herself up.

“Ngh? Ooh? Huh? Daddy?”

Alas Ramus swivels her head around to gauge her surroundings. The moon mark seems to have disappeared.

“Ah, Mommy—”

I pick Alas Ramus up, putting her behind me as I face this mysterious young woman.

“There’s no need to be so distrustful. I am not your enemy. Nor am I the enemy of this child, either… You have done well to keep Alas Ramus safe.”

“How did you know that…?”

I didn’t say that name in front of her or anything.

The woman smiles serenely.

“How could I not? It is a very important name to me.”

Hang on, is this woman Alas Ramus’ real mother?

“You need to be careful. They’ve probably noticed the Yesod fragment in that girl’s forehead now. The enemy will make their appearance soon. The Heavenly Regiment in Gabriel’s command are on the move.”

That doesn’t answer my question. In fact, it just created more questions.

“Yesod…fragment? Who’s Gabriel…? Wait. Are you—”

Yesod…Hang on! I do know what the GM’s been hinting at! I thunder in bearing a bottle of water and a can of juice.

“Hey! Emi! I got some stuff!”

“Mommy…”

While Maou was attracting your attention, the girl in white disappears.

“Good thing there was a whole wall of vending machines nearby. Here…Huh? Oh, did Alas Ramus wake up?”

Can I tell her what I know?

No. You heard none of that. You missed all the Yesod business, it would have no reason to cross Maou’s mind at this point.

…Yeah, you’re right.

“Hi, Daddy!”

“Oh, uh, hey. Well, jeez, that wound up being a lot of nothing, huh?”

No kidding.

“I mean, great, but… Hey, what happened, little lady?”

“Whaaa?”

“Um… Ah, never mind. But hey, Emi, what’s—”

I punch him in the stomach.

“ _Urphh_!”

“Why can’t you _ever_ see what’s going on? You never do! Never, never, _never_!”

“Wh-what?! What did I ever do?! Why’d you have to punch me like that?”

“Mommy’s scaaaary!”

This wouldn’t be happening if you just let me tell her.


	31. Chapter 31

16 on perception.

You spot Emi carrying Alas Ramus, practically dragging Maou along with them.

“Ooh! There he is! That’s him over there!”

“Hee-hee! Good job, Chiho! There’s the power of love, huh?”

“Aw, stop messing around like that!”

“Ughh… You must have a pretty wimpy stomach, Ashiya. Who ever heard of someone getting sick on olive oil? It took a long time finding you, you know.”

Seriously, how in the hell did you fail a Constitution check against Italian food?

“M-my apologies…”

The GM made me take penalties on all Constitution checks against food after what happened last campaign.

Which was entirely your fault, no one force fed you my cooking.

Yes, yes, where is Emi dragging Maou, anyway?

They seen to be heading for the Tokyo Eye, a giant Ferris wheel towering over the park.

“Are they going on the Ferris wheel? Emi looks like she’s dead set on it, but…”

“It must get pretty hot on that thing this time of year.”

“Oh, all the gondolas on that Ferris wheel are air-conditioned. As long as you’ve got sunscreen on, it’s pretty comfy.”

“H-how wastefully luxurious!”

It’s an amusement park attraction, it’s in their best interest to keep their customers comfortable.

“But you have to wonder… Why’s Emi so eager to drag Maou into an enclosed room suspended in the air, hmm?”

“Suzuki!!” 

“Jeez, I’m just joking, Chiho! Boy, you can look really scary when you want to, huh?”

Well _you_ keep insisting on needling a particularly sore spot.

“Well, you wanna follow them? I doubt we’ll see anything, but… Are okay with that Ashiya?”

You have to pay to get in the thing, after all. Plus you had your little episode.

“I think so…”

I nod.

“Y’know, I don’t know what drive the both of you to do this, but I don’t think anything bad’s really happening, huh?”

I hope not.


	32. Chapter 32

“Hello there, and welcome to the Tokyo Eye Ferris…wheel…?”

The ominous aura around the three of you has the attendant groping for words.

“Three!”

I thrust the passes at the attendant.

That behaviour isn’t helping the girl’s impression.

“Right! Good afternoon! We’ll be glad to take a photo for you for you guys right over there! Then you can buy a print of your special day at that booth over there!! Feel free to take a look once you’re done on the wheel!!”

There is another attendant standing near the gondola entrance, holding a digital camera.

“I…I don’t really need one…”

I don’t want a reminder of this day.

“Oh, we’ll be glad to delete it if you aren’t happy with it, ma’am! If you could just stand over there…”

She directs you a position across from the attendant with the camera.

“Good! Okay, if I could have Dad pick up the cute little girl and stand in the middle…”

She proceeds to likewise direct Maou.

“Perfect! Oh, if you would mind putting her balloons behind you a little?”

This attendant seems oddly enthusiastic about taking our photo.

“Daddy, what’s that?”

Alas Ramus’ eyes are on the camera in the second attendant’s hand.

“Hmm? Oh, that’s called a camera. They’ll use it to take you photo.”

“Photo?”

“Uhh, you know, a picture… It’s a tool that can draw pictures with magic. Just stay still and look into that black, round thing the girl’s carrying.”

Suppose that is the best way to explain it so that she’ll understand.

“Ohhh!”

She starts staring into the lens, curiosity taking over.

“Okay, can I have Mom look this way, please?”

I adjust my pose, simply because I don’t want to look contrarian around the attendant.

“Greeeat! Okay, here we go! One, two, and… _cheese_! …Super! That was a nice picture! Come on back down here if you’d like to make a purchase later!”

…Can we board the gondola now?

The three of you are greeted by blasts of chilly air and peppy background music.

“…Ooh. Chilly.”

“Be careful with those balloons, okay? It’ll take about fifteen minutes to go around once. No smoking, eating or drinking allowed inside the gondola. Have a great trip!”

The attendant shuts the door.

“Ooh, they’re already on! They’re gonna get away!”

Again.

“Hurry!”

I hurried throw some money into the ticket purchasing machine.

Someone suddenly calls out from Chiho’s side.

"Um, excuse me.”

“Huh?”

I turn around.

Ashiya and I get in line for the Ferris wheel.

The person who called out to Chiho is an older woman, with a child young enough to be her grandson by her side. She seems to be having trouble with the ticket machine.

“Do you have any idea how to work this machine?”

“Oh, sure. First, you put you money in here… This is a touch panel, so…”

I’m guessing this is what was confusing her.

“I don’t think there’s a children’s rate for this Ferris wheel, they’ll both cost this much. So just push the number for how many tickets you want…”

I have to go through all the steps with her don’t I?

Yep. Once she’s finally purchased her tickets, the woman thanks you profusely.

That was a waste of time for all of us.

We're not still with you, you know.

“Dahh! Oh, no!”

We start getting into the Ferris wheel car.

“……Huh?”

I begin looking around.

“Huh? Huhhh?”

Your eyes catch Rika’s as the latter is staring out the gondola window.

“Huhhhhhh?”

You suck, you know that?


	33. Chapter 33

“All right. Can we talk now?”

‘Cause I’m honestly curious as to what he’s figured out.

It’s only you, Maou, and Alas Ramus stuck in a gondola. So yes, it’s a safe place to talk.

“I should’ve known from the start you were acting fishy. Why did you come out and say that you’d take this girl? You _hate_ dealing with annoying crap like that.”

“Oh, well, that…”

“And back when that moon thing appeared on her forehead, you acted like you knew what it was, didn’t you? Out with it! Everything! Right now!”

Are you going to stop talking long enough for me to tell you?

“Mommy! What’s that? That big thing?”

Alas Ramus is pointing out the window. Lest you forget that she is still here.

“Um… That’s the Tokyo Skytree.”

“Yeah. That’s where all the digital TV transmitters are. Thanks to _that_ , Daddy has to pay for some stupid set-top box if he wants…”

“Don’t change the subject!”

How many cars back are we?

Two. Not that you could hear them even if you were hanging on the outside of their box.

That’s not what I meant.

“Dehh… If we were just a little faster, we could see what was going on inside…”

I’m sitting opposite of Ashiya staring at my feet.

“Is there something wrong, Ms. Suzuki?”

“Agh! Huh?!”

You’ve suddenly gotten very quiet.

“Uh, I, um, she, I’m sorry that — that I left Chiho, is all…”

“We were certainly in a great hurry, yes…”

I lean a back a bit in my seat.

In the enclosed space, your leg brushes against Rika’s.

I start blushing.

“Are you all right? Your face is a little red. Did you get sunburned?”

“T-too close!”

“Hmm?”

I flail my arms in response and lean back as far as humanly possible.

“Oh! Um. No. It’s fine, it’s fine! I guess that sunscreen sure doesn’t work as advertised, huh? Yep.”

I pay no particular mind, and begin taking in the view outside.

Like master, like servant, apparently. I’m sitting on a bench near the gondola entrance, brooding over a can of chilled green tea.


	34. Chapter 34

“So what?! Are you talking? Are you not talking?! You want to die?!”

“Give me some more _choices_ , man! You’re gonna be a bad influence on this kid!”

Threatening to kill her Daddy in front of her and all.

“I mean, c’mon, does it really matter? It’s not like I _did_ anything. I’m just fine with being Alas Ramus’s dad, okay?”

“Maybe _you_ are, but I’m not! Didn’t you see her?! That girl in the white dress, standing right in front of me? She talked about the Heavenly Regiment or something! If you want to stay on my good side, you better spit out everything you know, start to finish, right now!”

“See her? See _who_?!”

I missed her, remember?

“And since when was I _ever_ on your good side?!”

“I’m not talking about you! I’m talking about her!”

My eyes fall on Alas Ramus.

“…Someone gave it to me a long ago.”

Am I finally going to here about Maou’s backstory?

Looks like it.

I sigh.

“Back before I was Devil King… Really, I was just a snot-nosed little kid. Like, _maybe_ I could’ve taken on a _goblin_.”

Ah, yes, the bad old days of being level 1.

"Back then…and I’m talking way before you were born…the demon realm was a real pile of crap. There were all these different roving tribes, and all it took was eye contact for them to start ripping one another apart. I was part of one of the weaker tribes—you could’ve blown us away with the flick of a finger. And one of them did. This huge, musclebound demon with a peanut for a brain annihilated us all by himself. He couldn’t cast any magic, but he didn’t need it. The first and last memory I have of my parents is watching them breathe their last on the dirt.”

That’s actually kind of sad, and not the sort of thing you should be saying with a two-year old around.

“The survivors were all slaughtered in a battle against another rival tribe. I was tossed out like garbage with the rest of them. I was pretty close to dying. But one person cared enough about a dirty little brat like me to save my life.”

I’m looking at some far-off point in the distance.

“That was the first time I ever met an angel. I’d never seen such pure white wings before.”

Hold up, your life was saved, _by an angel_?

Yeah.

“Daddy what’s that?”

She’s pointing outside the gondola again.

“Hmm? Ooh, you a good eye, Alas Ramus! That’s called a blimp.”

“Bliiimp?”

She stares at it for a moment, mouth agape.

“Uh, where was I?”

“At the point where an angel saved your life…”

The good part, in other words.

“Oh, right. Anyway I was basically this goblin-level goon, so I tried taking her on, even though I was wounded.”

Of course you did.

What kind of PC would he be otherwise?

“Looking back, she must’ve been a pretty high-level angel, but anyway, she didn’t even bother paying attention to me. Not that she killed me or anything, though.”

I’d have to ask how you were telling this story if she did.

“I was still a demon, more or less, so I would’ve healed by myself, but that bastard kept checking in on me, talking to me about all kinds of different crap. I wasn’t able to move much, so I was forced to listen to it all. She taught me a lot of stuff I didn’t know. So it took a pretty long time for me to heal, I think. I was pretty banged up, after all. And after a while, it finally dawned on me this angel wasn’t gonna kill me. She kept on talking to me, no matter how much I hated it, so I started to learn a lot. But the more I heard from her, the more I realized there was no way angels should be going around helping demons. So I asked her: ‘Why are you helping me’”

“…And?”

“…Don’t laugh, okay? If you do, I’m not saying any more.”

Does that count for out of character laughter, too?

Yes.

“She said it was because I was crying.”

“Huh?”

“She said she never saw a demon crying before, so she just couldn’t let me be.”

“What reason did you have for crying?”

I wince.

I wasn’t poking fun, I’m genuinely curious. I’ve never seen a demon cry, after all.

“Well, a bunch of things. Like I said, I didn’t really care much about losing my parents or the people around me. If I had to put it into words… I guess I was just pissed. Pissed at how weak I was. Pissed at how unfair it was, just dying without even a whimper like that.”

Huh.

“But anyway, this angel took care of me until I was healed, and taught me about a lot of stuff, too. That was the first time I learned there was such a thing as the human world.

This angel was his mentor?

Well, one of them.

There’s more than one?!

“And this girl…or the crystal she used to be, at least… She left it with me the day she went away. It was this beautiful violet crystal, shaped like a crescent moon.”

I lift up Alas Ramus.

“No! I’m looking!”

She yelps in protest.

“‘If you want to learn more of the world, take this seed. Plant it, and allow it to grow. Then, you will go far, Satan, my Devil Overlord.’”

“What?”

“That’s what she wrote in the note she behind. Literacy, too—that was another gift she gave to me. A revolutionary way to convey information, one that didn’t involve violence or crazed gibbering for a change. So I’ll gloss over the next two hundred years of glorious conquest, when I took the demonic rabble and forged it into a proper civilization, but there’s no way that ever would’ve happened without the knowledge she gave me. So that’s why I planted this crystal on the angel’s command—get this—it actually sprouted into a tree. Kind of a letdown, you know?”

This is all very interesting.

And you’re actually on the right track, for once.

I’m usually on the right track.

“I mean, it’s not like I was tutored and trained from birth to be Devil King. Back then, in the demon realms, you couldn’t spit without hitting someone whose name was Satan. We were taught that it was name of sone great demonic overlord, one who lived in an age before legend, blah blah blah. It’s really a miracle any kind of legend existed at all in that dump before I came around. I have no idea why the angel called me ‘Devil Overlord’, but I guess that’s where I got me start. With her.”

I give Alas Ramus a pat on the head.

She wiggles away and plasters herself against the gondola window.

“But, anyway, that sort of thing. In terms of the role I had in taking that purple crystal and making it into Alas Ramus, I guess you could make the case I’m her dad.”

“So would that angel be her true…?”

“It’d make sense, wouldn’t it? But it was just this plain old crystal when she gave it to me, so… I dunno if you’d really call that an embryo or whatever.”

“Who was it?”

“Nobody you know.”

That’s anticlimatic, isn’t it?

“…You aren’t trying to hide her from me?”

“I’m not trying to, but I don’t think she’s anyone that famous. She didn’t up in any of the sacred Church tracts or anything.”

When did you read _those_?


	35. Chapter 35

“Hey, but can you tell me why Alas Ramus is back to normal now? You know something about that, right?”

“She was healed by this girl dressed entirely in white. She out her hand above her, and that was all it took.”

“…Whoa, what’s up with that? Some kind of New Age deal?”

I seriously doubt what she did was aura healing.

“No! She was there when you got back! Didn’t you _see_ her?!”

Obviously not!

“It was like, I think her ring glowed a little bit, and then Alas Ramus was right back awake! Like she was having a dream or something!”

“I didn’t see anybody! What kind of ring?”

“Just a plain old ring. I think it had a purple stone in it, but…”

“…That’s definitely not _plain_ or _old_.”

Yeah, magic rings are never mundane.

“Did you notice anything else?”

“Well, I didn’t have much time before some idiot came in shouting at me like a crazy man.”

“C’mon.”

“Oh, and she said something about the Heavenly Regiment, and something about… Yesod fragment? I think that’s what it—

I swing a karate chop at her head. 12.

It lands square.

“Ow! Wh-what’d you do _that_ for?! I’m gonna kill you!”

“Look, are you _really_ a knight of the Church, or what? I swear! Young people these days are so stupid! At least try to learn something for a change!”

Sucks when people just gloss over important details, doesn’t it?

“Yesod… Yesod?! Not _that_ , dammit! Jeez, of all the things that bastard could’ve pushed on me… So that thing before, too…!”

“Wh-what? What’re you going on about all of a sudden?”

“Man, when we get home, Suzuno is going to call you _such_ an idiot.”

“Huhh?!”

I dunno, I mean I have idea what you’re talking about either.

Don’t worry, I’ll give you the info. This is what I had you doing those knowledge checks for.

“Look, doesn’t the word Yesod mean anything to—“

“Whaaaat, Daddyyy?”

“Uh?”

I stoop down to Alas Ramus’ level.

“Alas Ramus, listen…”

“Yeah, Daddy?”

“What’s that?”

I point out a red balloon.

“Gebba.”

“And that?”

I point to a dark-yellow balloon.

“Tiparuh.”

“And how about this bright yellow one?”

“Market. I like him!”

“And the white one?”

“Ketter.”

“Wh-what’s she going on about…?”

What’s happening right now?

“Okay, how about this?”

I fish a purple balloon out of the bunch.

“Me! Yeffod.”

“Oooh, good girl. You can say it and everything.”

“Oooo! Hee-hee!”

“I don’t really know why…but I got a feeling Alas Ramus is something way beyond a demon. Or an angel.”

“Huh?”

“Gevurah, Hod, Malkuth, Keter and then Yesod. They’re each the names of the Sephirah, the world-forming jewels that grow on the tree of Sephirot. I think…Alas Ramus might be the personification of Yesod Sephirah.”

Finally, the dice really didn’t want you to figure that out.


	36. Chapter 36

I’m wallowing in self-loathing.

Why?

I’ve been following you around, stewing in jealousy.

“Maou said he believed in me and everything, too…”

I am enveloped by a deep, helpless sense of shame.

“Maou… I’m sorry.”

I stand up and walk down the stairs.

You’re not going to wait for us?

No.

Not long after you leave, the gondola bearing Maou, Emi and Alas Ramus comes down.

“Whew… Sure is hot, huh?”

Alas Ramus and I step out of the gondola.

“Mmmph!”

I’m the last to exit.

“Thank you very much! We have your photo here if you’d like!”

I turn towards the voice.

You’re greeted with a print of the photo that was taken of you when you entered the Ferris wheel, complete with a commemorative backing.

“Oooooooo!”

Alas Ramus’ eyes gleam as she spots herself in the picture. Maou in the picture is vaguely half-smiling while Emi is outright sulking.

“…Ugh, I look terrible.”

I wince.

“You can have this photo, along with a special mounting you can write a personalized message on, for one thousand yen. We can make copies, too!”

“Wait, it’s not free?”

I slap you on the back of the head. It’s an amusement park, why in the world did you think the photo _would_ be free?

“Hmm… A thousand, huh…?”

“Daddy! Daddy, look! Look!”

Alas Ramus clearly wants the photo.

“…We’ll just take one, please.”

I take a one thousand yen bill out of my wallet, and accept the photo and hand it over to Alas Ramus.

“Yaaay!”

“W-wait, are you sure?”

“It’s just a thousand yen. You don’t have to act so cheap all the time. This is her first photo, isn’t it?”

“Well, I guess so, but…”

“And lemme just warn you! Next time Eme and Al get here, don’t show that to them! It’d put my position with them at stake, all right?”

“Oh, so it’s okay with Ashiya and Chi and Suzuno and so on?”

“It’s kind of too late with them, okay? Don’t you dare show Lucifer, though!”

Why? Won’t wreck your reputation with me.

No, you’d just mock me endlessly for it.

“You are being _so_ stupid.”

I snicker at you demands and crouch down to look at Alas Ramus.

“Okay, Alas Ramus, say ‘thank you’ to Mommy.”

“‘Ank you, Mommy!!”

Her childish squeal make everyone in the gondola area turn around.

My face turns bright red.

“I…I’m just doing what any mother would do! It’s not my fault her father’s such a worthless bum! C-Come on! Let’s go!” 

I begin descending the stairs.


	37. Chapter 37

I burst into Suzuno’s apartment.

“Yo! Bell! You around?!”

The sight of you outside your closet and bursting, shouting, through my door causes my almost choke on my udon.

“Nrgh… Wh-what is it, Lucifer?”

I notice the heaping pile of noodles in your bowl.

I follow your eyes.

“There’s _none_ for you.”

“Yeah, I don’t need any udon for a while. I ordered in some pizza just now, so…”

_WHAT_?!

What the hell else was I supposed to eat?! If I tried to cook something but ended up accidentally burning down the building I’d be in even worse shit.

How much damage could you possibly cause just doing something simple, like say, frying an egg?

Really, dude? My rolls tend to either be fantastic or utter crap. If anyone _could_ fuck up cooking an egg that badly…

“Wait! Dude, that doesn’t matter! Did you notice just now?”

“Notice?”

Notice what? The fallen angel running into my home for no apparent reason?

“Guess not, huh? Hey, do you know how to contact Emilia? I’ll call Maou myself. I think we better get’em back here ASAP.”

“Why? What do you mean?”

“Just do it, dude. I don’t know why, but this huge Gate just opened up somewhere in Tokyo.”

And apparently I’m the only one who passed his perception check for the thing.

“I think we got some trouble brewing.”

I run back into my room and launch the SkyPhone app on my computer.

I pick up my phone and bring up Emi’s number.

Both Maou and Emi’s phone’s ring as they are heading down the Ferris wheel stairs.

“Hold on, Emi. I got a phone call.”

“Huh? …Oh, me too. Wait a here a second, okay, Alas Ramus?”

As you explain the Gate to Maou and Emi five figures appear in the yard of Villa Rosa Sasazuka.

We both hurry back to the apartment.

And I’m assuming we’re unaware of the guests.

Of course. Not long after you leave Ashiya and Rika depart their gondola.

I look around the gondola loading zone.

It is almost deserted, and you can see no sign of the people you are looking for.

“W-we lost them?!”

I run down the stairs and scope out the shopping centre ahead of me.

Maou and Emi are still nowhere to be seen.

“I…I wonder where Chiho could’ve gone, too.”

I’m still notably red in the face.

“Maybe Chiho decided to chase after them… What should we do, Ashiya?”

“I…am not sure what we can do. We have no way of contacting her.”

“Huh?”

“I am afraid I don’t have my own cell phone.”

“What? Really?!”

“I had planned to borrow Ms. Sasaki’s phone if anything untoward happened…but now…”

What’s the park like right now?

Despite the fact that it is approaching evening hours, the park is still fairly full, too full to make searching for Emi and Maou a viable option.

“…Well, so be it. This is kind of pushing it more than I like, but…”

I take out my cell phone and bring up Emi’s number.

What are you doing?

“Uh, hey, Emi?”

_Serious_ —

I hold up my finger, indicating for you to shut up.

I ask Rika why she’s calling.

“Hmm? Oh, no, nothing too important… I was just wondering if your date with Maou was going okay and all…”

I tell her off for this, and remind her it’s just for Alas Ramus’ sake.

“Ha-ha-ha! Aw, sorry, sorry. I know, it’s for the sake of the kid and all. I’m not calling at a bad time, am I? Are you about to eat or…”

I tell her I’m heading back home.

“Huh? You’re going back home now?”

“What?”

I tell her Alas Ramus is worn out.

“Ohh, I gotcha. The kid’s probably pooped by now, huh?”

I reaffirm that fact, pointing out she’s still fairly young.

“Yeah. Well, at least she had a lot of fun today, right? Okay, sorry to interrupt you on the way to the station and all! Have a safe trip back!”

“…Well, that explains that.”

I shut off my phone and turn to Ashiya.

“They’re gone… Ugghh! That’s no fun.”

“In that case, there is little point in remaining here. Do you think Ms. Sasaki might have left as well?”

Well the two of you _did_ rudely abandon me when you went on the Ferris wheel.

“I dunno about that, but I guess it was kinda mean, huh? Leaving her down there and all. Hey, next time you see her, do you mind telling her I’m sorry?”

“Oh, no, not at all. In that case, I had best hurry on myself. Thank you for your help today.”

You’re both lucky I’m a forgiving person.

*snort*

Don’t you start. It’s not like you have any room to talk.

I turn to run off in search of my king.

“Oh… Wh-whoa! Wait a second!”

I stop you before you can start running.

“Um… So, uh… Oh, right! Here…”

I fumble around in my bag, take out a notebook, rip out a page and jot something down on it. Then I hand it Ashiya.

What did you write on there?

My phone number.

“Is this…your phone number?”

“It’s my…uh…”

“Your?”

“Well, you know, the next time something comes up…I could, like, maybe help you guys out…or whatever?”

Do you have any idea what ‘something’ might involve?

Yeah. I mean, for me, ‘something’ has entailed being kidnapped twice.

“I see… Well, certainly, I may just be calling your services again sometime in the future.”

“…Huh?”

Might I ask what you would be requiring her services for?

“As I mentioned, I have yet to purchase my own cell phone, so if I need something, I could use Maou’s to…”

Wait, bad idea.

What is?

Giving you cell phone number to someone I barely know, who also happens to be friend of Emi’s.

“Though…I feel, perhaps, that I have learned something from today. It may put an additional burden on our finances, yes, but perhaps the time has come for me to have my own cell phone. Have you any purchasing advice?”

My face flushes bright crimson.

“I understand you work for the same phone company as Yusa. I cannot say whether I would buy a device from your company or not quite yet, but if you have the free time, I would greatly appreciate some guidance when I make my choice.”

“Uh… Sure! Yeah, give me a call anytime!”

I nod eagerly.

“Thank you very much. In that case, I will be sure to contact you soon…from a public phone, I imagine.”

“All right…”

“I’d best be off, then.”

I give you a light bow and then run off towards the rail station.

“No way… Oh, man, what an I doing…? This is totally nuts! What am I gonna do… What am I gonna do… What am I gonna do?!”

Just realizing what a brilliant decision you just made?

I begin to walk unsteadily towards my rail station.


	38. Chapter 38

“Whoa, whoa, you didn’t say anything about visitors.”

Well it’s not like we _knew_ about them.

I flash an easy smile, but make sure to keep Alas Ramus behind me.

“So what happened first? That Gate, or this?”

_Obviously_ this happened first, and then our captors were kind enough to give each of us one phone call.

“I apologize, Devil King… We were caught completely unawares.”

“Yeah, I’ll admit I didn’t think they would make a move _that_ quick.”

“Ohh, there’s no need to blame them, mm-kay? They were nice enough to give you two a buzz, after all!”

Saved me the trouble of having to round you up.

“Besides, we aren’t doing anything too rough, ya know? It’d be a _huuuge_ win-win for all of us if we could talk this out, so hopefully we can avoid sticking points and stuff like that, mm-kay?”

“Gabriel?”

“Ooh, bingo! Right square on the head! You _must_ tell me how you guessed! Have we met before?”

Have they met before? I really wouldn’t be surprised at this point if they had.

No. Which is why I’m asking how he guessed.

“Yeah, uh, I heard that one of the archangels up there was this huge freak that made your head hurt whenever you talked to him.”

“Aww, that’s just being mean! Hey, what kinda rumours are people spreading about me when my back’s turned? I’m gonna have to bang some _heads_ around, if you know what I mean!”

But no, seriously, how did you guess?

“That, are you’re the guardian angel of the Sephirah known as Yesod, aren’t you?”

Oh, okay, that makes sense.

“Ee-hee-hee! You _do_ know how to flatter a man, don’t you?”

“Can you knock that off?”

Knock what off? This is how Gabriel talks.

“All right. Let’s just cut the crap and get to the point. What do you want?”

“Well, that girl hiding behind you, for starters. And, ooh, if you don’t mind my being totally greedy, Emilia’s holy sword as well! Also, we ate all the pizza Lucifer ordered from Pizza Hat. Sorr-eeee!”

Pizza Hat? You’re not even trying anymore.

“You ordered that _now_? _Now_ , of all friggin’ times?!”

And much did you order that it was able to feed _four_?

“Oh, stop getting your whiskers in a bunch! We’ll pay for it later, mm-kay?”

Why is it that our supposed enemies are more conscientious of our budget than some of our supposed allies?

“That’s not what I’m worried about! …Well, okay, I _am_ , but still!”

“Oh, wait, wait, wait! How ‘bout this: Give us the girl, or you’ll never see your precious pizza money again!”

“What kind of parent would give up his daughter to a bunch of kidnappers to get out of a pizza tab?!”

I dunno, I think are people out there who would actually do that.

“Besides, aren’t you guys kind of late? How many days d’you think she’s been here with us?”

“Hey, now, maybe it was a few days to you, but we’ve been searching for centuries by this point. Centuries! So cut me a little slack if we were off tad, mm-kay? I mean, when I picked up pulses from the Yesod fragment, I was just about beside myself! You wouldn’t believe what a doggie downer it was when that girl’s fragment was taken away from the Devil’s Castle on Ente Isla. I was like, ‘Oooh, not yet _more_ centuries spent searching for that thing again…’—Oh! Right! ‘Cut the crap,’ you said!”

Yes, _please_.

“Yes yes yes! Are you giving us the girl, or not? Which is it?”

Well, if this guy is the guardian of the Yesod Sephirah, then wouldn’t that make him Alas Ramus’ real parent?

Yeah, I guess, but she’s been awfully quiet throughout this whole thing. You’d think if this was her real dad she’d be more excited about seeing him.

You could try asking her about him, see how she reacts.

Good idea.

“Hey, Alas Ramus? Do you know this big lummoux here at all? ‘Cause it sounds like he wants to take you with him.”

“No!! I _haaaate_ him!!!!”

“Nooooooooooooo!!!”

That seems a bit overdramatic, even for Alas Ramus.

That was Gabriel.

_Really_?

“Stop calling me ‘big,’ you! Words can hurt, mm-kay?”

_That’s_ what he found most insulting about that exchange?

“Market, ’n’ Ketter, ’n’ Binah, ’n’ Cocama, all gone! I _haaate_ him!!”

Gabriel brings a head to his head.

“Ooooh, twist the _knife_ , why don’t you?”

“…I don’t really get what’s going on here, but if Alas Ramus isn’t up for it, then I don’t care if you’re her dad or not. She’s not going anywhere.”

“Awwww… Okay, how ‘bout the holy sword…?”

“I’ll pass, thanks. I don’t care if the gods themselves beg me for it. I’m not handing it over to anyone until I fulfill my mission.”

“…Ooooh, you are making this _awfully_ difficult, you know that? What kind of Hero and Devil King is this? So difficult. I really don’t want to get rough here, but now that I’ve found this girl, I’m kind of beholden to get her back, sooooo…”

“Like I care.”

“The holy sword, I _suppose_ I can do without. Even if Sariel screwed the pooch on _that_ one, at least we know where it is, more or less. But I’m gonna have to put my foot down when it comes to the girl. So…please? Just give ‘er back?” 

“Nope.”

She was kind of mine firrrrrst…”

“And I’m her dad now.”

“No matter what?”

“No matter what.”

“Even if it means you versus everybody in heaven?”

“Sounds like a risk I’ll take. I ain’t gonna make this kid cry.”

_Yes_.

Well you just made the GM very happy.

“…So difficult. This really gets my goat, do you understand… _that_!?!?”

Gabriel releases a blast of holy energy from his entire body. It’s strong enough to…nearly crush everyone against the apartment’s walls and causes his feet to bore a pair of holes in the tatami mat floor.

“I really hate forcing people like this. If you wanna surrender anytime, don’t be shy about sayin’ it, mm-kay? Y’know, even if you had all your Devil King strength, I’d probably still win and all, right? So…maybe just give her back?”

He’s bluffing.

Is he?

…Holy shit he isn’t bluffing.

I designed this guy for the lategame.

“…Damn, are you serious?”

He _is_ one of the Sephirot guardians, those angels tend to be incredibly powerful. And again designed for the lategame.

“Well it’s still a no from me.”

Of course it is.

“I’m the lord of all demons. I love doing things humans and angels just hate. Once I conquer the world, I’m gonna raise this girl to be the heir to my throne.”

“I’ll try to go easy on you, mm-kay? It wouldn’t be fair otherwise, what with your total lack of demonic force and all. …And forget about the surrender thing, too!”

“Maou!!!!”


	39. Chapter 39

“Maou…”

I’m standing atop the stairway, sweaty and out of breath.

“Chiho?! No! Get away!”

I rush to warn Chiho away.

I shake my head.

“…I thought I should apologize for today…”

“For today?”

“And then…this happened… I know I can’t really do anything, but I couldn’t just sit there.”

Well at least you didn’t try and tackle him.

“…You must be from this world, huh? Well, this isn’t anything you’d be familiar with. Calling police isn’t gonna help at all. I bet you won’t believe me, but me and this Sadao Maou guy…”

“I know all that!”

Thanks for stopping what was no doubt going to be another long-winded speech.

“I live here in Japan, but I know all that. All about Maou — about Satan, and Emilia the Hero, and Ente Isla, too. That…and how you’re probably an angel here to pick up Alas Ramus.”

Gabriel shakes his head in disbelief.

“Well! I was impressed enough that you’ve been interacting so naturally with visitors from another world, but you even spotted me right off as an angel! Heavens be! Do I really look that angelic to you?”

“…Up to now, if anyone’s done anything really bad to Maou or Yusa, it’s been an angel, so…”

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

…It really has, hasn’t it? That’s something I’ll have to fix at some point.

“Well. No comment when it comes to Lucifer, let me tell _you_ , but what’d Sariel ever do you guys?”

Well, he kidnapped me, but he’s not exactly alone in that one. He did also kidnap Emi, though, and that one was all him.

“Yeah, I’ll grant you that Sariel and me didn’t exactly live up the image people have of angels around here…”

“Welllll, then why don’t you stop digging a hole for yourself, mm-kay? Image is important, you know.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk about image. And what about these guys you dragged in with you? These are, like, first-level street punks in a yakuza film.”

I glare at figures guarding me and Suzuno.

They step back, as if they are afraid of you. Gabriel signs in exasperation.

I flash a victorious smile.

“Well. Anyway, I’m sorry, but, uh, we’re a bit occupied right now? In several ways? I’m trying to talk this out, but if you don’t want to get hurt, I’d recommend getting out of here while you can, mm-kay?”

“Ooh, dude, I love it. That’s total level-one-boss street-punk dialogue. I can just eat that crap up all day.”

I have my head bent deeply downward towards Gabriel.

“Please. Don’t take Alas Ramus away from us. Alas Ramus really loves Maou and Yusa. So…please.”

Droplets begin falling to my feet.

“Chi…”

“Chiho…”

“Aw, sheesh, lady, cut that out! C’mon, put your head up for me… This is totally unfair, mm-kay? You’re all making me out to be the mean ol’ angel here! It’s like I’m some kinda grifter in a TV show, brushing off the crying girl in the corner while I strong-armed some poor-schlub for the money he owed me!”

“What the hell are you going on about?”

_He_ owes _me_ money.

“Please… I really mean it…please…”

“Dahhh!! Come on already! Stop crying! Really, cut me a break already! Sheesh, if I knew this was gonna happen, I would’ve taken someone flailing at me with a baseball bat any ‘ol day! Hey, c’mon, give an angel some slack here!”

“Please…please…”

I refuse to raise my head.

“Ugggghhh, all _right_!”

Gabriel waves his hands in surrender.

“You have until tomorrow!!”

“Lord Gabriel?!”

“What are you saying?!”

The men guarding Suzuno and Urushihara turn towards Gabriel in disbelief.

“I… Oooooh!! Look, we angels, we’ve got our own problems to deal with, too, mm-kay? So first thing in the morning tomorrow, we’re hoppin’ right on back here! Feel free to get your family photos done or whatever in the meantime! But don’t think you can escape or anything, mm-kay?”

“R-really?”

My face brightens.

“J-just till tomorrow! I can’t wait any longer than that, mm-kay? And you, Devil King! If you try fishing your demonic power out from behind the closet or whatever, you’re gonna pay for that! And that’s a fact, Jack!”

“Th-thank you very much!”

“Let… Let’s go, you bastards!”

Gabriel stomps towards the door.

I can’t believe that worked, honestly.

Apparently Gabriel’s weakness is crying teenage girls.

“…Oh, nice closing line, Gabriel! ‘Let’s go, you bastards!’ I sound like _such_ a street punk…”

Gabriel’s minions follow him out in a line, each nudging Maou’s shoulder as they pass.

“Ow! Hey! _Hey_! Dammit!”

Hey, wait a sec.

Yeah?

If we have to roll for those goddamn stairs every time, why shouldn’t they?

….You here sound of something heavy tumbling down the stairs.

“Agh!”

“Lord Gabriel!”

“Lord Gabriel!!”

And the other four?

…..

“Ah!”

“Wah!”

“Whoa!"

“Nragh!”

Seriously, the stairs got all of them?

It would seem so.

“Oh, like I’m not having a bad _enough_ day!!”

The sound of Gabriel and his entourage fades into the distance.

“I am back, my liege. Ah, this oppressive heat…”

Well, you missed everything.

“I noticed a group of people leaving. More people from the MHK begging for your broadcast licence fee?”

Since when do the MHK people wear togas and carry swords?

“…Not a care in the world with you, huh? We kinda have an emergency here. Where the hell were you?”

“Huh? Whuh? What?”

“Um… Ignoring the completely clueless Ashiya for a moment… What’re we gonna do now?”


	40. Chapter 40

Should we just go home or…?

Yeah, I mean, you’ve been scribbling away there for a while now.

No, no, I’m almost done, just a bit longer.

This is all your fault you know.

Just what do you mean by that?

You just _had_ to ask about the Tree of Sephirot, didn’t you?

Hey, it’s not like anything else was really happening. Alas Ramus was running around, Maou and Emi fought, and I decided Chiho would want to know about the unfamiliar term.

Yeah, then the GM froze before whipping out a ton of notes.

Well, it occurred to me that the character who was most likely to explain the concept of the Tree of Sephirot to Chiho was Suzuno. And you have just about as much idea of what that means as Chiho does.

Yep. Aren’t there other characters who would know this information, though?

Sure. Lucifer has a pretty intimate knowledge of the whole thing, but he’s also not the sort of character who would ever willingly divulge said knowledge. At least not without some sort of ulterior motive.

Ha! So this is _your_ fault then!

What the hell do you mean by that? How was I supposed to know when designing the character that a Japanese schoolgirl would need the Tree of Sephirot explained to her in one of our games!

I’m done anyway. So here’s all the information you need, feel free to explain it however you see fit.

Holy… I can see why this took you so long to write out… How long did you spend thinking up all this? And why?

I tried to give this world a lot of its own unique cosmology. Plus, I got enthusiastic when Emi joined the party and ended up writing up a lot of Ente Islan Church’s theology. Really, it was a lapse in judgement on my part not giving you this information sooner.

Well, then, the Tree of Sephirot…

“The Tree of Sephirot is the tree in Heaven from which everything in the world sprang forth. Anyone who partakes of the fruit of Sephirot, it is said, shall gain immortality and the gifts of boundless knowledge. The first human beings created by the gods consumed one of these fruits, as the story goes, breaking a divine promise and causing the gods to cast them away from the paradise they lived in.”

“Wow, that’s pretty similar to what we have on Earth. Like, Adam and Eve in the Bible and so forth…”

I know what you’re going to say, and just because I _tried_ to just make stuff up, doesn’t mean I didn’t draw influence.

I nod at Chiho.

“The tree bore ten fruits, known as Sephirot, each one corresponding to a different aspect of the world, or life itself. Each has its own plants, colours, metals, precious stones, and so on associated with it… For example, the first Sephirah, Keter, is said to govern over the soul, human thought, and imagination; it corresponds to the number one, its jewel is the diamond, its colour white, its planet that of the god of the underworld, and its guardian angel Metatron. The fourth Sephirah is known as Chesed, governing over divine love; its number four, its metallic element tin, its colour blue, its planet that of the god of thunder, and its guardian angel Zadkiel… and so on down the line. All ten Sephirah possess aspects that correspond with the elements of the world, and I imagine Alas Ramus is attracted to colourful objects because they remind her of the colours each Sephirah lays claim to. Yesod, by the way, is the ninth Sephirah; it governs over the astral planes and one’s self-consciousness, its number is nine, its metallic element silver, its colour purple, its planet that of the blue heavens, and its guardian angel Gabriel.”

“…You actually memorized all that crap?”

“These are the core tenets of our theology!”

Be grateful I decided not to explain everything that’s written down here!

“Can you just, like, give us the thirty-second recap, dude?”

“What right does a former archangel have to say that?!”

Every right, I’ve already turned my back on all this, what reason would I have to give a crap?

“Now, now, now… That’s just Urushihara being Urushihara, so…”

“So why did she call herself ‘Alas Ramus’ from the get-go? Why didn’t she say ‘Yesod’ instead?”

“It may be because this child is simply a fragment of the Sephirah, or there may be some other, as-of-yet-unknown reason. It seems clear, at least, that Gabriel did not give her that name. He never once referred to her as Alas Ramus. But regardless, assuming we should take the old legends at face value, if Alas Ramus is truly a fragment…a segment of the Sephirah Yesod from the Tree of Sephirot, then everything Gabriel said would make sense. In other words, the elements of the world governed by Yesod are facing imminent danger. A danger that could affect the whole world. And if Gabriel wants to protect the balance of the world, as is his job as its guardian angel, then he would need Alas Ramus.”

Was that on your sheet too, or did you just make that up from what you already know?

Made it up.

That’s really impressive.

“Oh…so… So Alas Ramus needs to go after all, huh…?”

“Not necessarily. The presence of the fruits of Sephirot as the core that forms the world, and the guardian angels managing them are really only something laid out by our holy scriptures and mythology. It is not something anyone has ever seen with their own eyes. There has been no confirmation of it.”

“Confirmation…?”

I can think of someone who could confirm it, though he’s staying conspicuously silent.

“For example, the tenth Sephirah, Malkuth…”

“Market!”

“…Come to think of it, she talked about being friends with ‘Market’ on the Ferris wheel. Do Malkuth and the other Sephirah have personalities like Alas Ramus?”

I shake my head despondently.

“I have never heard of anything like that…but I think the fact this is news even to me could lead to have I am trying to say.”

“Oh, right, sorry to cut you off. Keep going.”

“Yes. Malkuth of located at the bottom level of the tree of life, governing over the physical world. Its number is ten, its precious stone crystal. It is associated with multiple colours, including bright yellow and olive green, and its planet is the Land of Life, which is meant to symbolize Ente Isla. According to legend, at least, if Malkuth were to cease existing for some reason, that would put the existence of crystals, the colour yellow, and even Ente Isla itself in danger.”

I pause for a moment.

“But take a moment to consider this. Could you imagine all the crystals in the world disappearing all at once simply because some fruit fell off a tree in another world? What kind of phenomenon would it take for a single object to engineer such massive disasters across sea and land? Even the story on our scriptures about the ‘first human beings’ eating the forbidden fruit is subject to many interpretations. Is that fruit related to the Sephirah, or not? The Church has yet to reach a conclusive answer. As the Devil King just said, there may be something to the Sephirah that we could interpret an individuals personalities. But, in the end, the idea that the Tree of Sephirot supports all in the world is simply something told in legend. There is no evidence of it. There are many of us who hold a connection with the heavens, no human has ever set foot inside the divine realm. Thus, in my opinion, I doubt the world would be plunged into crisis due to Alas Ramus not being available.”

“Dude, I’m sorry, is this college all of a sudden?”

If you don’t like how I’m explaining things, you could do it.

“…That being _said_ , there is no doubting the existence of heaven, or angels, and if they wish to have the fragment of Yesod back, we have to way of resisting them. It is a horribly cruel states of affairs.”

“…Man, this is a _total_ pain in the ass. Yo. Alas Ramus.”

“Hiii, Daddy!”

“That guy just now wanted to bring you back to his home, but do you wanna go with him?”

“No!!”

“Okay.”

I slap one of my crossed legs.

“Right, end of discussion. If those guys tomorrow do anything Alas Ramus doesn’t like, we’re fighting to the end.”

“Wh-whoa! Wait a second!! Do you understand what kind of situation we’re in?! Bell and I don’t stand a chance taking on someone like Gabriel face-to-face, and Alciel and Lucifer don’t even have any of their power back!”

“I know. If it comes to that, I’ll take ‘em on myself.”

“Yourself? Are you crazy?! How can you say that?! You realize what kind of shape your in?!”

If Suzuno and I don’t stand a chance, you’ll just get pounded into dust.

“All _right_. Eesh, lay off a sec. Like me getting my ass beat by him is anything bad for you guys, right?”

“…I, wait are you…?”

“This is what I want, okay? I don’t want to give Alas Ramus back because she doesn’t want to go back. And to you humans, if I lose, then ding-dong the Devil King’s dead and the Yesod fragment’s back where it should be in heaven, right? What’s the problem?”

“But…but…!!”

“Devil King! Are you truly fine with that?!”

“Maou!”

I roll my eyes.

“Hey, Ashiya? Urushihara? A little help here?”

What makes you think Ashiya’s going to back a plan the probable result of which is your death?

“…Y-your Demonic Highness, this is simply…”

“Uhh…well, not like I give a crap either way, but I’m really startin’ to dig life in this closet, so that would kinda harsh on my buzz, y’know?”

“Oh, not you, too, guys…”

“And despite everything we say, you still fail to see?!”

“No! Suzu-Sis, you’re mean to Daddy!”

She stands in front of Maou, extending her short body as much as she can in an attempt to protect Maou from danger.

I push her aside and grab Maou by the collar.

“It matters little here whether you are the Devil King or not! But all of us…even Lucifer, in his own way, finds the idea of Alas Ramus going someplace she dislikes as abhorrent! If Alas Ramus were to be taken away to a place like that…I would rather keep her in your hovel instead!”

“…I’m not exactly sure that’s how a Church cleric is supposed to talk…”

“I may be a Church cleric, I am also a politician! I know how to compromise for the greater good! Besides, look at the sheer arrogance of that man, acting like he’s the sole steward of an object he let free for hundreds of years! The whole Tree of Sephirot is itself a pile of rubbish!!”

Ouch.

“So…is that what your saying?”

“What?!”

“Saying how?”

“…What do you mean?”

“Yes, my liege?”

“What…”

I let out a wry smile, bearing my teeth to the crowd.

“You guys really like Alas Ramus, don’t you?”

I gasp softly.

“…Well, thanks. But when it comes to picking a fight against somebody holy, the Devil King’s kinda got a monopoly on that. This is too much for you guys. I’ve got something that belongs to the gods here, and I’m gonna keep it from them because I wanna. So if push comes to shove with Gabriel tomorrow, you don’t have to step in, okay? And if it all works out in end, then great, right? Go hard or go home.”

“Hey!”

“Wait!”

“Maou!”

“My liege!”

“…Dude.”

“Guys, shut _up_!”

I wave my hands around.

“This isn’t some kind of movie. All the ‘tude in the world isn’t gonna help me get past this guy. I’m a grown man, all right? Expect the best, but plan for the worst!”

Your ‘plan’ appears to be ‘avoid total party kill by having only one of the party members get killed in a hopeless battle.’

“Hey, Emi!”

“What?!”

“You’re sleeping over here tonight!”

“Whaaaaaaaaaaa?!”


	41. Chapter 41

“How is this _possibly_ risk management?”

“Hey, if I do wind up going at it with Gabriel, I figured that’s force you to get involved in the fight for me. You see? Always thinking two steps ahead! My mind’s a steel trap!”

“…Do you seriously mean that?”

Yeah, you still have issues picking up on Chiho’s feelings after all.

“Well more than I don’t. I think I said this before, but it’s about time you step up and handle something for a change right?”

I mean, I’m the one who keeps finishing off the bosses.

Oh, and I guess fighting with Olba and Lucifer while you were busy holding up a bridge doesn’t count for anything.

“Oh, me handling the Devil King’s problems? Yeah, they’d be cheering my name back home if they heard that one.”

“Yaaaayy!”

Yeah, thanks, I think my point was made.

That was Alas Ramus.

Oh.

“Anyway. More than I don’t, like I said, but I _am_ trying to think this logically a little. I’m not asking you to take up my side or anything, but if we _do_ wind up throwing down, you could at least make sure Alas Ramus doesn’t get hurt.”

“Oh…well, if that’s all your asking for…but what do you mean, you’re ‘trying to think’ about this? Do you have a plan, or are you gonna enjoy your final night with this kid? ‘Cause if you do, I’d like to hear it, or else I don’t know what I can do here.”

“I’m just risking my life for a kid. Like any parent would. But, you know, I wouldn’t worry much. If anything happens, it’s probably not gonna be any big deal for you.”

Okay, no plan then.

“…I wish I knew where that confidence of yours comes from.”

“If you’re expecting some basis for it, keep lookin’. But it’s weird, you know? It’s like, if it’s for Alas Ramus’s sake, I feel like I could do anything.”

Good to know.

“Oh, so now the Devil King’s playing the spunky against-all-odds movie hero again? Didn’t you just say that a positive attitude isn’t going to help anyone here?”

“Yeah, and I’ll probably be paying for that pretty soon. But, you know, all the guys who died against me and my demon forces…they probably kept going ’til the very end for their own kids, too. And if they can do that, why the Devil King, huh?”

The words ‘demon’ and ‘evil’ come to mind.

“What… What’s that… Stop acting like you’re starting some glorious new chapter in your life.”

I avert my eyes.

“Mommy?”

I grin a little before glancing at the wall clock.

“Right! Better get some shut-eye, then!”

“Wh-what?! It’s not even ten yet! That’s way too early!”

“Too early for us grown-ups, but Alas Ramus needs to get to bed. Whether we stay up all night or not, Gabriel’s still coming tomorrow.

“B-but…but…”

“Sleep together, Mommy! All sleep together!”

Alas Ramus begins to make her way to the closet.

“Oooooh…”

She begins pulling out the blankets and laying them haphazardly on the floor.

“Whoa, whoa, don’t trip again.”

“Come here, Alas Ramus. That dumb ol’ daddy of yours will take care of it.”

I begin setting up our bed.

“…You better put on a light somewhere.”

“Well, yeah. She gets scared when it’s too dark.”

“Oh, does Alas Ramus have any nightclothes or anything?”

“You mean like pajamas? …You know, that’s actually all the clothes she has, I guess.”

I glance down at Alas Ramus’s yellow dress.

“Uhh… You’ve been doing her laundry and stuff, right? Did you ever give her a bath?”

“I did her laundry, okay? And I took her to the public bath. You don’t have to treat me like an idiot.”

I do have some knowledge of how to care for child, thanks.

“Her stuff dried really quick in the heat, and she just trotted around the room in her diaper otherwise.”

“…I don’t believe you.”

“Yeah, well, we haven’t bought her anything besides that hat, so… I forget if the Uniclo in Sasazuka sells children’s clothes or not.”

“Oonislow?”

“I really wish you’d stop treating UniClo as the solution to every single problem in you life. She’s a girl, remember? Didn’t you ever think about finding something cute for her to wear?”

“What do you want from me? I don’t know where they sell that crap.”

“Ugh… I should’ve expected that men like you wouldn’t care about that.”

I casually stand up.

“Well look… How ‘bout we just worry about seeing this through, okay? So that I _would_ have to care.”

That’s the idea.

What?

Nothing important.

“Um…yeah. Sure.”

Alas Ramus gropes upward.

“Mommy! Mommy, here!”

She pats the tatami-mat next her.

“Okay, okay.”

I keep a wary eye on Maou as I lay myself on the floor.

I prod Alas Ramus.

“Hey, better hug Mommy tight, okay? That way, she won’t go away on you.”

“Okay!”

Alas Ramus embraces Emi. You notice something thin and unbending between you and the girl.

“Agh…! Huh? Hey…what’s that you’ve got there, Alas Ramus?”

“Picture!”

It’s the picture of the three of you taken at the Ferris wheel.

“Wow, you must really like that… But it’ll get all folded up and icky if you bring it to bed. Put it next to your pillow, okay?”

“Okey.”

I take the photo and place it bedside.

“Okay, I’m turning it off.”

I shut off the light, leaving a smaller nightlight on to the side.

“Oof”

I lie down.

Alas Ramus grabs both your shirts.

“G-get away!”

Since he would have to be pretty close to me for that to happen.

“I’m not gonna go hugging you, too, all right? I just can’t get any further away as long as Alas Ramus is like this, so…”

“…Pull anything weird and I’ll kill you.”

“You’re _still_ being a bad influence on her, you know.”

“You’re one to talk. You’re like a walking, talking bad influence on society.”

“And yet there’s still someone out there who loves her daddy. Right, Alas Ramus?”

“Mm…Hee-hee!”

“I think she’s denying it.”

“Ah, she’s just shy. She says it around other people.”

“Daddyyy, tell me a story!”

“Hmm? A story? Don’t want to hear a story from Mommy?”

“Mm…Mommy, tell a story tomorrow…”

Ouch. Thanks for that.

No kidding. I pat Alas Ramus’ stomach.

“Hmm, let’s see… How ‘bout we pick up the story from yesterday?”

“Okey.”

“Great! Uhh, where did we get up to last time…”

“The traveler, and the angel.”

“Oh, right, right. Boy, you have a good memory.”

“Ee-hee!”

“I started telling her stories ‘cause it kept her from putting on a big scene or whining about being lonely at night. I had no idea the diaper was the cause the first night, though…”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“Right…so the poor traveler, who was injured in the middle of his journey, was rescued by the angel.”

Insert a story about how the kind angel healed the traveler and told her all sorts of stories, yadda, yadda, yadda. Eventually the angel gave the traveler a special charm as a present. The traveler was overjoyed to receive the gift and eventually became a wise and just king, the end.

“… _snrrrf_ …”

Sheesh, tough crowd.

“…And there you have it. Night.”

“…Hey.”

“…Yeah?”

I caress Alas Ramus’ hair.

“What happened to him after he became king?”

“I just made that up to get her to sleep, man. How do I know? He lived happily ever after, the end, all right?”

“He didn’t go back to his homeland or go searching for the angel or anything?”

“…Look.”

“Oh, just tell me. I’m gonna need some material for my turn tomorrow.”

“…She’s not gonna be able to follow some kind of epic backstory, you know. Just make up whatever you want. That’s be perfect.”

“Hey, can I ask-”

“Just go to sleep. If you start talking to me, we’re gonna fight and Alas Ramus’ll wake up.”

“If the traveler became king and everything, why did he want go to some other country? I thought he lived happily ever after.”

Why are you so hung up on this?

“…No?”

“Well, getting to be king probably made him greedy.”

“Eh?”

“…If Alas Ramus asks about it, I’ll make something up for her.”

I break into a long snore.

I turn and face the wall.

“…He’s got _such_ a twisted mind… I’m so worried, I don’t know if I’d even dare leave this to him.”


	42. Chapter 42

I walk in the front door.

Neither of us has moved, dude.

You’ve been sticking your hand in and out of the fan for entertainment.

Well sitting around isn’t exactly exciting, is it?

“…Nothing?”

“You did return Chiho safely, yes?”

“Of course. She was rife with concern for my liege until the moment we parted.”

“Indeed. But we certainly cannot afford to bring her into this affair.”

“Absolutely, If anything were to happen to Ms. Sasaki, we’d be unable to continue our current arrangement. I told her not to set foot near our Devil’s Castle until some sort of closure has been reached.”

“…Well. A wise decision, there.”

You all suck, you know that?

Hey, at least you won’t get kidnapped this way.

I idly sit myself down.

“Alciel, I need to ask you something.”

“What? If you are expecting rent, forget it.”

“Who would ever dream of saying such miserly things? I am not you, after all. I wish to ask of you, and your demonic forces. What drove you to attempt to conquer the world? Because I…have grown less and less able to understand why the thought even occurred to you to invade our land.”

“…I have to say, I envy your refrigerator.”

“Um?”

What kind of a response was that?

“Open the door, and I am sure you will find the meat, the milk, the vegetables you bought yesterday. Anything missing from today’s menu, you can run to the store to purchase. You can make wonderful dishes, and eat the at your leisure. …I and His Demonic Highness, too, I imagine, invaded Ente Isla in search of such things.”

Okay…

“I’m not asking you to understand me. Regardless, it is my lot to work as hard as I can until the day we can return to Ente Isla… Do you understand me Urushihara?”

“Hey, I’ll work dude. Once I can.”

“Listen, you…”


	43. Chapter 43

Emi, you’re woken up by both the morning sun and the rapidly rising temperature. Maou, you’re still asleep, snoring loudly.

“…oof…”

I quickly sit up.

Alas Ramus is sleeping on you, you know.

“…Whoops.”

Can I catch that before I sit up?

Roll.

12.

Just before sitting up, you spot Alas Ramus sleeping on you.

“Nnnnh…”

I remove my arm so as to not disturb Alas Ramus, and then look around the apartment. 6.

You notice that the clock on the wall hasn’t even passed 5am, but nothing beyond that. There isn’t even any noise coming from Suzuno’s room.

I lightly brush Alas Ramus’ hair before reaching into my bag abd taking out the bottle of 5-Holy Energy B I have in there. I chug it in one swallow.

The aftertaste causes you to wince.

“This is for Alas Ramus…for Alas Ramus…”

I turn towards the kitchen sink.

“Better wash my face…”

“Mornin’, child!”

Someone places a hand over your mouth.

“Gnhhh!!!”

Where was _he_?

In your blind spot opposite the kitchen.

“Now, now, no fussing! I’m not gonna do anything rough, mm-kay?”

“Mnh! Mrnngh!”

I try to kick Maou awake.

He’s just barely out of range.

“Oh, stop! They’re both livin’ it up in dreamland…and they’ll be stayin’ in there awhile, too. Oop, look out.”

The man removes his hand from your mouth and edges away from you.

“You angels sure have forgotten your manners, huh? Kidnapping people, putting bugging devices in people’s bags, trespassing into people’s apartments without permission…”

The man laughs heartily.

“Aww, but this is the Devil’s Castle! Hopefully I can get a pass on that at least, hmm? I mean, we’re talking about the bad guys’ headquarters here!”

“You’re kind of early, aren’t you? Or did you think it’s okay to take this girl away just because the date on the calendar’s changed?”

I point my right hand squarely at Gabriel’s throat and materialize my Better Half.

“Hang on, hang on! I mean, didn’t I say I wanted to talk this out yesterday? Because you’re kind of being _awful_ judgemental with me now.”

“Alas Ramus or not, you wanted my holy sword, didn’t you? If someone’s trying to prevent me from my goal, I won’t hesitate to cut him down.”

“Oh, you are _such_ a party pooper. Women these days are _soooo_ self-minded, aren’t they? No _wonder_ so many people aren’t getting married anymore. You girls are scary!”

How long has he been here? How have we not managed to wake up?

Gabriel could have cast a spell to keep all of you asleep.

“Oh, and just so we’re on the same page here, it’s not like I cast a spell or put a barrier up to keep the Devil King and the folks next door from waking up, mm-kay?”

“…What do you mean?”

Then why the hell is everyone still asleep?

“Well, and I’m just guessing here, but you guys probably didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, am I right? The folks next door were up all night keeping watch over you, I guess, but they all conked out about an hour ago. Plus which, you were totally conked out, too, yes? I mean, since I stepped in here, I heated up a bento box I bought at the convenience store, ate it, went to the john, and did little morning constitutional around the front yard, but you people were sleeping like _logs_ , I tell you. I mean, not like I expected a red carpet, but come _on_!”

What’s he getting at?

I did some rolls to see if what he was doing around the apartment would wake you up. It never did.

“And as someone who prides himself on being the most gentlemanly archangel in heaven, I’d never attack a family while they’re asleep. So figured I’d wait until you or the Devil King woke up. We could talk a little more, and maybe I could help you see the light this time, mm-kay? So, uh, could you put that blade away for a sec.”

Gabriel pinches the edge of the sword with two fingers, and attempts to push it away.

I hold firm.

“Hey, look unlike your pal Sariel, I don’t have any natural defence against holy power, sooo…y’know, really, I’d like to settle this like grown-ups.”

“…Like you have any right to say that.”

“Uhm?”

“You probably have those goons from yesterday surrounding the apartment by now, don’t you? The Heavenly Regiment or whatever?”

“Now listen, lady, I have _no_ interest in hurting anyone, mm-kay? I just want to get what I’m getting, then get _out_. But cut me a break! The Devil King was ready to duke it out right in the kitchen yesterday. So, all right, yeah, I have ‘em on lookout. Ooh, but listen, we had to expend a ton of energy just gettin’ _me_ through a Gate, so they’re all kinda pooped right now, y’know? And, whew, it’s gonna be even worse once we have that girl with us on the way back. So, c’mon, be an angel and listen to one for a change, mm-kay?”

I poke him lightly in the throat with my Better Half.

“Aaagh! You just poked my Adam’s apple a bit with that thing on purpose, didn’t you?! For a Hero, you’re pretty darn good at terrorizing people, you know that? Oww!”

The clamour Gabriel is making causes the rest of the room to stir, finally.

“…Ngh, stop making all that noise… Jeez, it’s still only five… Hey, whoa, come _on_!!”

You’re greeted by the site of Emi pointing a sword at an unfamiliar man in your cramped apartment.

“Ooohh… Daddyyy?”

“Gabriel… You didn’t have to come _this_ early, you know…”

“Ooh, hey, sleepyhead! Sorry I had to call upon you like this, mm-kay? My schedule for today is just _packed_ , let me tell you.”

I pick up Alas Ramus and put her behind me.

“Y-you shouldn’t be brandishing a sword like that, y’know. Not around the little one! It’ll be a bad influence! So just put it away, mm-kay?”

Why does everyone think _I’m_ the bad influence?

“It’s not like I’m out for a fight against heaven or the angels. But they just keep coming for me, you know? That’s why I have to fight them.”

“Yikes! …That’s some mean logic to argue against.”

Gabriel shrugs in despair.

“Okay, well, hopefully you don’t mind if I talk first then… Ooh. but try to make sure you don’t hit my hayoid again, mm-kay?”

If he ends up getting too long-winded, I make no promises.

“…Y-y’know, if I could offer a compromise here, at the very least, if I can get home with either the holy sword or that girl, then I don’t have a complaint in the world right now. I’ll explain everything to you, and I mean it. But after that I’m giving you two a choice. Hand it over, or no?”

Gabriel begins to gesture to accentuate his point.

“I’m the guard of Yesod, a Sephirah from the Tree of Sephirot that forms the foundation of the world. And Yesod got stolen a long time ago, mm-kay? And if _that_ wasn’t bad enough, the thief split Yesod into a bunch of fragments and tossed them all over the place. And you know, Emilia, the Better Half sword in your hand and that girl behind the Devil King were both born from those fragments. And…and, you know, having stuff like that outside of heaven for long is real, _real_ bad news!”

“My sword…from a fragment of Yesod?”

Gabriel raises a finger and points it at your sword.

“You betcha, lady! You see that? The purple crystal embedded in it?”

I always assumed it was a piece of design work.

Evidently not.

“That and the Better Half’s one pretty dangerous dealie-o, you know? Pretty high-priority to get back for us. But then you, Satan—y’know. before you invaded Ente Isla, we had _no_ idea where the heck you were! I’ve been going around for centuries, picking up a shard here, a fragment there, but I just had the worst time finding the fragments the girl and that sword came from, mm-kay? And, you know, I was trying to keep this search a secret ‘cause I didn’t want any of the grand pooh-bahs to know I messed up, if you know what I mean, but going off by myself all the time to look…well, let’s just say that raised some eyebrows. Folks thought I was plotting against the gods, can you _believe_ that? So Sariel figured out what I was _really_ up to first. I almost got booted of the island, if you know what I’m gettin’ at! Ha-ha-ha!”

“What’s so dangerous? We need the holy sword to defeat the Devil King. There’s nothing _dangerous_ about it.”

“There kinda is to _me_ …”

“Well, that’s what you humans say… I mean, that’s what the Church said anyway, way back when they got hold of those fragments. And if I told you _why_ they’re dangerous…well, all that time I spent looking for them would go to waste, y’know? I can’t very well go around doing that!”

“What the Church said…”

“That, and gee whiz, lady, use your head! Like, did you think you can just go to the big-box store and buy magical swords that _only_ affect demons and Devil Kings? The Better Half’s power is amplified by holy force, mm-kay? Just like the Light of Iron magic your Church knights use. The only difference is the form it takes! You can search the entire universe for all I care; there’s no such things as a special anti-demon weapon!” 

What about the damage bonus I got against demons when using the sword?

Holy force is toxic to them; the damage bonus had nothing to do with the specific sword itself and more to do with the fact that it is formed and powered by a material that is caustic to demons.

“But…but this sword brought me straight to the Devil King inside his fortress…”

“Lady, I don’t think it was leading you to the Devil King. It was directing you where the child was. The separate Yesod fragments were attracted to each other. That’s all there was to it! And thanks to _that_ , I had to waste a lot _more_ time running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off searching, mm-kay? Y’see, you probably used up so much holy force during that fight, that child’s fragment likely stopped reacting to anything else for a while. And then you took a little weekender over to Nowheresville, Japan, so that trail went cold on me, too, until I figured out where the heck you were. I had no idea the fragment had become part of the Devil King’s gardening hobby, either!”

Gabriel grabs Emi’s holy sword.

I attempt to pull it back.

The weapon refuses to budge.

“Nuh-uh-uh! That hurt me on kind of a paper cut level, but unless something really goofy happens, that holy sword isn’t enough to beat me, as things stand.”

He turns his gaze to Maou.

“So are we all working with the same playbook now? Great. Now let’s just act like adults here and listen to what I’m asking you, mm-kay?”

I take a deep breath and face up Gabriel before prostrating myself before him on the floor.

“…Huh?”

“Hey, hang on, what’re you doing?!”

“Please.”


	44. Chapter 44

"Please don’t take Alas Ramus away.”

“Daddy…?”

Alas Ramus swivels her head between you and Gabriel.

“Um, look, if I have to remind you, I’m an angel, mm-kay? And you’re the Devil King, last time I checked. If you think I’m gonna fold like I did with that girl yesterday, you’ve got another thing coming, bucko.”

“I’m not saying for free, okay? You let her stay, I’ll let you have my head. That ain’t a bad deal.”

“What?!”

“Whoa, whoa, come on! Stop being stupid! You… _I’m_ supposed to defeat you! You can’t just toss your life away here!”

“Lay off. Tell all your pals back home that you teamed up with an archangel to do me in, for all I care. What’s the big problem with that?”

It’s my character’s entire motivation!

“That’s a _huge_ problem! Who the hell would ever want to team up with _these_ freaks?! I need to defeat you by my own hand, or else it’s meaningless!” 

“Why’s it matter what you think about it?! We’re supposed to be worried about Alas Ramus!”

“Uhm, would you folks mind not bickering like a married couple for a moment?”

“We’re not married!”

“We’re _not married_!!”

“Wowwwww, way to give it to me in stereo…”

Yeah, it’s almost like the two of you planned that.

“Mommy, Daddy, stop fighting!!”

Now look what you did, you made Alas Ramus agree with Gabriel.

“Hey, uh, can I butt in with a question real quick? Why are you. the Devil King, being such a concerned hen over this girl? The girl you all but forgot until a few days ago?!”

“Because I became ‘king’. Because I got distracted by greed, just like that demon did. Because I forgot about the things I needed to cherish! This girl is a symbol of hope. A symbol I picked up after being snatched away from the edge of death. After getting a new lease on life. …But somewhere along the line, on the way to becoming leader of all demons, I forgot about that.”

I rise and slowly hug Alas Ramus.

“Daddy…ow.”

She squirms a bit in you embrace.

“You let this girl be for hundreds of years and nothing bad happened, right? So please…don’t take her someplace she doesn’t want to be. I’ll stake my life on it.”

“…Y’know, I can’t say I like this assumption that I’m going to do all these mean things to her, mm-kay? Like I’ve been trying to tell you, she belongs in heaven. She is a fragment of Yesod—”

“I know all about that! That, and the Devil Overlord Satan of the past!”

Just how much did that angel tell you?

“…That’s why I can’t let her go. I don’t want to let her go. So please…just…!”

You are suddenly struck by a jolt of pain that sends you to your knees.

“Sorr-ee. Change of plans!”

“Gah…nh…”

“You know, I really had no intention of going this far, but that’s kind of digging your own grave there, mm-kay? I try to be a good-natured angel when I can, but if that’s what you’re going to bring up, I’m kind of obliged to take action.”

Maou, you feel as though your throat is being crushed by an invisible hand.

“Graaaaahhhhh!!!!”

Is that really sort of situation that anyone would be able to scream in?

Regardless, Maou’s screaming wakes up Ashiya and Suzuno in the adjoining apartment.

Wow, Lucifer sure can sleep through a lot, can’t he?

Apparently.

“D-Devil King?!”

I rush towards the door to our apartment, hoping offer assistance to my liege.

“My liege! My liege, what is it?!”

I follow you.

“Get back, Alciel! Let me crush him with my Light of Iron!”

Whether he would allow you to do that or not really depends on who ‘he’ is.

“Oooops! Got a little too loud for my own good, hmm? Well, not that it’ll amount to anything. That barrier isn’t gonna fall apart _that_ easy!”

So Gabriel _did_ put a barrier up!

Just to keep them out, not to keep them asleep.

I begin to bash my hammer against the door in hopes of shattering the barrier.

You produce some loud banging sounds, but the door refuses to budge.

“Emilia, the Hero… Just to make sure we don’t regret anything later, I’ll take care of the Devil King, mm-kay? I know you’ve got your own issues and stuff, but I'll be happy to pass along a revelation to the Church or whatever about you getting the blessings of an archangel, blah, blah, blah, like what the Devil King said. That sound good to you? That _does_ sound good to you, doesn’t it, Emilia?”

“…No deal.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s my turn to tell this girl a story. If you take her away, I’ll wind up breaking my promise.”

“Whaaa? Aw, come on…”

“I don’t care about what all you stupid angels are dealing with! I am the only one who’s gonna cut the Devil King Satan down! I’d never give anyone else the honour!!”

“Um…do you have anything less hackneyed you could say right now…?”

“Besides what kind of so-called good guy would take a crying girl away from her own father?! Heavenly Flame Slash!”

10.

“Oh? Whoa! Agh, ow, ow, ow, ow! Jeez, that’s hot! What’s up with _that _?”__

The flame on your blade didn’t do so much as singe Gabriel’s hand.

“Okay, maybe that didn’t look like it hurt, but it did, mm-kay? Like, a lot! Y’know, I _really_ didn’t want any rough stuff with you, but why can’t you see things _my_ way here, hmm? I’m _supposed_ to be the guardian of these fragments, y’know!”

“Who asked you?!”

“Well…nobody _asked_ me, exactly, but this is my duty, and—”

“Gnh…haggh…”

“Who…was that just now?”

“We were playing. Having fun. That’s all! Market told me. You were all big liars. He said you were liars, but you got to be gods anyway!”

Alas Ramus lightly brings her hand to Maou, this is enough to loosen the hold Gabriel has on him.

“…Gahaa!! _Koff_ …egghh…”

“Huhhh?!”

“I hate you! I hate all of you!”

“Truly…?”

“You took us all away, you kept us all alone…and…”

The purple crescent-shaped mark appears on Alas Ramus’s forehead and her dress begins to glow brightly.

“…And now you’re mean to Mommy and Daddy! That’s _bad_!!!”

She emits a bolt of golden light, sending Gabriel flying against the wall and releasing the holy sword from his grasp.

“Yagh!”

“Aaaahhh!!”

“Alas…”

“Wait, Daddy!”

“Whoa! Hang—”

Alas Ramus begins to fly headfirst towards Gabriel, sending his body right through the apartment wall. This clamour is enough to finally wake Urushihara.

Nice to know he at least can’t sleep though the building taking major structural damage.

“Whoa! Alas Ramus! …Heavenly Fleet Feet!!”

I use my new speed to chase them out the hole in the wall.

Gabriel’s departure was also enough to lower the barrier he had around the door. This results in the door getting knocked off its hinges as Ashiya and Suzuno enter the room.

“Emilia!”

“Your Demonic Highness! Currrrrse youuuuu, Emilia! Such a heinous, despicable act of treachery!!”

What?

Think about what he just walked into, his king incapacitated and Emilia fleeing through a newly formed hole in the wall. What other conclusion would he jump to?

“No… G-Gabriel…and Alas Ramus…”

“What?! He is here?!”

“Alas Ramus…she’s fighting. Get…after her… _Kagff_!”

“Alas Ramus…?”

“Fighting?”

“Suzuno, please, get…me up…”

I nod at the groaning Maou and move to do as he wishes.

Gabriel’s lackeys from the other day fly up the hole in the wall and block it.

“Halt, human! Stay where you are, Devil King Satan!!”

“Do not defy the will of Lord Gabriel!!”

“Ngh… Not you…”

We seriously have to go through them to get to Gabriel and Alas Ramus?!

Yep.

You planned for it to be like this all along the whole time, didn’t you?

Well you very well can’t fight _Gabriel_ and expect to win, so I’m giving you someone you stand a chance against. Or rather, four someones.

“Heh. Do you even know who you’re talking to?”

Ah, _crap_.

Huh?

“You think a bunch of Gabriel’s hatchet men are in position to tell _me_ to stay here?”

I lean against the front door.

“Uh…Urushihara?”

“Get out of our way.”

I want to roll to convince them.

What?

How’s that going to do anything?

Oh, just let him roll.

20.

……….Your order is enough to make all four of the angels clear the way.

What?

“Maou, Bell: You’re good. Get going. I’ll make sure they don’t bother you.”

“Wh-what is…?”

“Did you forget what kind of angel I used to be, Ashiya? Before I fell, I was the leader of the archangels. Remember? And maybe I couldn’t get away with that in front of Gabriel, but a bunch of Heavenly Regiment foot-soldier lackeys aren’t about to defy _me_.”

Garbage Charisma or not, that gave me a huge bonus to convincing those guys. So all of you can suck it.

“Eesh. You the most annoying habit of actually being useful sometimes.”

“You don’t have to add ‘sometimes,’ Maou. Just go, all right?”

“R-right! C’mon, Suzuno!”

“Very well. Climb on to the head of the hammer! Hang on tight!”

I fly us off into the early morning sky.


	45. Chapter 45

“Alas Ramus?!”

I focus my eyes on the skies.

Alas Ramus is charging forward, repeatedly headbutting Gabriel.

“Ow! Owwwww! Agh!”

“Gabriel! Get away from Alas Ramus!”

“I kind of would I could, but I _can’t_!”

Your distraction leaves Gabriel’s face open long enough for Alas Ramus to smash right into it. The impact sends Gabriel hurtling towards the heavens.

“Alas Ramus! You okay?!”

“That’s not faaaaair!” I’m _way_ less okay than _her_ , mm-kay?!”

Gabriel spreads his wings to slow his ascent.

“Ugghhh. I’m not even that good at fighting, either!”

He rubs the side of his head with his right head before materializing Durandal.

“Whoop! Ta-dah! ‘I’ll be back’, an I right?!”

And Durandal is what exactly?

It’s a sword.

Of course _you_ would know that.

“You’re taking a _sword_ to that child?!”

Can I make a knowledge check to see if I know anything about that sword?

Sure.

17.

You recognize the sword from Church legends which sung both of its power and the the power of the angel that wields it.

It really sounds like you’re hinting at something.

“Now listen, lady! Did you just think the animal trainers at the circus take on those lions and tigers barehanded?! I can’t be Mr. Nice Guardian all the time mm-kay?!”

“Oh, so now you’re comparing Alas Ramus to a wild animal? I _dare_ you to say that again!”

“Come onnn! That was just an example! You don’t have to start acting like a mama lion on me _now_!”

“Mommy, be careful! That sword’s really strong!”

Alas Ramus stands between you and Gabriel.

“Strong? Oh, you bet it’s strong! Though, to put it another way, this is getting scary enough that I feel obliged to whip _this_ out, y’know what I mean?”

Okay you’re definitely hinting at something.

“The sword of Gabriel… Durandal, right?”

“Bingo! You know, this sword… There’s no special voodoo magic on it or anything, but it’s built to last and its capable of slicin’ and dicin’ through just about anything! No fuss, no muss! Probably your Better Half, too, even. Besides what kind of guardian gets beaten by just one of those fragments? Though I _really_ wish she’d surrender. Maybe she’s really a Yesod fragment, but slashing up a little girl kinda leaves a bad aftertaste, mm-kay?” 

“…And you think that’ll make us surrender?”

…That was the idea…

Huh?

“You know a villain’s about to die when he starts acting like it’s in the bag for—”

A light breeze passes your side and you feel a small impact on your right hand.

“Well, hopefully we can avoid being _that_ clichéd with the script here, mm-kay?”

You notice that Gabriel’s voice is now behind you. Just then your holy force begins to drain alarmingly fast.

Why?

The blade of your sword has been sheared off in the middle.

_Gabriel_ did that? 

Yeah, he may seem like a ditz, but he does have the power to back up his threats.

“Mommy!!”

Alas Ramus flies to your side.

“Not that I really care what happens to that sword, y’know. As long as I get the Holy Silver core, the fragment of Yesod housed inside, everything’s hunky-dory!”

Gabriel rests Durandal across his shoulder as a show of strength…….

Yeah?

Don’t just stare at the dice, you’re the GM!

“…Ow! Shoot, I cut my shoulder!”

Hahahahahaha!!!

Why does Gabriel’s misery amuse you so much?

He annoys me.

“Hey, Alas Ramus?”

“…Mommy?”

“…Do you like ‘Daddy’? Do you want to be with him forever?”

“Uh-huh! Oh, but I like you, too, Mommy! I don’t want to leave you, either!”

“Well, good.”

I nod lightly.

“In that case, I’m not about to sit and watch a child who loves her daddy that much get separated from him.”

I funnel my remaining holy force into my sword.

The broken blade gradually repairs itself, though the blade is thinner and less sturdy than it was before.

“If it’ll make those I need to protect happy, I’ll keep fighting all I want!”

“Geh…This is getting really complicated, you know that? …Try not to see me as the bad guy here, mm-kay? ‘Cause I know this gonna make me sound kinda like one.”

Gabriel strikes a fighting pose.

“You know that once you lay a hand on me, it’s kind of my job to make a serious response, right? Just so you’re aware beforehand?”

“If my choices are ‘fight’ or ‘watch a child cry’, I’ll fight anyone, anytime!”

“Look, I know she looks like a child, but she’s the Yesod Sephirah inside, mm-kay…? Oh, now I’m sounding like _such_ a villain…”

“Moooove!!”


	46. Chapter 46

“D-Devil King!”

“Daddy!”

I roll to jump Gabriel’s back.

…What?

I roll to jump on Gabriel’s back. I got a 17, by the way.

You land square.

“Ngh!”

Once Maou is off the head of my hammer I swing it at Gabriel. 9.

Gabriel dodges the blow.

“Searing Lightwave!”

11.

The shockwave emitted from your hammer hits Gabriel’s rear end, launching him and Maou spinning into the sky.

“Whooaaahhh!!”

“Aaaaaagh?! Leeeeettt meeeee goooo!”

“Nooottt haaaappeninnnnnng!! Eeeeemiiiii! Hurry uuuupppp! Take ‘im down with meeeeee!”

“N-no! What are you, stupid? I can’t kill you in front of Alas Ramus!”

“Shuuutttt uuuuuppp!! This’s the only chaaaaannce!”

Gabriel moves to throw you off his back.

I rolled an 8 to stay on.

Gabriel peels you off his back and throws you into the air.

“Hngh!”

“Agh! Daaahh!!”

Because of your momentum from spinning it takes you several seconds to begin falling.

“D-Devil King!!”

I chase after him.

You ain’t catching him.

Huh?

You don’t have enough squares of movement per turn to catch him before he splats on the ground.

Aaaggghhhh, dammit. I was really hoping to save this for a later campaign.

Save what?

“Mommy.”

“…What is it, Alas Ramus?”

“Mommy, are you always gonna be with Daddy? Do you like Daddy?”

“I…Yeah. Yeah, we’re always gonna be together.”

“Really?!”

Alas Ramus has a sweet innocent smile on her face.

I answer it with one of my own.

And you’re lying to the kid, for shame.

“Really. I mean it. Until death do us part.”

That’s more like it.

“Yaaaaay!!”

She takes off towards Maou like a shot. Using her magic she stops Maou’s fall just a few feet before he hits the ground.

“Daddy.”

“Alas Ramus… You…”

“Daddy, Daddy, Mommy said she’ll always be with you!”

“Huh?”

“So don’t get all lonely, okey, Daddy?”

“Uh?”

“So bye-bye for a little bit, okey?”

Alas Ramus drops Maou to the ground and flies back into the sky.

“Alas Raaaaamuuuuuuuuus!!”

A burst of silver light unfurls in the sky.


	47. Chapter 47

“Gabriel… Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m going with choice number three.”

Since the GM so kindly upgraded my equipment.

*grumble*

“Aye yai yai… Ooh, yeah, I guess the Church didn’t stop at giving you _one_ piece pf Holy Silver, did it? I kinda forgot.”

Gabriel frowns.

“I don’t see any shard forming the core of your Cloth, but, eesh, no wonder that girl was attracted to you. Well, this is just great. I wasn’t expecting you to evolve it that way… We’d better get serious, mm-kay….?”

I attack him with the Better Half, aiming to cut Durandal’s blade in two. 20.

You succeed in slicing half the blade off and severely cracking what remains on the hilt. You also score a light hit on Gabriel’s arm.

“Nagghh!!! Uh? Huh?! What the heck was _that_?! Is…is…is that…?!”

“…Nice to see angels bleed just as red as we do.”

Wouldn’t you know that already?

I was _trying_ to be dramatic. Plus, it’s been established that _he_ doesn’t really count. I shake the drops off my blade as I turn back towards Gabriel.

“Leave here at once, Gabriel. I have zero intention of meddling in the affairs of heaven. But even more than that, I don’t want to see that girl cry.”

“W-well, it kinda doesn’t really _work_ that way, mm-kay? …I’m not exactly in a position to just turn around and leave, y’know. How many hundreds of _years_ do you think I’ve been looking for that Yesod fragment?”

“Oh, so you still want to fight me with _that_ sword?”

Gabriel looks in shock at Durandal’s blade.

He hadn’t noticed it was damaged until now?

The scratch you put on him took up all his attention. Remember he was able to hold onto the blade of your sword with no problem not that long ago. As Gabriel gazes at his sword the remainder of the blade falls to pieces.

“…Well. Guess I just punched my ticket back home, didn’t I? But this doesn’t mean I gave up, mm-kay? And I doubt Sariel has, either. Someday, we’re gonna bring all the fragments of Yesod back in one place. I’m just giving you a reprieve ’til then, got it?”

“Heh. Try not to sound like such a loser, loser. But I still got a question for you. Like the Devil King said, if you’ve really been searching for centuries and nothing bad’s happened in the meantime, why are you so hell-bent on getting it back now?”

“…Well, _that’s_ a surprise. After all that’s happened, _that’s_ what your asking me?”

I think it’s a good question.

“…Maybe it’s time you think a bit about what you really are, lady. That, and why we had this little fight just now. You’ll work it out sooner or later.”

And of course you couldn’t just tell her.

The fun is in the mystery. Gabriel raises Durandal’s hilt high into the heavens.

“And I’ll hope, when that time comes, that you’ll put the peace of the world first. For real this time.

A blast of light emits form his hand.

“Unless you want the scourge of Satan, the Devil Overlord, to return.”


	48. Chapter 48

“Wh-what the hell?!”

I shield my eyes against the explosion of light.

I do likewise.

You notice an object falling out of the way of the blast, and that said object is Emi.

“E…Emilia?!”

I fly up to catch her. 15.

You roll directly under her and manage to catch her limp body before it hits the ground.

“Emilia! Are you safe?!”

17 on my recovery roll.

Your eyes pop open upon hearing Suzuno’s words.

“Oh…Bell… Yeah, I’m fine. Also, Gabriel’s gone.”

“What?!”

I turn up to look at the fading explosion in the sky.

You don’t see anyone in the sky, it would seem that Gabriel really has left.

“Hey! Emi! Where’s Alas Ramus?”

I watch the two of you slowly descend.

“What happened to Alas Ramus?! He… Gabriel didn’t…”

“Ugh… What’re we gonna do about _this_ …?”

Yeah, no kidding. This is gonna be a real pain in the ass.

That pain in the ass saved all of you, be grateful.

Only because you ending up writing yourself into a corner.

I _could_ have let Gabriel kill you all.

You’re too nice for that.


	49. Chapter 49

“Alas Ramus is…gone away.”

I’m still amazed that none of the neighbours were roused and that no one called the police.

You’d like to think that massive hole in our wall would concern people, but apparently not.

“Um, Ashiya, is this…!”

“My liege is…unhurt. He is resting in the Devil’s Castle…but he wishes to be alone at the moment.”

“What happened to…to Alas Ramus? Did that Gabriel guy do something to her?!”

“Dude, how should we know? Emilia’s kind of off in her own little world, too, so… But it’s kinda logical to assume that Gabriel took her and left.”

“N-no!”

“There was no way to restore my liege’s power this time. Not with the Heavenly Regiment guarding us. And I doubt Emilia could have fended for herself against an angel guarding the Tree of Sephirot. Neither of them are hurt, at least, but…as much as it pains me to say, chances are that Gabriel left with her.”

“Well not like _we_ coulda done anything about it, right? I mean, that girl was a Yesod fragment, dude. It’s kinda natural that Gabriel would want her back in heaven. Besides, it’s not like we had any duty to—”

“Urushihara!! Don’t say anything else! If you do, I…I’ll make you regret it!”

“……Eesh.”

“But what’s wrong with Yusa?”

“Emilia has already returned home. Apparently she had to report to work. …I understand that her clothing and belongings were ruined, but how could that girl be so heartless… You had best go to school yourself, Ms. Sasaki. I’m afraid His Demonic Highness is…”

I take a pensive look at the hole.

“…likely not in the mood for conversation.”

“I-I sorry… I’d better…”

I briskly bow to you and leave the apartment building behind me.

“Alas Ramus…”

You all are really good at this aren’t you?

It’s just separation between character and player.

Some people have a difficult time with that, but none of you apparently.

Chiho, the phone in your bag begins vibrating.

I wipe away a tear and take it out.

It’s text from Emi, asking you to meet with her whenever it’s convenient.


	50. Chapter 50

“Yo, Chi.”

Kisaki stops you from leaving.

“Oh, hi, Ms. Kisaki! I’m just about to be off.”

“Sure thing. Good work today. Do you have a moment?”

“Oh, of course. What’s up?”

“I was just wondering… That little girl you had with you, is she back with her family?”

“Oh, I guess you noticed, huh?”

I would hope so, I’ve tried to make it very obvious that something is wrong.

“Well, you know, he was kinda shambling around out there like a zombie, so… And I know we’re just gonna have to wait for him to work through his feelings and everything, but that’s just… I’m sorry to put this on you, Chi, but if this keeps up with him, can I count on you to maybe give him a little support on the work front?”

“Sure. No problem.”

“I know I was just a bit harsh with him today, but…well, I can’t get too soft, so…”

“Oh, no, not at all, Ms. Kisaki. I’m sure Maou knows you’re just saying all that for his sake. Anyway, see you tomorrow.”

“You got it. Be safe.”

I bow to Ms. Kisaki and start walking towards Sasazuka station.

I meet you there.

“Hey, Yusa! Sorry to make you wait!”

“Oh, hi, Chiho. I’m sorry to keep you out. You must be tired.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine…but what’s up?”

“Um… Well, how ‘bout we chat inside that Tacoma’s Best? There’s a table free in that corner. My treat?”

“Oh? Un, sure, but…”

We walk in, order and take a seat.

I sink into the seat before letting out a long deep sigh.

“So did you hear about this morning from anyone?”

I nod solemnly.

“I went over to the apartment.”

“Oh…”

“Um…so, so did Alas Ramus really get taken away?”

“…If I just had a little more power…”

“Oh, no, Yusa, this isn’t your fault…”

“…If I had the power to fight against Gabriel by myself, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“No, you… you really don’t have to torture yourself over this…”

Yeah, I’m sure the GM has you covered on that one.

“No. This all happened because I didn’t have the strength to do it.”

“Mommy, are you okay? You feel sick?”

“Yusa…”

“Chi-Sis! Mommy, are you hurt? Where’s it hurt?”

“No, no, I’m fine. Just in the heart, a little. ….Huh?”

“Oo?”

We stare down at our feet.

“Aaaaggghhhhhhhhhh?!!”

I instinctively stand up.

You bump your knees on the table and almost topple your drinks in the process.

“Ow!”

“Chi-Sis! You okay?!”

She pats your face.

“Alas Ramus!! What? Why? How?! Why are _you_ here right now, Alas Ramus?!”

I look up at Emi.

I have my back turned to you, my face clearly red.

“Wow! You’re okay! That’s great!!”

I embrace Alas Ramus.

“Wabpf!”

“B-but why?! Maou and Suzuno and Ashiya all thought that Alas Ramus was gone!”

You forgot someone.

_You_ couldn’t have cared less.

“…I never thought _this_ was gonna happen, either.”

“Y’know what I did? I ate the sword.”

“…Huh?”

“It was like she just bunched it up like a wad of bread and popped it in her mouth. Could you imagine how much of a panic that put me in? Anyway, I guess that was her way of ‘fusing’ it with the Yesod fragment she has. Gabriel and I were shocked. Neither of us knew what had happened.”

“I’m with Mommy forever now!”

“So then, I guess those were two Yesod fragments brought together, and the sword is kind of part of my body, so I guess that kinda led to the next thing.”

I put my hands above my head and summon my Better Half, in the form of a small knife.

“Wah!”

Alas Ramus disappears in a swarm of light particle before the knife appears in your hand. Seconds later a gauntlet forms over your hand as well. Just then a voice echoes from the sword…

“Mommy, you scared me!”

So that means I can hear her?

Yep.

This would seem really weird to onlookers.

“It…talks…? Whaaa?! Is that really…”

“Sure is.”

“How do I look, Chi-Sis? Do I look cool?”

“…Alas Ramus became part of the holy sword. And the Cloth of the Dispeller.”

“So…so you didn’t tell Maou or anyone else? I mean, you should see how depressed he is right now. He’s totally not himself at work.”

“Oh, no? Well, huh. Must’ve really hurt him, I guess.”

“Well, _yeah_! You saw how much he liked having her around…”

“Tee-hee… I’m sorry. But I figured I could get away with this much. Besides…”

I dissipate the dagger and rematerialize Alas Ramus.

“I thought it’d be best if he understood what it meant to lose something a little, too.”

I give Alas Ramus a pat on the head.

“Gabriel went home with his tail tucked between his legs. Not that he could do much. I mean, if Sariel’s Evil Eye of the Fallen wasn’t enough to pull the sword out of me, what _is_ , you know? The last thing Bell and the Devil King saw was Gabriel whining like a schoolboy before diving back through his Gate… But anyway, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

All that was just the prelude?

“…Um? Oh, uh, so what is it?”

“…So as you can see, Alas Ramus fused herself with my holy sword, so now we’re able to move around with a little more freedom.”

“Right.”

“But—and this is something she said before all of that happened…but apparently she’s under the notion that me and her ‘daddy’ are gonna be together forever…”

“Uhhngh?”

“I mean, the whole day through, all I heard in my mind was ‘I want to see Daddy, where’s Daddy,’ and so on ad nauseam… But if I keep leaving this girl at the Devil’s Castle, what if something happens then? I won’t have my holy sword on me.”

“I don’t know if I’d worry about _that_ first…”

Worry about the fact that you now have a voice in your head only you can hear.

“And the worst part, you know, was that Rika was no help to me at all today. She was all freaking out about something, too.”

“You mean Rika Suzuki?”

“All through our whole shift… Even afterward, too, she was acting all weird and fidgety, you know? And she kept checking her phone, too. I can’t do this! If this keeps up, I won’t be able to work—at the call centre, or as the Hero! I still have to slay the Devil King, but that would mean having Alas Ramus kill her own ‘daddy’, and if I store her in my body in holy-sword form, she’s whining and moaning in my mind and I can’t focus on anything… I just don’t know what to do…”

“Kind of a weird case of postpartum stress…”

Be serious!

I am.

“I don’t know if this is gonna be a solution or anything, but…”

“But what?!”

“But, um, if you moved into an empty room in Maou’s apartment building, that’s at least make Alas Ramus happy.”

“Nuh-uh. _Not_ happening. That’d make me feel like I lost to him, kind of.”

“Yusa, _you_ don’t have to start acting like a child, too.”

“But, come on—”

“Whee! Moving to Daddy’s house!”

See, Alas Ramus is all for the idea.


	51. Chapter 51

“You’re lighting that campfire again?”

“This is called the okuribi, okay? Could you at least try to learn a little about Japan?”

“Okuribi? Huh. Great. …So why’re you doing that?”

“It’s so I can guide the souls of the ancestors I called over here with mukaebi back to their own world. Normally you’d do this at the end of the Obon holiday, but I don’t think anyone’s gonna care if I push it up a bit.”

I let out a languid laugh.

“This is my way of getting Alas Ramus back up there, to…wherever, okay? …And I guess I wasted my money on that, too. Didn’t even use it once.”

My eyes are pointed at the child’s seat saddled on Dullahan II.

“I don’t feel like talking to you today. Go away.”

“Oh, thanks a lot. I’m here because I wanted to ask you something, okay? And I better get an answer. Lemme ask you about the charm that traveller got from the angel. What happened to that once he became king?”

I let out a soft groan.

“I just want to know for reference. If you had it all planned out, can you tell me?”

“…So that’s all? You’re just here to screw around with me?”

“Sure. Fine. It’s just me coming over here to laugh at the Devil King while he’s moping all by himself.”

“You Heroes and angels are just the nastiest bastards, aren’t you?”

“Not as much as you demons are.”

Could you _please_ step in and save me Chiho?

Like you would believe me if I just blurted the truth out.

“…Once the traveller became king, he forgot all about the charm. Then a lot of stuff happened to him, and once he was back on the road as just another dusty wanderer, he came across it again. He swore he’d treat it better this time, but…maybe it was payback for what he did as king, who knows, but anyway, someone took it from him, probably.”

“Hohhh. Innn-teresting, But he still remembered that it really meant something to him, huh?”

“…Look, what do you want?”

I glare at you.

I’m looking away from you.

“…Huh?”

“So I think he’ll probably treat it really well next time. What do you think?”

“I agree.”

“What is _with_ you two today…?”

“Well, it’s not like I know what kind of great treasure this was for the traveler, but if that’s how you put it, it must’ve been really important wasn’t it?”

I raise my right hand.

“Do you know how it feels to lose something precious to you now? If you do, then you better treat it right this time.”

I materialize Alas Ramus in front of Maou.

“Daddy!!”

“Alas…Ramus…? What on, hang on, how did you…?”

I stagger to my feet, dropping the photo I was holding.

“Daddy, no! Don’t drop it! You’ll hurt it!”

Alas Ramus picks up the picture and holds it against her chest.

“Is…? No way, is this for real? Are you really Alas Ramus?!”

I fall to the ground, patting Alas Ramus on the head, face, and shoulders.

“Eek! Daddy, that prickles!”

Alas Ramus grabs your hand.

“So…there you have it.”

“Wow, so…so he didn’t take you away…”

“I figured I’d let you stew in your own juices for a while longer. But Alas Ramus kept going on about seeing her daddy, and it struck me as kind of a ‘demon’ move overall, so I brought her over here. I hope your appreciate…”

I start crying.

“Wait. Are you _crying_?”

“Uh? Huh? Buh?”

“Wh-what kind of Devil King are you? _Crying_ like that?! What are you, stupid? Quit it!”

“Daddy, are you hurt? Are you hurt?!”

“No, this is just, um, it’s like, kind of an accident, and things.”

That was convincing.

“You must be really happy, Maou. I mean, Alas Ramus is back! Everyone cries when they’re happy like that, you know.”

I look at you blankly.

“Chi-Sis, is Daddy okay? He isn’t hurt?”

I pat Alas Ramus on the head.

“He’s okay. Daddy’s just really happy to see you, is all.”

“I’m _not_ crying!”

I stand up.

“Wh-who the hell’s crying here?! Besides, I kew all that anyway! I’m the father of this girl! And I knew Gabriel and the Heavenly Regiment ran away, too!”

_Really_ convincing.

I pick up Alas Ramus.

“Wabpf!”

“We…we even made Alas Ramus’s food for today! Yo! Ashiya! Suzuno! We’re eating! It’s time to eat!”

Forgotten yet again.

I’m sure your stomach will lead you to where the food is.

I run up the stairs. 17.

You not going to put the fire out?

“…I’m amazed he could keep the act going for that long. But are they really going to eat in there?”

“I think they’ll be eating in Suzuno’s place for the time being. They’re still gonna sleep in their own room, though. It’d be cooler that way anyway, is how they put it.”

Again though, there’s no way you’re going to be allowed to keep it that way forever.

“You know, though…you don’t think anyone’s gonna call the cops or anything, do you?”

“I was just thinking about that, actually, but…well, it’s getting a lot of looks from people, but that place is kinda falling apart anyway, so… Besides, we wouldn’t really want the police here anyway, right? All’s well that end’s well.”

“True. And it’s not like _I_ have to worry about it.”

Keep telling yourself that.

…That’s actually a good idea.

Hmm?

I need plot ideas since what I had in mind got completely ruined.

Hold on. Do you actually intend for Gabriel to take Alas Ramus away?

Yes, why’d you think I had him bring lackeys? My thought was to keep you occupied dealing with them, while Gabriel took Alas Ramus. Then you would have to plan a rescue or something of the like.

So did _you_ forget what kind of angel I am?

No, I just wasn’t counting on you rolling that highly. And after that, I was sort of stuck, since Alas Ramus is the sort of character that would want to help her parents no matter what.

Hence her fusing with the Better Half?

Like I said, I was planning on having her do that at some later time. But you’re stuck with her like that now.

“I’ll need to have Alas Ramus over at my place for a while anyway.”

“Mommy! Chi-Sis! C’mon! Let’s eat!”

“Whoa, Alas Ramus! Watch out! You’re gonna take a tumble like Mommy did!”

The stairs are lethal!

“Come on, join us. Suzuno made it all, so it’s not gonna mess you up or anything.”

“…What do you think?”

“Well, despite every intention I had, I’m her mother now, I guess. Better keep an eye on her diet.”

I gingerly began to climb the stairs.


End file.
